***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading
Holy shitballs I did it!!!
Successfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.
- I considered writing the highlights of the year.
- I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
- I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
- I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
- I considered just writing another self love lesson.
- I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.
All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.
To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.
Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.
Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love
In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.
But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.
That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.
Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.
My new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.
In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.
As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.
This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.
I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.
This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.
In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!
A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE
First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.
For more details drop me an email at email@example.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).
Gift # 3:
Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:
My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00
To register for the 5 pack email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack
30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).
To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at email@example.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift
I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!
I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉
So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
I am over joyed and deeply moved with the outpouring of love and support from my communities within the last 24hrs.
Since publishing my post last night I’ve been flooded with positive feedback, incredible stories of courage, people relating and taking inspired and brave actions in their own lives. All of this possibility, transformation and love because of one extremely raw and authentic post.
Releasing that blog post was one of the best moves I’ve ever made.
It activated people in a big time way.
It touched hearts.
It opened minds.
It widened the capacity for compassion and forgiveness.
It evoked strong emotional reactions.
It caused the activation and expression of truth.
It gave the beautiful souls in this community the space to tell the truth on themselves.
It was shared- a lot.
This is not a coincidence. This is what happens when love leads the way. The activity and incredible feedback I have received in the past 24 hrs sparked within me a massive jolt of creativity, confidence and increased my capacity and willingness to be real and be seen.
Writing that piece wasn’t easy and releasing it out into the world brought up a lot of resistance- but the benefit I’ve seen in such a short time makes up for any initial uneasiness.
So Im stepping up.
I’m playing bigger.
I am willingly submitting my work to additional platforms and allowing this to take me where I am meant to go.
I am going full stop into my passion- supporting peeps in repairing the #1 relationship in their lives (the one with themselves) and support these lovers in rocking their romantic relationships through the vehicle of Radical Self Love.
This past year has been literally life changing and I’m stepping into it all. I’ve been cracked wide open and I’m ready and willing to step beyond my limitations and play like I never have.
We’re getting really real and really rad for this next year of RSL.
Love you all so dearly. Thank you for standing for love in the world. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing up and thank you for your willingness to radiate love consciousness into the world. Even if we’ve never met you have contributed to my life in such a deep and profound way, for this I am eternally grateful and I won’t stop going deeper and expanding higher. I’m open, ready and willing to release the aspects of my ego archetypes that keep me from being fully lit up, self expressed and self loving.
You all have made this journey so fulfilling and I bow in humble gratitude to your brilliance. Lets do this lovers! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
If you are ready to release ego archetypes in your relationships and level up in love’s radiance, sign up HERE to our mailing list to receive a FREE copy of my first ebook “Sabotaged Love- The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want” coming in July!!!
Finding Freedom in the shadows
Whatever the name, we all have it. The elements of our personality with less than positive intentions. It is when we are living through our shadow we have a higher tendency to get triggered. Triggered by another person, circumstances in life and scenarios we are faced with.
Your shadow is one of the greatest access points to your highest potential if you allow this unfolding to take place. Embracing the lessons the shadow leads us towards, encourages the harnessing of energy and activation of our awareness for the highest good and potential for all involved.
What you can’t be with about another, leads you towards a deeper awareness of yourself.
Everything we can’t be with, everything we reject, resist or flat out dislike about someone or something outside of ourselves will always lead us to a greater understanding to what is going on inside ourselves on a deep deep level.
We can only identify that which exists already inside us and we are only activated or triggered by anything outside of ourselves, when an aspect of our own experience we have rejected and can’t be with- is still lying dormant in our unconscious.
How the “other woman” was key for my self awareness and deep deep healing.
There are a lot of things I could say about the woman with whom my partner broke our relationship agreement with and the only thing worth sharing is the truth.
It was really easy for me to hate her. It was really easy for me to be angry at her. It was really easy for me to make her wrong for everything. It was really easy for me to find fault in everything she did and everything she continues to do.
What wasn’t easy was coming to terms with one of my greatest spiritual lessons: Everything I despised about her, were actually elements of myself I had left unhealed and unattended. What a massive wake up call.
My healing massively expanded when I started to use her reflection or more accurately my perception of her, for my own self discovery. Everything I couldn’t stand about her I took very close notice of- because it was actually mirroring what I couldn’t be with about myself.
I had to come to terms with the fact I had done the very same things I perceived she did- earlier in my life. I had repeated these disempowered behaviours multiple times during my life and I was still harbouring resentment and regret about it. I was withholding forgiveness towards myself.
Forgiving My Past
In my early 20’s I pursued men who were unavailable, men who were dating other people and I made it my game to manipulate them out of their relationships. In some shadowy twisted way when I “won” them away from their partners I made it mean I was enough, I was obviously a real catch and my bruised self worth was validated.
I would maintain friendships with men in relationships that were a little too close to respect the terms of their relationship agreements. I played the really good friend who was always there to listen to the relationship problems then eagerly offered my “advice”- advice to benefit me and my ego’s desires. I gave very little if any consideration to the woman in the relationship with the person I was scoping. She didn’t matter to me. I turned my back on my sisters.
I made my ‘needs’ more important than the other hearts involved.
I broke trust.
I was dishonest.
My only intention was to get what I wanted at whatever cost.
Then I woke up.
Something in me shifted and I wanted more from myself and for my life. I wanted to learn what it meant to live in integrity. I wanted to learn what it meant to live on purpose. I knew enough back then that I would have to stop behaving this way to have the relationship and life I was deeply desiring. What I didn’t have access to was the essential healing ingredients- compassion and forgiveness.
Moving to Vancouver began a 5 year journey of understanding and developing my capacity for compassion and forgiveness. I practiced living on purpose and creating relationships in alignment and in integrity. When my partner and the other woman did what they did, it activated all of the unhealed wounds of my past. The shadow of my past behaviour was still unforgiven and reeking havoc on my present capacity for happiness. I was still living with the heavy heavy impact of my past unconscious life.
Usher in the compassion
It was through her, I was given an opportunity to identify all the suppressed junk I had been holding onto. The mirror of her behaviour also enabled me to wrap my past actions in compassion and love and set myself free- something I had not yet been capable of doing.
During this year long process of healing I’ve had to remind myself time and time again nothing I perceive about someone else is ever about them- it’s about me.
Through her, my awareness was directed to all the shadow wounds deeply buried within my unconscious mind. This situation happened at the exact point in time that I was capable of handling it. All of my “stuff” came up for review when it did was because I was in a place in my development and soul journey where I had the awareness and tools to move forward effectively.
This year I proved to myself how capable and willing I am at embracing my wounds, healing my perceptions and setting myself free.
We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. We all have done things we wish we could have done differently. If we hold onto them and make ourselves wrong until we leave this planet, we rob ourselves of the genuine happiness and possibility our lives hold.
When we learn from our behaviour and make conscious changes to become more respectful, more aware, more compassionate, more kind, more on purpose, more aligned with integrity and more loving- we have learned what that experience was meant to teach us. Then we can set it free. We keep the wisdom of the lesson and release the pain.
Making yourself wrong and others wrong until the end of time does no one any good. In fact it robs the world of your brilliance. This brilliance explodes into the world in the vehicle called your vibrance. Your vibrance is enhanced when you are happy, when you have released the weight of your “mistakes” and forgiven people who made their own mistakes. When you are living on purpose your brilliance inspires the world.
It hasn’t been easy doing this work and forgiving all that has happened but it sure as heck has been worth it. Without her and all that happened I wouldn’t have developed Radical Self Love, I wouldn’t have this beautiful community to share with, I wouldn’t have uncovered and activated my purpose and potential. Without her I wouldn’t have done the inner work required to be in alignment with the relationship I desired so deeply and without her I wouldn’t have the relationship I do.
After I released myself from my past what I can see is I have a lot to thank her for. My life is beautiful, amazing, aligned and abundant because of her and all that happened. To be here in this head and heart space, a year later is a pretty incredible feat. It is through this experience I now have the honour to work with women in healing their blocks to love and finding their authentic relationship alignment and that my friends freaking lights me up!!!
You and only you have the capacity to set yourself free. You deserve happiness. You are worthy of success. You are so deserving of love, freedom and happiness. Be brave and do the most challenging and rewarding work of all: looking within.
Look, see, understand and love it all.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
If you are ready to learn to love you check out our RSL 30 Day Program to get started on building the best relationship of your life- the one with YOU!
A few weeks ago I was asked if I would release my music to be used on a documentary film.
I’ve never officially recorded any of my recent (in the last 5 years) original tunes in a professional studio.
Prior to moving to Van I was in a band and did quite a bit of recording on the regular. I had a home studio with my former partner and I was able to hop in the studio any time I wanted.
Since moving to Van I re-directed my focus and began building my business and my new life. Music has always be a strong aspect in my journey but since moving five years ago it was no longer the dominant focus of my attention. I took the pressure off myself to “force” something to happen. I allowed myself to relax and trust that if music was meant to be a part of my journey going forward it would find a way.
And so it did.
In 2012 I embarked on a year long music challenge for myself. I decided that for an entire year I would learn one new chord on guitar every month and with that new chord write an original song and post it on Youtube. Out of that experience I deeply strengthened my skills as a guitar player and as a songwriter, AND…
It is those songs which were scouted for the documentary.
So now it is time to get back into the music studio and record a couple of them for use on the film- and I am stoked. I absolutely love being in the studio and recording music is one of my favourite aspects of being a musician.
My intention is within the next year to have recorded a series of my lovey/relationshipy/self lovey tunes to create the official RSL soundtrack for emotional healing and relationship manifestation.
Until then these are the songs I have selected to be used in the film. Have a listen and let me know which one is your favourite and the one you would like to see in the documentary!!!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
As an intuitive being I am super keen on using numerology in just about any way I can.
When it comes to relationships there is one particular way in which I find it very helpful. The personal year cycle. This is done by adding the date of birth, with the month of birth with the current year and reducing to a single digit.
For example my birthday is July 27th so I figure out my year cycle by adding all the numbers together like this:
My birth day is 27. I add both numbers together to get my first single digit: 2+7=9
Next I add 9 (day) + 7 (month I was born)= 16
16 reduced to a single digit is: 1+6=7
The I add in the next number which is the first number of the current year (2): 7+ 2= 9
Add in the next number of the current year (1): 9+1= 10
Reduce this number to a single digit: 1+0=1
Finally add in the final number of the current year (4):1+4= 5
My current year cycle is 5.
Knowing this I can prepare myself for the significant lessons of 5 this year which are change, movement and freedom. I use this website for a more in depth read out of each cycle.
Then I do the same process for my partner to see what year cycle he’s in. This gives me access into understanding what challenges, growth and expansion await him in his year ahead.
Knowing this information allows me to operate at a higher level of awareness. First I can prep my partner for what may be coming down the pipeline for me. For example I knew that a year 5 brings massive change, lessons in freedom and flexibility and movement. At the start of the year I shared with him that this year for me would likely be full of experiences where I would be tested to learn and understand the true meaning of change, flexibility and freedom in my life. Simply put there would likely be a lot of change to experience.
To know this about myself helps me to be more responsible about my life and what we will likely face together as a couple.
Knowing his year cycle also gives me the opportunity to be the type of partner who will support his soul lessons for that particular year. For example my partner is in a 9 year, meaning this year is all about endings, completion and wrapping up an entire 9 year cycle of lessons and growth. Knowing this I can gently direct him into completing on certain areas of life, leaving old patterns behind and above all else not forcing new things to happen right now. There is a huge opening and serge of new life in a year 1 cycle and to push for things to happen in a 9 year only leads to upset and frustration.
I also use numerology to gauge the compatibility between people. I personally believe everyone has the capability to be compatible with one another, however some relationships are going to be more free flowing than others. The way we increase the flow of compatibility is through understanding the information in a numerology chart.
I want to know what the soul urge of my partner is since this number influence will be the driving force behind almost everything he does. Having insight into his life path lets me see what the main themes of his life will be. Knowing the characteristics of his outward personality number lets me see who he becomes when in a community setting (out in the public eye).
There are so many extensive ways to utilize numerology within the relationship. The best use is always going to be for your own self discovery of YOU. The more you know how you are, the ways in which you function, what your areas of strength are, what your areas of challenge or growth are, you begin to return to the remembrance of your wholeness. A person who is in alignment with their wholeness and aware of their divine nature is a pretty sweet individual to partner up with simply because they are tuned into the power of love.
People often use these tools as a way of only understanding the other person better. That is all fine and dandy, it’s great to have positive insight and guidance on what could make the dynamic most optimal, but it is so so so important that you remain focused on using this tool to deeply understand yourself on a authentic level.
When you know who you are and what you stand for being in a relationship transcends into a whole new level of connectivity, relatedness and possibility.
When beginning to explore the world of numerology starting with a basic awareness of your year cycle and what is likely in store will support you in being your best version, embracing the soul lessons, passing the spiritual tests and rocking the main lessons of the cycle with as much ease, grace and positivity possible!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Today I got triggered in a big time way.
Inside of this triggering breakdown I had the chance to reach out and ask for support from my partner.
As soon as the trigger was activated, instead of letting it fester, I asked for support and if I could clear something with him that was activating an experience of upset and stress within me. Of course he said yes- he is incredible that way.
We dialogued for about 20 minutes while I cleared what I needed and gave him the stage to contribute his perspective and coaching my way. I let it in and found some peace around my challenge.
Then we headed out to adventure and find a new coffee shop to work in.
When we arrived at the coffee shop we continued our conversation and explored the deeper lessons and reasons why I was so triggered and upset. Inside of this very vulnerable exploration I was overwhelmed with emotion and I teared up.
I cried in the coffee shop
And it was incredibly freeing.
It was a testament to how far I’ve come along my journey. In a big time way I was able to be completely present to what was going on with me and not give a shit about where I was or the fact being gently emotional in public might make me “look bad” to anyone watching.
It didn’t matter because for one of the first times in my life, the exploration and expression of my wellbeing no longer dependant on the level of comfort people around me. My healing and gentle release was top priority. I allowed myself to completely be in my experience without stuffing it down or pretending I wasn’t hurting. I gave myself the freedom to just BE.
Years ago I wouldn’t have been caught ever showing emotion in public never mind being vulnerable enough to allow someone into the most intimately sacred parts of myself and courageously outing my insecurities. I would have shut it down immediately and saved it for a more “acceptable” time and place- which in all honesty meant I just wouldn’t deal with it.
This RSL journey has supported me in accessing deep and profound levels of self acceptance through my ever growing understanding and application of self love. My free self expression allowed me to constructively clear what needed to be let go of and created the space for deeper intimacy and connection between my partner and I.
I acknowledge my partner for the strength to hold space for me today and within that space anchor in more acceptance, compassion and connection.
I acknowledge myself for the courage it took to be boldly honest and deal with something immediately so that I could find a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness and self expression.
Passing a spiritual test with grace and compassion = levelling up to the next stage of greatness
Crying and the most raw and authentic self expression in the moment = freedom. Beautiful, pure freedom.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Gratitude is one of the major foundational elements of any Radical Self Love practice and it is such a pivotal component of our healing, growth and positive evolution.
This video was recommended to me by one of my dear friends and fellow RSL member. During our high vibing chat about meditation and the power of gratitude and she shared that this video really left a positive impression and impact on her heart.
Sometimes in this world we need a little extra encouragement or evidence to nudge us in the direction of implementing change. This video is a amazing illustration of the basic science behind the practice of gratitude.
This little experiment warmed my heart to watch and reminded me just how powerful gratitude is and how the expression and sharing of our gratitude has the potential to ripple out massive inspiration and activate love in the hearts of the people we share with.
Share your love, express your gratitude- it will make you happier, science says so after all 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Holy smokes today is the final 30 day mark lovers!
In these final 30 days I intend to optimize this time together and write about the things YOU really want me to cover. This is my first of many gifts to you all! In the coming months after this blogging project wraps up I will be transitioning to a video blog format as well as weekly blogs over on my website and I would love to get into the habit of writing content based on our communities questions and interests.
So I have an ask of you.
If there is a specific topic you would like me to cover in these next 30 days let me know. Anything related to radical self love, self care, relationships, breakups, makeups, forgiveness, boundaries, trusting, healing infidelity, signs from the Universe, ego, love, fear, patience, anything about our 30 Day Program, RSL courses or RSL coaching we offer- ask away!
Send me a quick email at firstname.lastname@example.org and give me a short heads up on your RSL or Relationship related questions and the first 30 people to write me I will be answering their questions directly on the blog for the final month. Every submission question will be kept anonymous to respect privacy of each of you love faces.
Everyone who submits a question will receive a direct response from me confirming we received the question and approximately the date your question will be addressed on the blog. If we end up with more than 30 questions we will find alternative creative ways to answer the questions to benefit you and the community- if you are one of those submissions I will let you know what to expect from us!
What I love about this style of sharing is, if one of you is having a challenge with anything self love, self care or relationship based, guaranteed there are many others dealing with a similar challenge. When you speak your truth and ask for what you need you give others permission to do the same and you also contribute in a massive way to the community as a whole.
I receive a lot of questions 1-1 and it makes sense to me to frame the inquiries in such a way where all of us can benefit from the insights, wisdom and coaching. Really excited to step it up a notch for the final stretch! I am so very grateful for each and every one of you lovers who have joined me in co-creating this community. This past year of blogging and radical self love adventures has been pretty wild and deeply transformative and this gift one of the best ways I can illustrate my gratitude and give a massive THANK YOU for all of the support and love!
Send me your questions loves and lets rock these final 30 Days together in a HUGE way! xo (email@example.com)
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
I love my girlfriends. I am seriously so blessed that I have the type of friends who I can have super engaging and meaningful conversations with and open to new realms of clarity, wisdom and potential inside our gab-fests. However my life wasn’t always this way. In high school and my early 20’s I was a gossip factory- hard to believe now- but thats the reality of of what my life used to look like.
I used to be a big time bitch. The bitchiest of the bitchy and the one you could always count on to have the lastest dirt on anyone and anything- AND I was miserable. My life lacked depth, connection and most of all love.
In my early twenties after leaving a very toxic relationship I snapped back into reality. I looked at my life that was far from positive and inspiring and I knew I had to make a change. I had to be different if I wanted things to be different. And so my path of personal development and growth began. Dropping gossip was something that intuitively I just knew I had to do. I couldn’t keep talking crap and expecting to have positive relationships or experiences. So I began the process of healing my addiction to gossip.
I learned a long time ago that hopping off the gossip train was a foundational piece in my healing and in my experience of being happy. What I didn’t realize that was shifting this majorly toxic habit would have such incredible benefits on my life.
Top 7 Benefits of Giving Up Gossip and Hopping on the High Vibe Train
1. I feel better.
Not just a little better but A LOT better, about myself, about my body, about my relationships, about my career, about my LIFE. Cutting out the drama and the focusing on the positive aspects of people enabled me to begin to notice the more positive aspects about myself. When I could more easily focus on the positive aspects I was happy. As my happiness grew I found myself healthier, more connected to my passions, in really amazing relationships and living a life on purpose.
2. I stopped worrying everyone had ulterior motives.
My past inauthenticity and two-facedness cause a pretty significant imprint on my unconscious mind. Because I was talking smack about people behind their backs I immediately projected that everyone was doing the same to me. Living in this constant state of worry and anxiety was just plain shitty. When I cut the gossiping out of my life my faith and trust in others began to increase. Because I was being authentic, honest, real and kind I began to unconsciously build the belief that people are innately good, they can be trusted.
3. I learned the impact of being intentional.
Thinking before I said something. Becoming very tuned into my judgements of myself and others. Seeing the positive ripples that certain behaviours caused. All of these were results of becoming more intentional with what I was saying, how I was saying it, to whom I was saying it to. I began to understand that when I consciously chose to speak the best about people I would get more of what I praised. Likewise when I had an “issue” with someone going directly to the source always was the most effective way to resolve the misunderstanding or problem.
4. I realized the power of talking to people instead of about them.
We all have shit, we all know we have shit and the last thing we need to be doing in a world where there is already a tonne of crap flying is to add to it by talking about other people and not to them. When we talk about people we rip them off of the power to contribute their perspectives, reasons and intentions behind what they did/said. By behaving this way we strengthen the vibration of assumptions and begin to create an unreal and totally falsified version of what actually happened. By talking to people we give them the honor and respect to explain their behaviour and create the wonderful world of possibility and resolution. Inside of this course of action we activate the vibrations and consciousness of love.
5. I gained a profound sense of acceptance and love.
Underneath it all we all want to be loved and accepted. Gossiping is a dysfunctional means to having the need for connection fulfilled. It gives us a false sense of power, it provides the illusion of connection and rapport and it creates a massive divide between you and others but also between you and love. People who gossip are looking for the “buy in” of others to agree with them, take their side and in some twisted way create a sense of loyalty through fear. The ironic thing about gossip is it does the opposite. It creates separation and it removes us from authentic connection and the true experience of love. Hopping off the gossip train is the quickest way to actually create a life where you feel loved and accepted because you are being loving and accepting.
6. I remembered a deep and profound truth about humanity.
Only hurt people hurt people. People who gossip do so to cover up or divert attention from the pain they feel. When we are truly connected to love, loving ourselves and practicing kindness we actually can’t hurt other people- it’s energetically not possible. It is only when we are hurting can we hurt another. What we say about anyone else is a projection about something within ourselves that we can’t quite be with and what we give attention to grows. Meaning by pointing out the “flaws” in someone else we are strengthening the same issues inside of ourselves that we can’t be with. It’s the ultimate in deflection. Anytime we avoid looking at ourselves it is often because it is painful and there is some level of fear- which is always a call for more love. Gossip in a big way is a massive call for healing and compassion.
7. It freed up a lot of my energy for other more productive and creative pursuits.
Because gossip is such a low vibrational activity it sucks us dry of any inspiration to create. This has a massive impact if you want to actually make something of yourself in this world. Talking about everyone else’s business is a massive time waster and energy sucker. When you cut it out you have a tonne of free time and your energy is clearer and brighter- which is essential when creating anything. The time and energy that is freed up when dropping the gossip game leads you towards more authentic connections where you can begin to dive into the depth of who you truly are and have a loving and supportive community to nurture that growth.
If we are truly committed to a life of greatness, love and ultimate potential we must release the things that hold us back and hold us down. Gossip is one of those epicly toxic and incredibly heavy weights that holds us back from our potential and holds us far away from love. A foundational key in the world of self love is to be loving towards yourself. When you are loving towards yourself you are just naturally kind and gentle towards the people in your life. A life off the gossip train is a life full of depth, connectivity, authenticity, happiness and most important a life filled with love.
Jump off the gossip train and step into the high vibes that make up an incredible life!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!