Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love-Day 365: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy shitballs I did it!!!

radical self love projectSuccessfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.

  • I considered writing the highlights of the year.
  • I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
  • I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
  • I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
  • I considered just writing another self love lesson.
  • I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.

All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.

To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.

Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.

Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love

In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.

But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.

That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.

Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.

radicalselfloveMy new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.

In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.

As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.

This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.

I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.

This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.

radical self love kelsey grant

In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!

Gift #1:

A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook-  Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE

Gift #2:

First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.

For more details drop me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).

Gift # 3:

Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:

My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00

To register for the 5 pack email me at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack

30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).

To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift

I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!

I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉

So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

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The One Word To Remove From Your Vocabulary- Day 357: 365 Radical Self Love Project

As humans we are so privileged to have language to express our life experience.

As a conscious creator and a Radical Self Lover we must use this gift to it’s fullest potential. Which means coming to an awareness that sometimes the shit we tell ourselves is really not the most optimal or beneficial to our growth and expansion.

There are plenty of words I would recommend be removed from you vocabulary but to start off lets get right to the juiciest one:

SHOULD

This word is really damaging to our self confidence, our ability to own our choices and be clear on who we are and what we stand for.

Should is rooted in some belief in obligation.

I should do this because…
I should be there because…
I should invited them because…

Shoulding is also rooted in expectations and usually imposed expectations.

These never feel good.

You should have known…
You should do this…
He/she should just know this about me…

This list could go on forever. When we opt into shoulding we are about to fully embark on the lower vibe train. The point of our human experience is to feel good. Shoulding and feeling good are just incompatible. Shoulding restricts. It reinforces the false perception that where we are isn’t where we are meant to be. It puts us into resistance to what is so- what is reality- what is occurring in the now. To feel good we must learn how to make peace with the now.

We can’t should on ourselves and feel good. Period.

radical self love kelsey grantNext time you go to should on yourself or someone else stop yourself. Tune in and reconnect with love. When we do this we can clearly see other alternatives that allow our communication to be received in such a way where everyone involved is left expansive and feeling good. Which is the point 😉

For more feeling good and self love tools check out our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program and get those vibes in alignment with all the glorious goodness this life has to offer. You are worth it all.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

A Walk Down Memory Lane- Covering “Better Life”- Day 323: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Last week at the workshop I taught I pulled an example of how being rooted in a self love and self care practiced prepped me for one of the biggest performances I had done solo at the Calgary Stampede.

Prior to this performance I had never really established a pre-show self care ritual.

Before this game changing performance I did a couple things differently than I usually had.

1. No caffiene- Lets face it as much as I love coffee it does give me the jitters some times- especially when I’m already in an environment where I was prone to being nervous- so I cut it from my morning ritual.

2. High intensity exercise. I went for an early morning summer run to get out any excess anxiety or nervouseness that was there for me.

3. I did a 40 minute meditation, outside sitting on a massive rock (for ultimate grounding) and beside a lake to calm my emotions.

4. I drank a litre of raw green juice. I knew if I wanted to be at my best and the greatest expression of love I needed to put the highest vibin fuel into my body.

These four steps forever changed my experience of performing. For the first time in my entire career of performing live (25 years at this point) I was completely calm before I stepped onto the stage, I was also at peace with whatever was going to happen post performance (I was in a competition).

In the spirit of this magical trip down memory lane I wanted to share with you all the audition song I submitted that landed me in the competition at the Calgary Stampede in front of a crowd of nearly 3000 people. It’s my version of Keith Urbans tune “Better Life”.

Enjoy!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Feeling Re-energized and Re-inspired: The Benefits of A Breakdown- Day 313: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Healing is a process

radical self love kelsey grantEvery day I wake up since this mini health breakdown I’ve been feeling better and better. Additionally this down time has given me a chance to process more residual crap I was unconsciously holding onto and clear out space for more goodness to flow in.

One of the major shifts I’ve noticed lately is the new energy I’m feeling about my company, my programs and my creativity is at an all time high. Before getting sick I was feeling stuck. Feeling uninspired especially with my writing. I love writing it’s one of my favourite forms of expression and I was stopped. I was majorly resistant to writing the ebook and just didn’t feel in a place where I was going to be writing anything of positive value.

Enter the breakdown.

These 2 weeks of “forced” downtime allowed me to fill up in a major way. Even though my body is still in the final stages of recovery my brain feels alert and the inspiration is bursting out of me. Following an epic meditation last week I downloaded the entire free ebook and now I’m just in the process of putting all the pieces in place. I’m so freaking stoked this free ebook is going to be the foundation of the RSL Relationship Mastermind group and I know deep within me that giving this insight and wisdom freely is going to have a massive positive impact out in the hearts of the peeps in our community. It feels so good to be in the process of creating something that has the potential to forever set people on the right track to be in conscious relationships AND maintain a healthy sense of self love and balance!! EEEEK! I’m so freaking stoked!

I know I promised deets about the RSL Relationship Mastermind and the course “From Breakup to Breakthrough” within a week and I haven’t been in a place to create all that magic for you lovers. I appreciate the understanding and patience of all of you beauties while I made my way to recovery. From this new internal space of revitalization and newly birthed inspiration I am ready to go into full creation mode and design a kick ass mastermind and a profoundly life changing 12 week course!

radical self love kelsey grant

In my commitment to your greatness I want to share with you all some of the things this week which contributed and helped me get back on the high vibin train:

– loads and heaps of rest
– a relaxing lavender eye pillow
– essential oils (Theives, peppermint halo, detox, tea tree and immune booster)
– salt and essential oil baths
– afternoon naps
– lots and lots of love from my family
– massive support from my partner
– organic, home made chicken soup
– super green organic juice
– beet juice blends
– raw garlic
– new music (Justin Timberlake’s vibes just make my body want to dance and dancing/movement is so good for the soul)
– reading
– amping up the meditation
– filtered lemon water
– kombucha
– telling the truth
– organic berry smoothies
– oil pulling (incredibly helpful for a cold!!)
– laughter
– connecting with old friends
– writing notes of gratitude and appreciation to the people close to me
– light exercise when my body permitted
– sauna meditations
– trusting myself
– spiritual surrender
– asking for help
– writing
– audio books
– Michael Beckwiths sermons
– snuggles
– soul coaching
– thoughts that make my heart happy
– future planning and creative brainstorming
– jumping on the no train- saying no, and honouring my boundaries
– GRATITUDE

Above all else when a breakdown hits or when resistance is bowling you over TRUST this is a sign that you are about to head to a new level of greatness and that what is ahead is always far greater, more expansive and fulfilling than anything we are called to leave behind. Embrace the breakdown, let it teach you what you need to know and then let it propel you into the great unknown where all delicious possibilities and potential reside.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Embracing Change- 5 Secrets To Making Change Stick: Day 312: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Today on Marie TV is a special interview.

Marie interviews Todd Herman on the secrets to change and making it stick. With all the convo’s I’ve heard lately with feeling stuck or experiencing resistance along the path of Radical Self Love I figured this would be an amazing resource to share with all of you lovers!

Enjoy!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The 5 Step Guide To Get You Back To Feeling Good- Day 248: 365 Radical Self Love Project

There has been a common theme among all the client sessions I’ve had today-

“How do I get back to feeling good when I feel so crappy?”

I figure if this showed up for all these peeps chances are a lot of you are wondering the same thing, so I am going to share with you some key practices to getting back into the good vibe!

Radical self love kelsey grant

The 5 Step Guide To Get You Back to Feeling Good

1. Stop resisting where you are right now.

What we resist persists and what we fight we strengthen. The first and most important step to getting back to goodness is accepting the present as it is right now. Own what you are feeling even if it’s shitty. The moment you come into acceptance of what is so in the moment you allow yourself the energetic, mental and emotional space to create something new. It all starts with being honest with yourself.

2. Find your outlet to get all your excess energy out.

When we allow the not so good vibes to fester we run the very high possibility of snowballing into the world of downward spiralling. To approach this common pattern with love you will have to establish a way that works for you to get your excess energy out. When you are feeling frusterated, angry, upset what is your physical outlet to blow off that steam? Daily exercise is a great way to get these icky vibes out when they present themselves and it’s a long term solution to having them show up less frequently and certainly less intensely. Dancing, running, yoga anything that gets your body active and your heart rate up and your sweat on is ideal.

3. Stop hanging around with jerks.

Make a radical self love declaration to only keep around people in your life that bring out the best in you and you in them. Positivity, authenticity and compassion are key when making the social circle YES list.

4. Stop giving yourself permission to avoid doing things that will make you feel good, keep you in alignment and keep your vibes high.

The more we listen to our excuses the less results we see. Simple truth. If you want to be happier it is actually all up to YOU. If you keep doing things that make you feel crappy, or avoid doing the things you know will bring massive positive change  your way then the actual truth is you don’t really want to be happy. You most likely like the idea of being happy but are more committed to staying stuck that taking the actions that will get you there. Instead, if you are really committed to being happy, every time you come up with an excuse of why you shouldn’t do something you know will make you feel better, acknowledge it, and make the choice to do it anyway. Thank your excuse for sharing and remind yourself that happiness is a result of the actions, thoughts and feelings you call forth within yourself.

5. Make a go-to short list of things that raise your vibes.

Often when we are in the pit of self dispair we have short term memory loss and conviently forget what we could do that would raise our vibes and get us back into alignment (sneaky sneaky ego tricks). Make a list when you are clear and feeling good of the things you know to do to raise your energy and your vibes. For example my list consists of: listening to Keith Urban, looking a pictures of kittens or puppies, going for a walk and petting dogs on the street, snuggling an animal, watching the pure joy and laughter of a little human, meditation, watching episodes of The Awesomeness Advantage and the list goes on. The point is when we have this list we don’t give ourselves any room to default to our excuses which is a beautiful thing.

It’s ok to feel it all- just let yourself come back up for air.

radical self love kelsey grantIt is important to note that feeling, sad, low, and angry are all legit experiences of the human condition and we are meant to feel them to some degree in our lives. The purpose of this article and these suggestions is to support you in coming out of those phases quicker, to bring more awareness to why you are experiencing those feelings and how you can constructively learn from them- aka coming back up for air. There is also a distinction to be made here about experiencing a healthy dose of contrast and wallowing in our darkness.

Healthy Dose of Contrast VS Wallowing in Self Pity.

I personally believe the challenging times are the times when our greatest gifts are delivered to us- in the disguise of a challenge, hurt, upset, betrayal ect. Grief is a very important human expression and we must give ourselves permission to feel it all. We must also give ourselves permission to not be consumed by the temptation to wallow or spiral out of control with negative emotion.

radical self love kelsey grantI imagine since you are here reading this you are one of the beautiful humans who has incarnated this time around to beam more love and blessings into the world. This will mean you certainly will have your ups and downs throughout your lifetime and what makes your path a one of love is choosing to bring higher consciousness, deeper awareness and more freaking happiness into your experience!!! 😉

It is your divine birthright to be happy- let yourself go there and let yourself feel it all- especially the good stuff. You are worth it after all!!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels

Giving Ourselves Permission To Change- Day 231: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Giving ourselves permission to change.

If I had to say there was a dominant theme to this week this would be it.

It has shown up with my clients, it has shown up within the RSL community, the RSL 30 Day Program peeps and it has shown up in me.

Giving ourselves permission to change.

I read an interesting passage this afternoon about health, it stated that approximately 30% of people who are sick actually listen to their doctors advice on how to get better. This got me thinking about how most people go through life addicted to their pain, defined by their problems and completely unwilling to change who they are all the while expecting the world around them to change instead.

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Why are so many people who are sick unwilling to do what it takes to heal?

My assumption is that people are willing to stay sick for a few reasons:

change-is-the-essence-of-life-be-willing-to-surrender-what-you-are1. It ensures they maintain the attention of those around them. Think about it. When you are sick you become the centre of attention. People dote on you, they take care of you, they design their lives around you to make you feel better. The ego loves this and is simply not willing to let go of being the centre of attention.

2. Allows people to avoid responsibility. When we are unable to set boundaries, say no or take responsibility for ourselves and our lives we can attract sickness as a way to say no. It gives us an out and we never really have to tell the truth or approach the discomfort of saying no to someone or something.

3. We never have to get real about what is really at the root of our imbalance. This shows up when we treat the symptoms in order to manage the dis-ease instead of doing the internal work to heal. When this happens it is a clear indication that there is an unwillingness to actually feel good. This is the addiction to pain. It is another avoidance mechanism this time to addressing the cause of the imbalance. As humans we have become so removed from the potential we have to feel incredible that we have settled for a quality of life that isn’t exactly comfortable or enjoyable.

Why is this relevant or important to a self love practice?

The ways in which this applies to self love are simple. When we are on the journey of loving ourselves more we will be faced with all the ways in which we haven’t been loving towards ourselves, the places where we must heal to move forward fearlessly and the habitual patterns of behaviour that really only serve one purpose- to keep us stuck.

We become aware of the ways we “get” attention, our patterns of avoidance and our coping mechanisms for our lives. It allows us to take a look at these behaviours from a place of love and compassion.

We all have the capacity to transform and change- the first step is our willingness.

It doesn’t matter if it’s our health, relationships, money, career, soul path what ever area of life we are focused in on these dominant patterns of the ego are going to show up.

How we do anything is how we do everything.

It is when we are ready, able and willing to shine some light on them that the true space for transformation blooms.

The path of Radical Self Love is our own inner journey to awareness. When we are aware of what we do to get attention we can address the underlying needs not being met and design healthy and effective ways to make sure we are receiving what we need. We get to become our own best friends. It is a truly magical process.

photo-37If you are ready to dive in and take your experience of feeling good to a whole new level join us for the 30 Day Radical Self Love Program. Registration details can be found here: www.kelseygrant.com/30dayprogram

Your natural state is bliss, you were designed to feel good. Give yourself permission to change, transform and surrender into the incredible potential you have to feel amazing, live a life that inspires you and most importantly feels incredible from the inside out. It’s your birthright to feel good. Give yourself permission to go there.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Beauty is What Is Possible When We Open Our Hearts to Each Other- Day 166: 365 Radical Self Love Project

After a seriously uplifting day I couldn’t think of a better vibration to beam out to all you lovers.

More details to come tomorrow, from the incredibly beautiful day of overcoming past ways of being, receiving support, allowing the beauty of connection to burst into form. These were all themes of my day today.

I am grateful for each of the sacred moments and once I have a chance to process them and share them fully they will be coming atcha tomorrow!

radical self love kelsey grantUntil then allow the beauty of this video to bring some joy, connection and true beauty into your life. It is incredible what becomes possible when kindness is at the source of our actions. In this video you will witness the power of a kind gesture and the heart opening impact it has.

Wherever we are, whatever our lives look like we are all capable of extending kindness, we are all capable of coming together in the spirit of love and contribution and when we do magic happens.

Check out this video love faces!

It’s My Man’s 30th Birthday Time to Celebrate!!! Day 150: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Today my man turns 30.

1234064_10200597021314658_240328618_nWhat a beautiful life milestone. I absolutely loved turning 30 last year and I am so blissed out he has now joined me in the land of 30.

What I loved about entering this phase of my life was that for the first time I really felt grounded in who I was. My twenties were a phase where I was experimenting with life. Trying all sorts of things, exploring what I wanted and what I didn’t want. It was a time of great self discovery, travel, learning, accomplishment, stepping out into my own, taking giant leaps of faith and coming into a greater understanding of myself, my talents, my passions and why I am here.

Upon my 30th birthday I had really settled into my skin. I could confidently say I knew who I was and was completely solid in standing in my truth. My 30th birthday was my first drunk free celebration. I had a couple glasses of wine with my dinner and a celebratory mimosa with my breakfast and then kept to water and high vibes. It became very clear on this birthday that feeling good in the long term was more important than a short term “release”.

It felt good to make such an empowered choice to keep my body and mind clean and clear and for the first time the focus of the celebration was on being present with the incredible people in my life who were presents at my birthday. I was really able to see and feel into the deep gratitude for these beautiful souls who had been a huge guiding force in my spiritual, emotional and mental maturation.

This same awareness has stuck with me since turning 30. I now make choices based on my values and whether or not I truly want to do something. I make better choices about what goes into my body and the energy I surround myself with. I am highly selective with whom I spend time with and make sure to choose a social circle that enhances the positive aspects of my being and family mates who call me to be more.

I am so blessed to have been here with my partner as he enters this amazing phase of his life. Only he knows what this phase will bring because his path is his own, I just know I am here to lovingly support him the way he has supported me during this new cycle. I am over joyed to be celebrating with him today and I am so excited to see the magical manifestations he calls into his life in this year ahead!

cbbdayMega love and blessings to the beautiful love of my life ❤
CB you are incredibly special and so deeply loved!
xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

KG