Bench These 3 Naughty Holiday Relationship Habits For An Amazing Season

***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading

A Radically Loving Approach To Handling Drama Queens and Haters- Day 213: 365 Radical Self Love Project

What someone says about you says more about them than it does about you.

It’s inevitable when working in the public eye there are bound to be people who just gotta hate and drum up drama no matter what.

I first will preface this with a mad acknowledgement that in 213 days of spreading the love today was the first and only experience of our team at RSL receiving a non-supportive and hate filled message. This means that 212 Days of running this community have been filled with generous support, kindness, possibility and juicy amazing love and that dear lovers is absolutely incredible.

I know all to well the spirit of transformation and evolution. With it comes the shadow side of jelousy, anger, envy and hate. These are all a function of a fear based consciousness. No need on our part to judge in fact it is a call for us all to love more.

I can’t think of a more perfect day for this to happen. A day of celebration of the great MLK Jr where we are reminded of the power of love.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only LOVE can do that”.

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The only way to truly eradicate fear is to starve it of energy.

What we give our attention to grows. So if we get caught up in someone’s drama, their ego-ic illusion and their hate filled heart- we activate those energies with us. When we activate them we open the space to activate this consciousness in others.

The only answer is to choose love

Dealing with the Drama

beautifuAs children we learned if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.

This is the absolute best course of action when dealing with someone who is completely off the charts and more interested in spewing their unhappiness onto others and more committed to their misery than anything else.

Here is the thing we can only support those who are willing to be supported. Not everyone is ready to have the fullness of love, happiness and bliss enter into their experience. We have to release our agendas of what we want for them, even if it is an agenda of peace, blessings and love, and let them go through what they need to.

1350Keep in mind when dealing with haters or drama queens of any kind they most likely have not learned any other way to get attention or get their needs met. Again, this is not for you to fix. They have to come into this awareness on their own, in their own time and transform it for themselves.

 

imagesFinally when dealing with drama, if you are going to hold anything, hold the space of love. Pray for them. Send love to them- and mean it. I’ve come to learn that only hurt people hurt people. I know someones fear based actions are actually nothing personal. When people are seeking conflict externally they are doing so to match the internal conflict they are experiencing. In other words they are already deeply suffering. As messengers of love we need not add and compound their experience of conflict and suffering. Knowing this we can see them through the lens of compassion and hold the best possible outcome in our hearts for them.

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Healing the Haters One Heart Mist At A Time

One of my favourite methods for this (and this works with anyone whom you experience a challenge with) is a visualization and forgiveness exercise.

I get into a comfy seated position, grab some high vibin crystals, close my eyes and take a couple deep cycles of breath.

I then visualize the person who is in need of love.

I imagine a pink love mist (I call this heart misting) emanate from my chest and surround  their entire body.

From there I look at them face to face, look into their eyes, say their name and repeat this:

My wish for you is peace

My wish for you is love

My wish for you is freedom from all suffering

There is only love between us.

I release you from the role you have played for me. You are free to go in peace. May you always be blessed with the abundance of the Universe and the presence of love. I forgive you and I release you.

Then I call on my Angels (Arch Angel Michael) to cut the energetic chords between us and seal them with love.

I close it by repeating their name again and saying you are peace, you are forgiven, you are love, you are blessed.

It’s really that simple.

You are far too precious as a messenger of love and light to invest your energies in these directions. Stay true to you and always remember it is an act of love for you to say no.

Just because you believe in love, self love and compassion does not mean to have to tolerate and “take” someone’s drama. It means the opposite. It often means closing the door, saying goodbye and wishing them well from afar.

Keep those vibes high, sparkly and full of heart misty goodness.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Looking for Love? How Keeping the Peace and Being an Example of Love Brings Love Forth- Day 99: 365 Radical Self Love Project

How others treat you is their karma- how you react is yours.

kelsey grant radical self loveIn life we are constantly being tested. Moment to moment we a presented with situations, people and circumstances which will either trigger us into familiar destructive ways of being or call us to be greater versions of who we know ourselves to be.

Even though this may be hard for our ego’s to understand, we actually have ZERO control over anyone else. Each human being is the master of their own domain. The quest of human interaction is to learn how to harmoniously interact and accept each persons individual paradigm of the world while maintaining your personal boundaries and self respect. This is the dance of human interaction. We can always find ways in which to respect others and respect ourselves at the same time.

Kelsey grant radical self loveThe times of heated emotion are our opportunities to do something different and pass the test from the universe. For example, lets say you are wanting to attract an incredible loving partner. Once the declaration of intent is set the Universe conspires with you to bring it forth. To prepare for such a intensely transparent and intimate connection, our ways of being have to be spiffed up (If there was no fine tuning to be had within you your intention would already be manifest since you would be in vibrational alignment with it). The simple fact of not having that which you seek simply says there is some inner work to be done to get into alignment. Part of this inner work is passing multiple seemingly unrelated “tests” from the Universe. These tests fine tune our character, raise our awareness, strengthen our areas of growth and call us to learn how to be better in every way, shape and form. So if we say we want love and amazing relationships but then loose our shit on a total stranger we miss the opportunity to demonstrate we are in alignment with that which we seek. What if I told you the interaction with the stranger has everything to do with attracting the love you want? Consider this quote: “by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future”. Everything is interconnected.

Keep the peace, stay grounded in love and love will come to you

Every time we are reactive, retaliate, seek revenge and are abrasive towards others, it doesn’t matter who these people are, we cast ripples out into the universe and place our order for more experiences of that nature. When we are kind and loving to others we cast ripples for more of those experiences in our future. If we truly want the dreams, love and relationships we desire we have to learn to be love even in the face of no agreement- meaning when people are being jerks you are able to put your ego aside and respond from a place of calmness and love.

Dear drama i'm breaking up with youRemember how people treat you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how they really feel about themselves, so don’t take their drama personally. Give them the gift and comfort of a loving and kind response. If they choose to shift awesome, if they don’t you have at least put forward the energy of positivity and love which is of great service to our human family. These seemingly small gestures of love, peace and kindness are your key to attracting the love and relationships you want, so the next time you are tempted to react in the same familiar fashion take a step back, take a deep breath and ask yourself: “What would love do”. Then simply act on the guidance you receive.

*****Disclaimer*****

Your ego is not going to like this one bit. It will want to scream, fight, be right, make others wrong, justify, manipulate and judge judge, judge. Be aware it will attempt to sideswipe your progress with it’s trickery. As the saying goes- knowledge is power- now that you know and your awareness has been heightened to the ego’s ways you can consciously choose to behave and respond differently.

Remember to react is to allow the ego to run the show and to respond is activating the heart and letting love lead. Which are you going to choose?

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels