***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading
Holy shitballs I did it!!!
Successfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.
- I considered writing the highlights of the year.
- I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
- I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
- I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
- I considered just writing another self love lesson.
- I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.
All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.
To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.
Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.
Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love
In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.
But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.
That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.
Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.
My new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.
In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.
As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.
This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.
I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.
This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.
In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!
A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE
First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.
For more details drop me an email at email@example.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).
Gift # 3:
Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:
My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00
To register for the 5 pack email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack
30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).
To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at email@example.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift
I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!
I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉
So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
A Smile Can Change Everything Every time you radiate happiness you activate those same vibrations in anyone and everyone who crosses your path. True story. Not everyone who comes into contact with this invisible feel good energy will become instantly … Continue reading
There is a general vibe floating through the air these days in the RSL community.
Stories of breakups, heartache and intense emotional upheaval seem to be subtly crossing my path lately. I sure have been through my fare share of all of these this past year and a half I wanted to shed some inspired light on navigating this tender territory from a place of self love.
3 Self Loving Steps To Gracefully Navigate Emotional Storms
1. Give yourself permission to be feeling what you are feeling.
It’s actually ok to be experiencing whatever you are. Happy, sad, upset, angry- whatever has made it’s presence known in your experience, is there for a reason. If we avoid, deny or try to stuff down this “stuff” it just builds more momentum and comes bursting out uncontrollably at a later date. Giving ourselves permission to be is one of the most freeing things we can ever do for our healing, growth and spiritual evolution.
A wonderful RSL mantra: “I give myself permission to be human and experience all emotions knowing each serves a divine and perfect purpose.”
2. Come into full acceptance of your emotions when they arise.
A really magical thing happens when we come into acceptance- diffusion. When we give ourselves permission (step 1) then accept the emotional experience we are having as its happening- the duration of the upset is significantly reduced. Now all emotional upheavals and storms will be unique and some may last longer than others and that’s totally ok. The point is to remind yourself it is perfectly ok to be experiencing what you are.
A really great RSL mantra I use when emotions arise is this: “At this present moment I am having an experience of (I then identify the experience as best I can- anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness- whatever it is give it a name), it is ok that I am having this experience as having it means I am growing and expanding who I am, I accept this experience and trust I will receive the value of what it is here to teach me.” Then…
3. Allow, allow, allow.
Your emotions need an avenue to clear themselves, period. It is at this stage where you also encounter the divine assignment of practicing personal responsibility. Just because you’re having an emotional storm doesn’t mean everyone around you needs to be pulled into the emotional hurricane too. Find responsible and respectful (to yourself and others) outlets to allow the emotion to pass. Like all storms it will and the more you resist it the longer and more intense it will get.
If I am in a situation where the clearing will negatively impact another I make a promise and pact with myself to allow the emotion passage to happen at a specific time and place in the very near future- then keep my word to myself. If I am in a space where no one will be negatively impacted I just allow the clearing to happen in the moment. To consciously make this distinction will require self awareness and self loving discipline, which in all honesty just takes a bit of practice to polish.
Some of the things I do to allow the clearing:
- Crying (I’m a Cancer and this is the most effective method for me)
- High intensity exercise
- Screaming into a pillow
- Punching a pillow or punching bag
- Lions breath
- Real talk journalling
- Verbal clearing (done only in a professional context with a coach)
- And my ultimate fav, because it inevitably cracks me up is: stomping around and over dramatizing- think 2 year old temper tantrum 😉
All of these prove to be quite effective and in my allowing of the emotion to pass through, without additional internal judgement (“Oh I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t be feeling this”) I am able to return to a state of clarity and calmness relatively quickly- in the grand scheme of things.
Part of the Radical Self Love journey is learning how to be ok with all aspects of your human experience. Learning how to bless these types of “negative” experiences and extract the gold always lying deep within, has certainly been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my Radical Self Love journey to date.
Give yourself permission, own the experience, allow the storm to fill you up and then allow it to pass on through. What you will begin to notice, with regular practice is, the duration and intensity of each emotional upheaval lightens as you become stronger in your application of these three graceful steps.
When we spend less time, energy and emotion in the stormy storms we free ourselves up to play and radiate in the blissful moments and experiences our lives are meant to bring.
Where ever you are is perfect, what ever you’re feeling is perfect, you are perfect just as you are. Remember that.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
I’m so jazzed to be a part of the Stillness Project’s launch and share one of my most favourite meditation teachers with you, Tom Cronin. Tom’s intention with the Stillness Project is to bring together one million people to sit in collective stillness and activate their bliss during a live global meditation event!!! Super rad!
I’m a huge fan of meditation and I regularly speak about how vitally important meditation is in maintaining a solid self love practice. However, a lot of peeps in our tribe have mentioned they are first time meditators and don’t have a lot of time to spare.
I totally get that.
When I first started meditating the thought of sitting in silence for an undetermined amount of time freaked me out. Not only was my mind a complete circus, my life was super busy and back then investing 20-30 minutes a day into sitting in stillness seemed absurd and completely unrealistic.
Not having enough time is such a common myth when it comes to meditating that my dear friend Tom Cronin created this awesome video to explain his 72/20 Method. In this free video Tom gets right into the specifics of his technique to support all of you lovers who want to meditate but can’t find the time.
I know I’m always looking for ways to become more effective with my time, be more productive and just feel great during my day and this meditation technique facilitates all those yummy benefits into my life. Even if you think you can’t meditate this video will help you move through any inner blocks of resistence and guide you to the land of inner bliss. Self love is the journey of cultivating more of these blissful moments by removing our blocks to love. Meditation is a beautiful bridge to allow more love and greatness in.
Tom’s free video explains everything click the link below to access the vid:
CLICK HERE to Discover the 72/20 Method now
I wish I had known Tom back in the day when I was struggling to understand and begin my meditation practice, luckily for all you lovers you can take full advantage of his super effective and powerful techniques for meditation beginners and ease into the world of bliss and inner calm.
His technique is so powerful that when practiced it actually creates an abundance of time and space in your day nearly instantly, something I believe we could all benefit from.
If you are interested in joining our global community and participating in a pretty kick ass event, your invitation to join the Stillness Project awaits ya at the end of the video 🙂 I’m so excited about the possibility of one million peeps meditating in stillness at once. One million people connected to their truth, allowing love in and radiating that bliss out into the world has the potential to activate some pretty serious global healing, and that dear friends is a pretty epic thing!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Finding Freedom in the shadows
Whatever the name, we all have it. The elements of our personality with less than positive intentions. It is when we are living through our shadow we have a higher tendency to get triggered. Triggered by another person, circumstances in life and scenarios we are faced with.
Your shadow is one of the greatest access points to your highest potential if you allow this unfolding to take place. Embracing the lessons the shadow leads us towards, encourages the harnessing of energy and activation of our awareness for the highest good and potential for all involved.
What you can’t be with about another, leads you towards a deeper awareness of yourself.
Everything we can’t be with, everything we reject, resist or flat out dislike about someone or something outside of ourselves will always lead us to a greater understanding to what is going on inside ourselves on a deep deep level.
We can only identify that which exists already inside us and we are only activated or triggered by anything outside of ourselves, when an aspect of our own experience we have rejected and can’t be with- is still lying dormant in our unconscious.
How the “other woman” was key for my self awareness and deep deep healing.
There are a lot of things I could say about the woman with whom my partner broke our relationship agreement with and the only thing worth sharing is the truth.
It was really easy for me to hate her. It was really easy for me to be angry at her. It was really easy for me to make her wrong for everything. It was really easy for me to find fault in everything she did and everything she continues to do.
What wasn’t easy was coming to terms with one of my greatest spiritual lessons: Everything I despised about her, were actually elements of myself I had left unhealed and unattended. What a massive wake up call.
My healing massively expanded when I started to use her reflection or more accurately my perception of her, for my own self discovery. Everything I couldn’t stand about her I took very close notice of- because it was actually mirroring what I couldn’t be with about myself.
I had to come to terms with the fact I had done the very same things I perceived she did- earlier in my life. I had repeated these disempowered behaviours multiple times during my life and I was still harbouring resentment and regret about it. I was withholding forgiveness towards myself.
Forgiving My Past
In my early 20’s I pursued men who were unavailable, men who were dating other people and I made it my game to manipulate them out of their relationships. In some shadowy twisted way when I “won” them away from their partners I made it mean I was enough, I was obviously a real catch and my bruised self worth was validated.
I would maintain friendships with men in relationships that were a little too close to respect the terms of their relationship agreements. I played the really good friend who was always there to listen to the relationship problems then eagerly offered my “advice”- advice to benefit me and my ego’s desires. I gave very little if any consideration to the woman in the relationship with the person I was scoping. She didn’t matter to me. I turned my back on my sisters.
I made my ‘needs’ more important than the other hearts involved.
I broke trust.
I was dishonest.
My only intention was to get what I wanted at whatever cost.
Then I woke up.
Something in me shifted and I wanted more from myself and for my life. I wanted to learn what it meant to live in integrity. I wanted to learn what it meant to live on purpose. I knew enough back then that I would have to stop behaving this way to have the relationship and life I was deeply desiring. What I didn’t have access to was the essential healing ingredients- compassion and forgiveness.
Moving to Vancouver began a 5 year journey of understanding and developing my capacity for compassion and forgiveness. I practiced living on purpose and creating relationships in alignment and in integrity. When my partner and the other woman did what they did, it activated all of the unhealed wounds of my past. The shadow of my past behaviour was still unforgiven and reeking havoc on my present capacity for happiness. I was still living with the heavy heavy impact of my past unconscious life.
Usher in the compassion
It was through her, I was given an opportunity to identify all the suppressed junk I had been holding onto. The mirror of her behaviour also enabled me to wrap my past actions in compassion and love and set myself free- something I had not yet been capable of doing.
During this year long process of healing I’ve had to remind myself time and time again nothing I perceive about someone else is ever about them- it’s about me.
Through her, my awareness was directed to all the shadow wounds deeply buried within my unconscious mind. This situation happened at the exact point in time that I was capable of handling it. All of my “stuff” came up for review when it did was because I was in a place in my development and soul journey where I had the awareness and tools to move forward effectively.
This year I proved to myself how capable and willing I am at embracing my wounds, healing my perceptions and setting myself free.
We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. We all have done things we wish we could have done differently. If we hold onto them and make ourselves wrong until we leave this planet, we rob ourselves of the genuine happiness and possibility our lives hold.
When we learn from our behaviour and make conscious changes to become more respectful, more aware, more compassionate, more kind, more on purpose, more aligned with integrity and more loving- we have learned what that experience was meant to teach us. Then we can set it free. We keep the wisdom of the lesson and release the pain.
Making yourself wrong and others wrong until the end of time does no one any good. In fact it robs the world of your brilliance. This brilliance explodes into the world in the vehicle called your vibrance. Your vibrance is enhanced when you are happy, when you have released the weight of your “mistakes” and forgiven people who made their own mistakes. When you are living on purpose your brilliance inspires the world.
It hasn’t been easy doing this work and forgiving all that has happened but it sure as heck has been worth it. Without her and all that happened I wouldn’t have developed Radical Self Love, I wouldn’t have this beautiful community to share with, I wouldn’t have uncovered and activated my purpose and potential. Without her I wouldn’t have done the inner work required to be in alignment with the relationship I desired so deeply and without her I wouldn’t have the relationship I do.
After I released myself from my past what I can see is I have a lot to thank her for. My life is beautiful, amazing, aligned and abundant because of her and all that happened. To be here in this head and heart space, a year later is a pretty incredible feat. It is through this experience I now have the honour to work with women in healing their blocks to love and finding their authentic relationship alignment and that my friends freaking lights me up!!!
You and only you have the capacity to set yourself free. You deserve happiness. You are worthy of success. You are so deserving of love, freedom and happiness. Be brave and do the most challenging and rewarding work of all: looking within.
Look, see, understand and love it all.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
If you are ready to learn to love you check out our RSL 30 Day Program to get started on building the best relationship of your life- the one with YOU!
Today I got triggered in a big time way.
Inside of this triggering breakdown I had the chance to reach out and ask for support from my partner.
As soon as the trigger was activated, instead of letting it fester, I asked for support and if I could clear something with him that was activating an experience of upset and stress within me. Of course he said yes- he is incredible that way.
We dialogued for about 20 minutes while I cleared what I needed and gave him the stage to contribute his perspective and coaching my way. I let it in and found some peace around my challenge.
Then we headed out to adventure and find a new coffee shop to work in.
When we arrived at the coffee shop we continued our conversation and explored the deeper lessons and reasons why I was so triggered and upset. Inside of this very vulnerable exploration I was overwhelmed with emotion and I teared up.
I cried in the coffee shop
And it was incredibly freeing.
It was a testament to how far I’ve come along my journey. In a big time way I was able to be completely present to what was going on with me and not give a shit about where I was or the fact being gently emotional in public might make me “look bad” to anyone watching.
It didn’t matter because for one of the first times in my life, the exploration and expression of my wellbeing no longer dependant on the level of comfort people around me. My healing and gentle release was top priority. I allowed myself to completely be in my experience without stuffing it down or pretending I wasn’t hurting. I gave myself the freedom to just BE.
Years ago I wouldn’t have been caught ever showing emotion in public never mind being vulnerable enough to allow someone into the most intimately sacred parts of myself and courageously outing my insecurities. I would have shut it down immediately and saved it for a more “acceptable” time and place- which in all honesty meant I just wouldn’t deal with it.
This RSL journey has supported me in accessing deep and profound levels of self acceptance through my ever growing understanding and application of self love. My free self expression allowed me to constructively clear what needed to be let go of and created the space for deeper intimacy and connection between my partner and I.
I acknowledge my partner for the strength to hold space for me today and within that space anchor in more acceptance, compassion and connection.
I acknowledge myself for the courage it took to be boldly honest and deal with something immediately so that I could find a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness and self expression.
Passing a spiritual test with grace and compassion = levelling up to the next stage of greatness
Crying and the most raw and authentic self expression in the moment = freedom. Beautiful, pure freedom.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
It is no secret that the path of Radical Self Love calls us to examine ourselves, our beliefs and our patterns.
Often there is a defining moment in our lives when we are awoken from this unconsciousness and begin to question ourselves, our motivations, our patterns of behaviour and ultimately question who we are and why we are here.
As we begin to dive into the world of self reflection and discovery we begin to see how the functions of our ego have lead us into some less than desirable situations. The ego is rooted in fear and fear never leads us to the path of fulfillment and bliss.
If we truly desire to remember who we are and return to our natural state which is bliss we must consciously examine the behaviours and thoughts of an ego or fear based mind. Once examined we must begin to consciously question these behaviours and thoughts to honestly determine if they are truly serving our highest good. The final stage is choosing better high quality love based thoughts and establishing more empowering behaviours.
When tempted to act out old patterns of the ego here are three questions to bring yourself back to the vibe of possibility, potential and love:
1. What would love do right now?
2. Would love do what I’m about to do?
3. Would love say what I’m about to say?
Then the key is to LISTEN honestly to the answer your inner guidance will give you and act in accordance to this guidance.
Often old patterns are triggered anytime we feel vulnerable, open and our hearts are exposed. The work of RSL is designed to crack open the shells around your heart to open you up to the fullness of love and authentic connection. It is inevitable along this path that when we feel open and exposed the ego will do anything it can to shut down this opening and build the familiar fear walls right back up.
The only one who has the power to dissolve the walls around your heart is you. Dissolving these walls is essential to the manifestation of heart to heart connections with other human beings, to the manifestation of your dreams and potential and to the manifestation of your own self awareness which is the biggest gift of all.
The reason people avoid doing the work is because you can’t un-know something. When we learn these aspects about ourselves and our default ego settings, from that point forward each time the egoic patterns surface and we act on them it becomes a conscious choice. Most people don’t want to be honest and own that they are choosing to act out fears plan instead of their highest potential which is always rooted in love. The only way we can shift these patterns, thoughts and behaviours is through our conscious choice to change and choose love.
It is all up to you, are you open, willing and ready to choose love?
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
If you would like support in learning to choose love and say YES to your great potential join in on our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program!!
Holy smokes today is the final 30 day mark lovers!
In these final 30 days I intend to optimize this time together and write about the things YOU really want me to cover. This is my first of many gifts to you all! In the coming months after this blogging project wraps up I will be transitioning to a video blog format as well as weekly blogs over on my website and I would love to get into the habit of writing content based on our communities questions and interests.
So I have an ask of you.
If there is a specific topic you would like me to cover in these next 30 days let me know. Anything related to radical self love, self care, relationships, breakups, makeups, forgiveness, boundaries, trusting, healing infidelity, signs from the Universe, ego, love, fear, patience, anything about our 30 Day Program, RSL courses or RSL coaching we offer- ask away!
Send me a quick email at firstname.lastname@example.org and give me a short heads up on your RSL or Relationship related questions and the first 30 people to write me I will be answering their questions directly on the blog for the final month. Every submission question will be kept anonymous to respect privacy of each of you love faces.
Everyone who submits a question will receive a direct response from me confirming we received the question and approximately the date your question will be addressed on the blog. If we end up with more than 30 questions we will find alternative creative ways to answer the questions to benefit you and the community- if you are one of those submissions I will let you know what to expect from us!
What I love about this style of sharing is, if one of you is having a challenge with anything self love, self care or relationship based, guaranteed there are many others dealing with a similar challenge. When you speak your truth and ask for what you need you give others permission to do the same and you also contribute in a massive way to the community as a whole.
I receive a lot of questions 1-1 and it makes sense to me to frame the inquiries in such a way where all of us can benefit from the insights, wisdom and coaching. Really excited to step it up a notch for the final stretch! I am so very grateful for each and every one of you lovers who have joined me in co-creating this community. This past year of blogging and radical self love adventures has been pretty wild and deeply transformative and this gift one of the best ways I can illustrate my gratitude and give a massive THANK YOU for all of the support and love!
Send me your questions loves and lets rock these final 30 Days together in a HUGE way! xo (email@example.com)
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
I love my girlfriends. I am seriously so blessed that I have the type of friends who I can have super engaging and meaningful conversations with and open to new realms of clarity, wisdom and potential inside our gab-fests. However my life wasn’t always this way. In high school and my early 20’s I was a gossip factory- hard to believe now- but thats the reality of of what my life used to look like.
I used to be a big time bitch. The bitchiest of the bitchy and the one you could always count on to have the lastest dirt on anyone and anything- AND I was miserable. My life lacked depth, connection and most of all love.
In my early twenties after leaving a very toxic relationship I snapped back into reality. I looked at my life that was far from positive and inspiring and I knew I had to make a change. I had to be different if I wanted things to be different. And so my path of personal development and growth began. Dropping gossip was something that intuitively I just knew I had to do. I couldn’t keep talking crap and expecting to have positive relationships or experiences. So I began the process of healing my addiction to gossip.
I learned a long time ago that hopping off the gossip train was a foundational piece in my healing and in my experience of being happy. What I didn’t realize that was shifting this majorly toxic habit would have such incredible benefits on my life.
Top 7 Benefits of Giving Up Gossip and Hopping on the High Vibe Train
1. I feel better.
Not just a little better but A LOT better, about myself, about my body, about my relationships, about my career, about my LIFE. Cutting out the drama and the focusing on the positive aspects of people enabled me to begin to notice the more positive aspects about myself. When I could more easily focus on the positive aspects I was happy. As my happiness grew I found myself healthier, more connected to my passions, in really amazing relationships and living a life on purpose.
2. I stopped worrying everyone had ulterior motives.
My past inauthenticity and two-facedness cause a pretty significant imprint on my unconscious mind. Because I was talking smack about people behind their backs I immediately projected that everyone was doing the same to me. Living in this constant state of worry and anxiety was just plain shitty. When I cut the gossiping out of my life my faith and trust in others began to increase. Because I was being authentic, honest, real and kind I began to unconsciously build the belief that people are innately good, they can be trusted.
3. I learned the impact of being intentional.
Thinking before I said something. Becoming very tuned into my judgements of myself and others. Seeing the positive ripples that certain behaviours caused. All of these were results of becoming more intentional with what I was saying, how I was saying it, to whom I was saying it to. I began to understand that when I consciously chose to speak the best about people I would get more of what I praised. Likewise when I had an “issue” with someone going directly to the source always was the most effective way to resolve the misunderstanding or problem.
4. I realized the power of talking to people instead of about them.
We all have shit, we all know we have shit and the last thing we need to be doing in a world where there is already a tonne of crap flying is to add to it by talking about other people and not to them. When we talk about people we rip them off of the power to contribute their perspectives, reasons and intentions behind what they did/said. By behaving this way we strengthen the vibration of assumptions and begin to create an unreal and totally falsified version of what actually happened. By talking to people we give them the honor and respect to explain their behaviour and create the wonderful world of possibility and resolution. Inside of this course of action we activate the vibrations and consciousness of love.
5. I gained a profound sense of acceptance and love.
Underneath it all we all want to be loved and accepted. Gossiping is a dysfunctional means to having the need for connection fulfilled. It gives us a false sense of power, it provides the illusion of connection and rapport and it creates a massive divide between you and others but also between you and love. People who gossip are looking for the “buy in” of others to agree with them, take their side and in some twisted way create a sense of loyalty through fear. The ironic thing about gossip is it does the opposite. It creates separation and it removes us from authentic connection and the true experience of love. Hopping off the gossip train is the quickest way to actually create a life where you feel loved and accepted because you are being loving and accepting.
6. I remembered a deep and profound truth about humanity.
Only hurt people hurt people. People who gossip do so to cover up or divert attention from the pain they feel. When we are truly connected to love, loving ourselves and practicing kindness we actually can’t hurt other people- it’s energetically not possible. It is only when we are hurting can we hurt another. What we say about anyone else is a projection about something within ourselves that we can’t quite be with and what we give attention to grows. Meaning by pointing out the “flaws” in someone else we are strengthening the same issues inside of ourselves that we can’t be with. It’s the ultimate in deflection. Anytime we avoid looking at ourselves it is often because it is painful and there is some level of fear- which is always a call for more love. Gossip in a big way is a massive call for healing and compassion.
7. It freed up a lot of my energy for other more productive and creative pursuits.
Because gossip is such a low vibrational activity it sucks us dry of any inspiration to create. This has a massive impact if you want to actually make something of yourself in this world. Talking about everyone else’s business is a massive time waster and energy sucker. When you cut it out you have a tonne of free time and your energy is clearer and brighter- which is essential when creating anything. The time and energy that is freed up when dropping the gossip game leads you towards more authentic connections where you can begin to dive into the depth of who you truly are and have a loving and supportive community to nurture that growth.
If we are truly committed to a life of greatness, love and ultimate potential we must release the things that hold us back and hold us down. Gossip is one of those epicly toxic and incredibly heavy weights that holds us back from our potential and holds us far away from love. A foundational key in the world of self love is to be loving towards yourself. When you are loving towards yourself you are just naturally kind and gentle towards the people in your life. A life off the gossip train is a life full of depth, connectivity, authenticity, happiness and most important a life filled with love.
Jump off the gossip train and step into the high vibes that make up an incredible life!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!