***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading
Holy shitballs I did it!!!
Successfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.
- I considered writing the highlights of the year.
- I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
- I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
- I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
- I considered just writing another self love lesson.
- I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.
All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.
To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.
Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.
Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love
In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.
But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.
That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.
Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.
My new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.
In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.
As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.
This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.
I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.
This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.
In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!
A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE
First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.
For more details drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).
Gift # 3:
Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:
My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00
To register for the 5 pack email me at email@example.com with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack
30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).
To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift
I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!
I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉
So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Vacations used to mean a free for all in my world- reckless abandon for my routines, health and well being. My late teens and early 20’s were seriously dedicated to being the life of the party and testing my body and mind to push to the limits of what was possible and healthy.
Having been consciously immersed into the world of Radical Self Love for the past year and a half my approach to vacations has dramatically shifted as well. Over the past year and a half I have come to really understand I love feeling good. My habits and routines are in place not to limit me or restrict me but to empower me into feeling good more of the time.
Eating really crappy food isn’t really much of a exciting thing anymore as my body reacts pretty intensely to large amounts of processed foods. Now this isn’t to say I never indulge. Of course I do- I just don’t over do it like I used to. Vacations used to be the time when I really would go over board and justify it to myself because hell, I was on vacation.
With my ever growing self confidence, self love and self value I’ve created a new way of vacationing for myself that clearly works and has me continue to rock out as my high vibin self.
How to keep up the self lovin on vacation
1. Pre planning.
A little planning goes a long way. In the case of this particular vacation the day before we left I was finishing up a 3.5 day juice cleanse. Knowing my body would have to be eased back into whole foods I made a declaration to our crew that I would be responsible for my own eats and then I did a little meal planning. I found a local natural/whole food market in one of the towns we drove through and stocked up on organic local produce and gentle whole foods that would compliment my cleanse and be easy to prepare.
Back in the day I likely would have had the same desire to eat clean but I would have been way to self conscious and insecure of voice my desires. What I learned this time around is no one else really cared that I wanted to do my own thing nor did anyone negatively question me. Because I owned it from a place of peace, inner alignment and love my positive inention was picked up by my peeps and respected.
2. Find the local gems.
Do a little research either before arriving or when you get there to suss out places that are in alignment with your lifestyle. Conveniently there is a raw, vegan, gluten free bakery literally down the street from where we are staying. We are in a seriously small town and I still managed to find an alternative that allows me to enjoy dessert just in a super healthy capacity. The gems are always around- it’s up to you to find them.
3. Stay active- just change it up.
My body is used to regular movement and exercise however often on vacation there isn’t a gym or yoga studio near by or accessible. Instead this morning I walked down to the lake set up on the dock, meditated for 30 minutes then followed it up with a 30 minute gentle yoga session. After breakfast I hit the hiking trails with my homies and rocked a mountain trail hike for 2 hours. There are always fun ways to get the body moving on vacation, swimming, playing, hiking, make shift yoga- the possibilities are there- it just takes you to open up to them.
4. Own what you need.
I run an online business, I LOVE writing. Just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean I want to stop doing the things I derive value and joy from. I’m also not going to stop being of service to my community because I’m taking some time off. I set up my business to manage itself for the most part with just a few small check ins throughout my time away. I also communicate to the people I’ll be on vacation with, in advance, what my needs are. When I’m writing and being creative I’m really happy, which is why I do it every day- vacation is no exception. I don’t write because I have to I write because I love to. Big difference. To honour that which I love I just communicate to my peeps that each day at some point I’m going to sneak away for some solo creation time. I usually keep it to about an hour so I still have loads and heaps of time to play and enjoy the company of my amazing friends and family.
5. Enjoy life.
Yes yes yes! Vacations are meant to be fun and to fulfill the purpose of enjoying yourself. Enjoyment means different things to different people so get clear on what things make you super happy to do while you are on vacation and then just do them. I love listening to great music, writing, reading, swimming, tanning, running in nature, hiking, cooking, lounging, watching movies when it rains, eat ice cream, drink really really good vino, laughing, playing cards, creating something new, being a positive contribution to the local community- the list goes on and on. The point is to get to know you so you know exactly what enjoying life looks like and feels like to you!
Ultimately vacations can be an opportunity to further the self love vibes and keep those feel good practices in full swing. You are always the conscious creator of your experience and how things go really depend on one thing- YOU. Get clear on what you need to feel great and what you want to do and experience during your vacation, then communicate this information as clearly as you can to the people around you. Standing in your truth is one of the greatest acts of self love we could ever learn to do on the regular. The great thing is when you have surrounded yourself with the right people, honouring your needs will completely resonate with them and may just inspire them to invite more self lovin into their lives 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
p.s. Stay tuned for our completion of the 365 Radical Self Love Project tomorrow!! I have a couple gifts to offer as a massive celebration of such an incredible milestone!!! Check in tomorrow to see all the goodness! xoxo
There is a general vibe floating through the air these days in the RSL community.
Stories of breakups, heartache and intense emotional upheaval seem to be subtly crossing my path lately. I sure have been through my fare share of all of these this past year and a half I wanted to shed some inspired light on navigating this tender territory from a place of self love.
3 Self Loving Steps To Gracefully Navigate Emotional Storms
1. Give yourself permission to be feeling what you are feeling.
It’s actually ok to be experiencing whatever you are. Happy, sad, upset, angry- whatever has made it’s presence known in your experience, is there for a reason. If we avoid, deny or try to stuff down this “stuff” it just builds more momentum and comes bursting out uncontrollably at a later date. Giving ourselves permission to be is one of the most freeing things we can ever do for our healing, growth and spiritual evolution.
A wonderful RSL mantra: “I give myself permission to be human and experience all emotions knowing each serves a divine and perfect purpose.”
2. Come into full acceptance of your emotions when they arise.
A really magical thing happens when we come into acceptance- diffusion. When we give ourselves permission (step 1) then accept the emotional experience we are having as its happening- the duration of the upset is significantly reduced. Now all emotional upheavals and storms will be unique and some may last longer than others and that’s totally ok. The point is to remind yourself it is perfectly ok to be experiencing what you are.
A really great RSL mantra I use when emotions arise is this: “At this present moment I am having an experience of (I then identify the experience as best I can- anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness- whatever it is give it a name), it is ok that I am having this experience as having it means I am growing and expanding who I am, I accept this experience and trust I will receive the value of what it is here to teach me.” Then…
3. Allow, allow, allow.
Your emotions need an avenue to clear themselves, period. It is at this stage where you also encounter the divine assignment of practicing personal responsibility. Just because you’re having an emotional storm doesn’t mean everyone around you needs to be pulled into the emotional hurricane too. Find responsible and respectful (to yourself and others) outlets to allow the emotion to pass. Like all storms it will and the more you resist it the longer and more intense it will get.
If I am in a situation where the clearing will negatively impact another I make a promise and pact with myself to allow the emotion passage to happen at a specific time and place in the very near future- then keep my word to myself. If I am in a space where no one will be negatively impacted I just allow the clearing to happen in the moment. To consciously make this distinction will require self awareness and self loving discipline, which in all honesty just takes a bit of practice to polish.
Some of the things I do to allow the clearing:
- Crying (I’m a Cancer and this is the most effective method for me)
- High intensity exercise
- Screaming into a pillow
- Punching a pillow or punching bag
- Lions breath
- Real talk journalling
- Verbal clearing (done only in a professional context with a coach)
- And my ultimate fav, because it inevitably cracks me up is: stomping around and over dramatizing- think 2 year old temper tantrum 😉
All of these prove to be quite effective and in my allowing of the emotion to pass through, without additional internal judgement (“Oh I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t be feeling this”) I am able to return to a state of clarity and calmness relatively quickly- in the grand scheme of things.
Part of the Radical Self Love journey is learning how to be ok with all aspects of your human experience. Learning how to bless these types of “negative” experiences and extract the gold always lying deep within, has certainly been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my Radical Self Love journey to date.
Give yourself permission, own the experience, allow the storm to fill you up and then allow it to pass on through. What you will begin to notice, with regular practice is, the duration and intensity of each emotional upheaval lightens as you become stronger in your application of these three graceful steps.
When we spend less time, energy and emotion in the stormy storms we free ourselves up to play and radiate in the blissful moments and experiences our lives are meant to bring.
Where ever you are is perfect, what ever you’re feeling is perfect, you are perfect just as you are. Remember that.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Holy hot damn I have 10 days left on this blogging project!
I can’t believe it has been nearly a year since I started this incredible blogging journey. There has been so many incredible blessings and lessons I have embraced this year and today I am going to share with you
The three top gifts this year long project has blessed me with:
1. A mega appreciation and deeper knowing of what being committed really means.
This year has taken something to complete. There have been days when I honestly just didn’t feel like showing up, I didn’t want to write and I didn’t want to share. But I have. I’ve shown up every day. To do so required me to play at a higher level than I ever had before. I know this new relationship to commitment will bring incredible value and wisdom into my coaching practice. I know have the honour of supporting others in this community to remain committed to themselves even when they don’t feel like it. This is self love on a whole new level baby.
2. An awareness and acknowledgement of my talents, passions and interests.
Over the past year I have come to terms with the fact I am a really incredible writer. My talent and love for writing has truly blossomed over this past year and I am honestly so proud of who I have become and how powerful my writing actually is. My heart is inspired to keep writing- just in new and expanded capacities.
3. The ultimate truth: I am capable beyond measure.
This year has taught me I am so freaking capable of acheviving everything I invest my heart into. I knew this on some level before I began and this project has given me the space to become so clear that as long as my heart is leading the way there isn’t anything I am actually incapable of achieving.
After nearly one year I have a profound new understanding of what living on purpose and creating on purpose truly means. I have shed many layers, grown in a multitude of ways and anchored in an incredible foundation to build the rest of my life upon. This next year ahead is going to be magical, abundant, love filled and so very blessed- because I say so 😉
I’m still in a bit of shock and amazement that here I am 10 days left and so filled with love, excitement and hope. I know by living the example of Radical Self Love I hold the potential to inspire a global community of amazing people who are ready to let love in, create a kick ass relationship with themselves and in turn create relationships that play in conscious partnership playground.
WOW- this is what my life has become and damn is it beautiful ❤
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Today wraps up my time in Victoria.
The past three days have been jammed full of creative expression, full on creation, cleansing and so much love.
I chose to do a gentle juice cleanse while I was recording for a few reasons.
- When I’m juicing I feel so much lighter and brighter. This is optimal when going into a state of creation. To feel bright and clear makes the entire process that much more enjoyable.
- Additionally it fills me up with raw life force energy, which is the pure energy of love. When I’m juicing I find it quite easy to dip into deep states of meditation and I am much jollier. Gratitude radiates out of me and I go with the flow so much more.
- I also have a stable levels of energy which is really required when doing work of this nature because it is so energetically consuming.
In this state of super high vibes I am in very clear alignment with my creativity. Which makes recording music a lot easier and enjoyable.
In all my years of writing and recording music this by far was the most incredible and enjoyable process. I just got to be in my flow and the results speak for themselves. Without the pressures of “perfection” I could relax, get into alignment and allow the musical magic to flow through.
I spent about 5 hours in total recording both songs. I recorded the guitar, main vocals and background vocals for both and to do so in such a short amount of time seriously impressed me. We spent today in post production land mixing and putting the finishing touches on both of the tunes- and I am so pumped with how they turned out.
I headed out to a meeting just as the songs were being finished and when I came back to listen to the final product I was blown away. So freaking pumped and honestly really proud of myself and the amazing job I did. Listening to the guitar I was really impressed with how good it sounds and gave myself some serious credit for how far I’ve come in my playing in the past 6 years.
All in all this trip was exactly what my soul needed. I cleansed out the body, opened up to massive amounts of creative energy and allowed love in in a major way. The time I was so blessed to spend with my family, warmed my heart and spiked my energy even higher.
As I return home today I am tired but feel so damn alive and in alignment. So very excited for the next chapter of this crazy awesome adventure called my life 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
A few weeks ago I was asked if I would release my music to be used on a documentary film.
I’ve never officially recorded any of my recent (in the last 5 years) original tunes in a professional studio.
Prior to moving to Van I was in a band and did quite a bit of recording on the regular. I had a home studio with my former partner and I was able to hop in the studio any time I wanted.
Since moving to Van I re-directed my focus and began building my business and my new life. Music has always be a strong aspect in my journey but since moving five years ago it was no longer the dominant focus of my attention. I took the pressure off myself to “force” something to happen. I allowed myself to relax and trust that if music was meant to be a part of my journey going forward it would find a way.
And so it did.
In 2012 I embarked on a year long music challenge for myself. I decided that for an entire year I would learn one new chord on guitar every month and with that new chord write an original song and post it on Youtube. Out of that experience I deeply strengthened my skills as a guitar player and as a songwriter, AND…
It is those songs which were scouted for the documentary.
So now it is time to get back into the music studio and record a couple of them for use on the film- and I am stoked. I absolutely love being in the studio and recording music is one of my favourite aspects of being a musician.
My intention is within the next year to have recorded a series of my lovey/relationshipy/self lovey tunes to create the official RSL soundtrack for emotional healing and relationship manifestation.
Until then these are the songs I have selected to be used in the film. Have a listen and let me know which one is your favourite and the one you would like to see in the documentary!!!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
We all feel crappy sometimes- it’s a normal aspect of the human experience.
Contrast helps us gain more and more clarity into what we truly want and can be consciously used to direct our lives in a more on purpose direction. If these downward spirals of the ego are left unattended for too long, we may find ourselves trapped in what seems like an unchangeable state of upset and despair.
In those times of feeling super low, choosing better thoughts or curbing the negative self talk is often quite challenging. So how can you move from one of these moments of energetic lowness to a higher vibrational state?
The 1 Simple Step To Take You From Crappy To Happy
Perform a random act of kindness for a stranger or someone with whom you do not expect anything from in return.
When we act out a physical action of unconditional kindness towards another being it immediately reconnects us with our truth. It reminds us, ever so slightly of our interconnectedness with one another and our true nature which is love.
When we perform a selfless act of kindness towards someone else we take the focus off of ourselves. To step up the vibration scale this must happen. Staying trapped in the musings of the ego happens because the focus is all on you and the unfair or painful circumstance you are experiencing. The ego loves this attention. It feeds off it. When we go into the space of being of service or a positive contribution to anyone other than ourselves we elevate our vibration, because to do so requires us to step out of the dramatic stories of the ego, expand our awareness to another persons needs and recalibrate with love.
To receive love we must first give it away freely.
A simple gesture of opening the door for someone, holding the elevator, smiling at a stranger, giving a nice compliment to someone who momentarily crossed your path- anything that takes the immediate focus off the ego drama and into making a strangers life a little better, will immediately send a surging of positive emotion through your body. When this happens our truth is triggered and we remember if for a second the essence of who we are- love.
The next time you are feeling crappy- embrace the world and do something kind for someone. The more consistent you are in your practice of random acts of kindness the more expansive your heart becomes. Inside this expansiveness we re-establish our connection to each other, to the world and most importantly to ourselves- our true selves that is 😉
Go be kind and watch with a keen eye to witness your circumstances improve.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Today I got triggered in a big time way.
Inside of this triggering breakdown I had the chance to reach out and ask for support from my partner.
As soon as the trigger was activated, instead of letting it fester, I asked for support and if I could clear something with him that was activating an experience of upset and stress within me. Of course he said yes- he is incredible that way.
We dialogued for about 20 minutes while I cleared what I needed and gave him the stage to contribute his perspective and coaching my way. I let it in and found some peace around my challenge.
Then we headed out to adventure and find a new coffee shop to work in.
When we arrived at the coffee shop we continued our conversation and explored the deeper lessons and reasons why I was so triggered and upset. Inside of this very vulnerable exploration I was overwhelmed with emotion and I teared up.
I cried in the coffee shop
And it was incredibly freeing.
It was a testament to how far I’ve come along my journey. In a big time way I was able to be completely present to what was going on with me and not give a shit about where I was or the fact being gently emotional in public might make me “look bad” to anyone watching.
It didn’t matter because for one of the first times in my life, the exploration and expression of my wellbeing no longer dependant on the level of comfort people around me. My healing and gentle release was top priority. I allowed myself to completely be in my experience without stuffing it down or pretending I wasn’t hurting. I gave myself the freedom to just BE.
Years ago I wouldn’t have been caught ever showing emotion in public never mind being vulnerable enough to allow someone into the most intimately sacred parts of myself and courageously outing my insecurities. I would have shut it down immediately and saved it for a more “acceptable” time and place- which in all honesty meant I just wouldn’t deal with it.
This RSL journey has supported me in accessing deep and profound levels of self acceptance through my ever growing understanding and application of self love. My free self expression allowed me to constructively clear what needed to be let go of and created the space for deeper intimacy and connection between my partner and I.
I acknowledge my partner for the strength to hold space for me today and within that space anchor in more acceptance, compassion and connection.
I acknowledge myself for the courage it took to be boldly honest and deal with something immediately so that I could find a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness and self expression.
Passing a spiritual test with grace and compassion = levelling up to the next stage of greatness
Crying and the most raw and authentic self expression in the moment = freedom. Beautiful, pure freedom.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Holy smokes today is the final 30 day mark lovers!
In these final 30 days I intend to optimize this time together and write about the things YOU really want me to cover. This is my first of many gifts to you all! In the coming months after this blogging project wraps up I will be transitioning to a video blog format as well as weekly blogs over on my website and I would love to get into the habit of writing content based on our communities questions and interests.
So I have an ask of you.
If there is a specific topic you would like me to cover in these next 30 days let me know. Anything related to radical self love, self care, relationships, breakups, makeups, forgiveness, boundaries, trusting, healing infidelity, signs from the Universe, ego, love, fear, patience, anything about our 30 Day Program, RSL courses or RSL coaching we offer- ask away!
Send me a quick email at email@example.com and give me a short heads up on your RSL or Relationship related questions and the first 30 people to write me I will be answering their questions directly on the blog for the final month. Every submission question will be kept anonymous to respect privacy of each of you love faces.
Everyone who submits a question will receive a direct response from me confirming we received the question and approximately the date your question will be addressed on the blog. If we end up with more than 30 questions we will find alternative creative ways to answer the questions to benefit you and the community- if you are one of those submissions I will let you know what to expect from us!
What I love about this style of sharing is, if one of you is having a challenge with anything self love, self care or relationship based, guaranteed there are many others dealing with a similar challenge. When you speak your truth and ask for what you need you give others permission to do the same and you also contribute in a massive way to the community as a whole.
I receive a lot of questions 1-1 and it makes sense to me to frame the inquiries in such a way where all of us can benefit from the insights, wisdom and coaching. Really excited to step it up a notch for the final stretch! I am so very grateful for each and every one of you lovers who have joined me in co-creating this community. This past year of blogging and radical self love adventures has been pretty wild and deeply transformative and this gift one of the best ways I can illustrate my gratitude and give a massive THANK YOU for all of the support and love!
Send me your questions loves and lets rock these final 30 Days together in a HUGE way! xo (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!