***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading
Successfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.
All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.
To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.
Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.
In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.
But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.
That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.
Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.
My new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.
In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.
As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.
This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.
I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.
This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.
A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE
First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.
For more details drop me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).
Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:
My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00
To register for the 5 pack email me at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack
30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).
To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift
I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!
I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉
So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
Vacations used to mean a free for all in my world- reckless abandon for my routines, health and well being. My late teens and early 20’s were seriously dedicated to being the life of the party and testing my body and mind to push to the limits of what was possible and healthy.
Having been consciously immersed into the world of Radical Self Love for the past year and a half my approach to vacations has dramatically shifted as well. Over the past year and a half I have come to really understand I love feeling good. My habits and routines are in place not to limit me or restrict me but to empower me into feeling good more of the time.
Eating really crappy food isn’t really much of a exciting thing anymore as my body reacts pretty intensely to large amounts of processed foods. Now this isn’t to say I never indulge. Of course I do- I just don’t over do it like I used to. Vacations used to be the time when I really would go over board and justify it to myself because hell, I was on vacation.
With my ever growing self confidence, self love and self value I’ve created a new way of vacationing for myself that clearly works and has me continue to rock out as my high vibin self.
A little planning goes a long way. In the case of this particular vacation the day before we left I was finishing up a 3.5 day juice cleanse. Knowing my body would have to be eased back into whole foods I made a declaration to our crew that I would be responsible for my own eats and then I did a little meal planning. I found a local natural/whole food market in one of the towns we drove through and stocked up on organic local produce and gentle whole foods that would compliment my cleanse and be easy to prepare.
Back in the day I likely would have had the same desire to eat clean but I would have been way to self conscious and insecure of voice my desires. What I learned this time around is no one else really cared that I wanted to do my own thing nor did anyone negatively question me. Because I owned it from a place of peace, inner alignment and love my positive inention was picked up by my peeps and respected.
Do a little research either before arriving or when you get there to suss out places that are in alignment with your lifestyle. Conveniently there is a raw, vegan, gluten free bakery literally down the street from where we are staying. We are in a seriously small town and I still managed to find an alternative that allows me to enjoy dessert just in a super healthy capacity. The gems are always around- it’s up to you to find them.
My body is used to regular movement and exercise however often on vacation there isn’t a gym or yoga studio near by or accessible. Instead this morning I walked down to the lake set up on the dock, meditated for 30 minutes then followed it up with a 30 minute gentle yoga session. After breakfast I hit the hiking trails with my homies and rocked a mountain trail hike for 2 hours. There are always fun ways to get the body moving on vacation, swimming, playing, hiking, make shift yoga- the possibilities are there- it just takes you to open up to them.
I run an online business, I LOVE writing. Just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean I want to stop doing the things I derive value and joy from. I’m also not going to stop being of service to my community because I’m taking some time off. I set up my business to manage itself for the most part with just a few small check ins throughout my time away. I also communicate to the people I’ll be on vacation with, in advance, what my needs are. When I’m writing and being creative I’m really happy, which is why I do it every day- vacation is no exception. I don’t write because I have to I write because I love to. Big difference. To honour that which I love I just communicate to my peeps that each day at some point I’m going to sneak away for some solo creation time. I usually keep it to about an hour so I still have loads and heaps of time to play and enjoy the company of my amazing friends and family.
Yes yes yes! Vacations are meant to be fun and to fulfill the purpose of enjoying yourself. Enjoyment means different things to different people so get clear on what things make you super happy to do while you are on vacation and then just do them. I love listening to great music, writing, reading, swimming, tanning, running in nature, hiking, cooking, lounging, watching movies when it rains, eat ice cream, drink really really good vino, laughing, playing cards, creating something new, being a positive contribution to the local community- the list goes on and on. The point is to get to know you so you know exactly what enjoying life looks like and feels like to you!
Ultimately vacations can be an opportunity to further the self love vibes and keep those feel good practices in full swing. You are always the conscious creator of your experience and how things go really depend on one thing- YOU. Get clear on what you need to feel great and what you want to do and experience during your vacation, then communicate this information as clearly as you can to the people around you. Standing in your truth is one of the greatest acts of self love we could ever learn to do on the regular. The great thing is when you have surrounded yourself with the right people, honouring your needs will completely resonate with them and may just inspire them to invite more self lovin into their lives 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
If there is one thing I have noticed in all my years as a coach and facilitator is that a large portion of peeps have challenge being ok with they are in the present moment- never mind actually loving where they are. The path of Radical Self Love supports us in learning what our own experience of peace of mind is and in the process we end up realizing we actually really love who we are and the life we lead- wherever we might be.
Nothing much changes when we’re in an incompatible vibe to that which we seek. Meaning we must be in a state of harmony and peace before the manifestation ball really gets going. If we are fully consumed with labouring and convincing ourselves and the people around us how much lack we are experiencing the Universe responds to your state of repeated focus by sending you more of what you are so dominantly focused on. When you make a conscious effort to drop the lack talk and instead focus on all you do have you bring yourself immediately into a place of love and appreciation for the present.
Each day choose one positive simple actionable. The sole focus of this action is to usher in massive joy. There are a lot of things you do or have done in your life that just make you freaking happy. These are often the simplest things- going for a walk in the woods, cracking jokes with friends, snuggling a animal, playing with crystals or oracle cards (one of my personal fav’s)- it will be different for everyone and there is a high probability the actionable will be different for you every day depending what’s up and how you are feeling. Doing things you love and that bring out the happiness within, support you immediately in feeling lit up about the now.
Humans have developed this habit of diminishing their accomplishments and not giving themselves credit for the awesomeness they have achieved. Of course we feel like shit and resist where we are at when we do this- it never feels good to feel like we are under performing or failing. When you are clear of how much you have actually achieved over your lifetime and even the course of a few short months your heart will settle into a place of great elation and calm down an over active mind. If it’s challenging at first to find evidence I would highly recommend you take this practice, make it a regular part of your self love routine and write those wins down as they happen.
When I was in a really rough place a few years ago I kept an evidence and accomplishment journal. Every day before bed I would write down all the actions I took that contributed to the expansion of my business and my dreams. I also recorded ALL the manifestations, attractions, accomplishments and wins of that day alone. It became very clear very quickly I achieve a lot more than I give myself credit for and I experience so many wins that my ego tries with all it’s might to diminish and bury. If this is where you are at- start here and watch those vibes soar.
Seriously, start meditating. When the mind is an untamed circus you will inevitably feel out of control, overwhelmed and unhappy in the now. When we take our power back, get still and confront what is actually going on in our minds we can consciously direct a different result. Facing and embracing the monkey mind is the first step to causing a new and expanded result. A regular practice of stillness helps us to more easily distinguish between the racket of the ego and the truth of our hearts. If you have never meditated before sitting silent alone with your thoughts is likely uncomfortable and deters you. So set yourself up for success, find an avenue that works for now and work towards sitting in silence one day. Start with short guided meditations. Start small and create a vibration of success by achieving an abundance of little milestones. Find ways that work for you and forget the rest.
When the ego has gone into mega overdrive (aka when we think we should be anywhere other than where we are) we’ve gone into full self absorption and separation land. When you celebrate another person, praise their wins or just find something you are grateful for about them, you fast track your way out of the pit of self absorption despair and enter the beautiful vibe of being a positive contribution to someone else. When we are kind and extend acts of kindness towards others our hearts crack wide open. An open heart is a present heart. A present heart is a content and happy heart. A happy heart isn’t trying to “get” somewhere other than where it is. It understands there is an ever present and ever evolving progression to our experience and it is inevitable in a Universe that is friendly and for you, that more goodness is on it’s way and that goodness will arrive in perfect divine timing.
If you are ready to take your self love practice to the next level check out our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program. This beauty has been intentionally designed to set you up for success, dial in the self love practices that really work for YOU and give you a solid foundation to take your life and relationships to a place of harmony, bliss, abundance and beautiful juicy magnificent love.
You deserve to be happy right now.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
A Smile Can Change Everything Every time you radiate happiness you activate those same vibrations in anyone and everyone who crosses your path. True story. Not everyone who comes into contact with this invisible feel good energy will become instantly … Continue reading
Stories of breakups, heartache and intense emotional upheaval seem to be subtly crossing my path lately. I sure have been through my fare share of all of these this past year and a half I wanted to shed some inspired light on navigating this tender territory from a place of self love.
It’s actually ok to be experiencing whatever you are. Happy, sad, upset, angry- whatever has made it’s presence known in your experience, is there for a reason. If we avoid, deny or try to stuff down this “stuff” it just builds more momentum and comes bursting out uncontrollably at a later date. Giving ourselves permission to be is one of the most freeing things we can ever do for our healing, growth and spiritual evolution.
A wonderful RSL mantra: “I give myself permission to be human and experience all emotions knowing each serves a divine and perfect purpose.”
A really magical thing happens when we come into acceptance- diffusion. When we give ourselves permission (step 1) then accept the emotional experience we are having as its happening- the duration of the upset is significantly reduced. Now all emotional upheavals and storms will be unique and some may last longer than others and that’s totally ok. The point is to remind yourself it is perfectly ok to be experiencing what you are.
A really great RSL mantra I use when emotions arise is this: “At this present moment I am having an experience of (I then identify the experience as best I can- anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness- whatever it is give it a name), it is ok that I am having this experience as having it means I am growing and expanding who I am, I accept this experience and trust I will receive the value of what it is here to teach me.” Then…
Your emotions need an avenue to clear themselves, period. It is at this stage where you also encounter the divine assignment of practicing personal responsibility. Just because you’re having an emotional storm doesn’t mean everyone around you needs to be pulled into the emotional hurricane too. Find responsible and respectful (to yourself and others) outlets to allow the emotion to pass. Like all storms it will and the more you resist it the longer and more intense it will get.
If I am in a situation where the clearing will negatively impact another I make a promise and pact with myself to allow the emotion passage to happen at a specific time and place in the very near future- then keep my word to myself. If I am in a space where no one will be negatively impacted I just allow the clearing to happen in the moment. To consciously make this distinction will require self awareness and self loving discipline, which in all honesty just takes a bit of practice to polish.
All of these prove to be quite effective and in my allowing of the emotion to pass through, without additional internal judgement (“Oh I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t be feeling this”) I am able to return to a state of clarity and calmness relatively quickly- in the grand scheme of things.
Part of the Radical Self Love journey is learning how to be ok with all aspects of your human experience. Learning how to bless these types of “negative” experiences and extract the gold always lying deep within, has certainly been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my Radical Self Love journey to date.
Give yourself permission, own the experience, allow the storm to fill you up and then allow it to pass on through. What you will begin to notice, with regular practice is, the duration and intensity of each emotional upheaval lightens as you become stronger in your application of these three graceful steps.
When we spend less time, energy and emotion in the stormy storms we free ourselves up to play and radiate in the blissful moments and experiences our lives are meant to bring.
Where ever you are is perfect, what ever you’re feeling is perfect, you are perfect just as you are. Remember that.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
WOW! 5 Days left in this blogging project! After my very successful interview this morning with the beautiful Lisa Barnwell with her global conference Bumps and the Boardroom, I wanted to share with you all one of my near and … Continue reading
In honour of his amazing influence on my life tonight I will share with you all some of the most precious things my Dad has taught me throughout my life.
My Dad is one of the most jolly people I know. He is always the first to crack a joke, pull a prank and just laugh at life. This has often reminded me when I get too serious (which in all honesty is pretty regular) to lighten up, laugh and find the humour in life.
My entire life I watched my Dad infuse all the work he’s ever done with such intention and dedication. He shows up and shows up 100%. I remember when he was my soccer coach in the seven years he coached me and my team he never once missed a practice or a game. He honoured all of our time and effort by being on time, ending on time and showing up every time, even when I’m sure he didn’t feel like it. This dedication has impacted me more than he may ever know. I learned from a very early age to do my best to respect others time and energy and when I say I’m going to do something- do it. A profound life lesson.
I certainly have acquired my fathers passion for order and meticulous action. I am most at peace when everything matches, is in it’s place and nicely organized. This quality brings a certain peace to my life and truly makes things a whole heck of a lot more workable.
This is a tough lesson for a lot of people, myself included. Having my Dad as a role model enabled me to more easily come to terms with the fact that in life there are things we can’t change and circumstances we can’t control. We can either fight against these conditions, resist them or come into a peaceful acceptance. I truly believe through his example is where I came up with this knowing that “everything that happens is the perfect thing to happen”. This particular motto has helped me immensely when in situations that didn’t go the way I expected or sometimes wanted.
No matter what I’ve done or how I have behaved my Dad has loved me. There has never once been a moment where I questioned his love or believed it wasn’t there. I’ve come to learn we all express and receive love in different capacities and once I figured this out I was even more present to the abundant love and support my father has for me and my brother.
My Dad has been a living breathing example of taking the biggest risk of all- following the path of your dreams. I have learned that this path is often challenging as we face many internal and sometimes external obstacles on the route to fulfilling our hearts desires- but the value of his example resides in not being stopped by this fact. I learned by watching my Dad it was safe to pursue my passions and to follow my heart- knowing that it might not work out but to at least give it a go. No regrets.
I am so deeply blessed to have such an incredible man for a father, someone who has taught me so much and inspired me to go for my dreams and live a life I am truly worthy of. I look forward to all the many years ahead to learn from him and continue to build upon this truly beautiful relationship I have the honour and privilege of sharing with my poppa. Love my Dad so very much!
To all the amazing fathers out there I celebrate you in my heart today. Thank you for all you do. You are loved.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
It is also a massive tool for programming messages into our subconscious minds. Our subconscious minds drive the majority of our behaviour (96-98% on average). Knowing this I’ve been really aware of the messages I program into my mind via music.
I tend to be drawn to music that leaves me feeling good and inspired. I also am super keen on being mindful of the lyrics of the tunes I listen to repeatedly. Our access to consciously reprogramming our subconscious is through repitition and consistentcy. So when we hear the same songs over and over, the programming (intentions and lyrics of the tune) becomes registered in our subconscious and ultimately begins to influence our behaviours.
With that being said I still love music that captures the full range of human emotions and I am all for a tear jerking song when the circumstances call for it. However, for the most part I prefer to stick to positive and uplifting tunes cause when I feel good magic begins to manifest in my life. In the spirit of sharing here is a song I have had on repeat a lot lately. It’s called “Good Life” by One Republic and its full of delicious high vibes and positive messages!
Enjoy this beauty and feel free to share with us on our FB page your favourite feel good tune! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
As a conscious creator and a Radical Self Lover we must use this gift to it’s fullest potential. Which means coming to an awareness that sometimes the shit we tell ourselves is really not the most optimal or beneficial to our growth and expansion.
There are plenty of words I would recommend be removed from you vocabulary but to start off lets get right to the juiciest one:
This word is really damaging to our self confidence, our ability to own our choices and be clear on who we are and what we stand for.
I should do this because…
I should be there because…
I should invited them because…
These never feel good.
You should have known…
You should do this…
He/she should just know this about me…
This list could go on forever. When we opt into shoulding we are about to fully embark on the lower vibe train. The point of our human experience is to feel good. Shoulding and feeling good are just incompatible. Shoulding restricts. It reinforces the false perception that where we are isn’t where we are meant to be. It puts us into resistance to what is so- what is reality- what is occurring in the now. To feel good we must learn how to make peace with the now.
Next time you go to should on yourself or someone else stop yourself. Tune in and reconnect with love. When we do this we can clearly see other alternatives that allow our communication to be received in such a way where everyone involved is left expansive and feeling good. Which is the point 😉
For more feeling good and self love tools check out our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program and get those vibes in alignment with all the glorious goodness this life has to offer. You are worth it all.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels
The Radical Self Love Project 