***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading
Holy shitballs I did it!!!
Successfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.
- I considered writing the highlights of the year.
- I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
- I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
- I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
- I considered just writing another self love lesson.
- I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.
All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.
To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.
Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.
Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love
In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.
But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.
That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.
Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.
My new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.
In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.
As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.
This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.
I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.
This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.
In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!
A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook- Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE
First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.
For more details drop me an email at email@example.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).
Gift # 3:
Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:
My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00
To register for the 5 pack email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack
30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).
To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at email@example.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift
I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!
I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉
So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Challenges are soul tests- if we choose to see them this way.
Last night right before the energies of the lunar eclipse kicked into full swing I was given a soul test. Around 8:45 I over heard a conversation my partner was having about our relationship and his recall of what had transpired.
One little phrase of what he said triggered me, and triggered me deeply.
Knowing that the eclipses are opportunities to plant new seeds of being I knew I was being handed this “gem” from the Universe to see how far I had truly progressed in the past six months. The position of the eclipse was especially significant for me and my astrological chart.
For the past six months I have been working on my relationship stuff and really going deep within to resolve the deep parts of me that I was being called to heal. This specific moon placement would call into action all of those lessons and bring them up for review in the form of a soul test.
To achieve a result you have never had you must do something you have never done
So in knowing this I did something different. I noticed my reaction and instead of sitting with it and replaying it over and over in my head- completely convoluting the scenario, I went to have a shower. I knew on many levels for me water is very cleansing and standing under the shower head visualizing the heated energy within me washing off and going down the drain is often highly effective for me. In this particular instance it did help me reground and return to the present moment- that was until I saw my partner.
As soon as I saw him the trigger was activated almost immediately and I knew there were more tests just on the horizon. I knew I had to be honest and clear with him what was going on. So I shared. At first it was pretty calm, but as we continued to talk and communication became more misunderstood I exploded.
Yup I had a full on ego-blow out. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t formulate sentences, I was overcome with intense feelings of rage and so instead of entering into world war 3 with my partner I let myself be guided to do something different.
I walked away from the conversation and told him I was going to meditate.
I grabbed my crystals (Angelite and candle quartz) and sat myself down. At this point I was trembling with upset and just made an agreement to sit with myself and my experience until it passed however long it took. I’m not exactly sure how long I sat in meditation. I sat there as tears rolled down my face- I thought that I had failed this soul test by having an ego eruption. As I sat with myself and called on my guides it became very clear to me that there was something greater going on beyond what I could currently see. As I made peace with the reality of the situation and accepted it for what it was the feeling of upset dissolved.
When I came out of meditation I picked up a book on soul lessons conveniently sitting beside me and flipped to a “random page” knowing that whatever page I landed on would be the perfect message for me to receive at that moment. I opened it to the soul lesson of: “Embrace Life’s Tests”– ummm how divinely perfect.
I read the lesson finding more and more peace with every word I read. As I completed the chapter I came into the awareness that I had actually passed the soul test. I had done something remarkably different in the face of conflict and upset. I had removed myself from the charged situation and immediately chose to invest myself into an action that would truly lead me out of where I was at.
When I returned to the living room nearly 40 minutes later something major had shifted. I apologized for my outburst, took responsibility for the fact I was triggered and then another miracle occurred. He softened, he told me he understood why it had triggered me and that next time he would be more aware of the words he was choosing to describe what had really happened. I felt understood. Then he acknowledged me for doing something different and handling the situation in a way I never had before. I felt appreciated. I felt loved.
Challenges expand our souls capacity for kindness, compassion and love
So you see friends we all have shit that hits the fan and it’s in these times of challenge/soul testing that we are given the opportunity to do something different to achieve a different result. It takes time. It takes practice. Our ego patterns are intense and deeply engrained in our behavioural patterns and it takes conscious awareness and a commitment on our part to begin to show up for ourselves differently.
Where ever you are, whatever you are facing, know you aren’t alone, know that you are capable of transcending whatever limitations are within you and that every challenge is a sign our souls are eager to grow and expand into our greatest potential. They arise so we can learn each time how to handle ourselves with more compassion, grace, kindness and love.
To you and all your delicious soul expansion ❤
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Tomorrow my man takes off for 2 weeks of work training.
With that being said today’s post will be shorter than most as we make the most of our last day together for a couple weeks.
This is a huge step forward for us and a massive opportunity to heal and really move into the next chapter of our conscious love story. So to make the most of it we declared the entire day to our relationship and having fun with each other.
Came home made breakfast I did a couple things around the house and gave myself a 20 min max for responding to important messages and being on social media.
Then we headed out to Granville market to grab stuff for dinner, do a little shopping and enjoy one of my favourite places to go for date day.
We followed the market up with a trip to one of our fav coffee shops and did some creation and brainstorming for his project.
Then our ego’s flared
Upon detached reflection I think this was our ego’s (or at least mine) attempt of avoiding addressing feeling sad and emotional for this time apart- and it lead a little mini breakdown in communication.
The breakdown in communication ultimately lead to the uncovering of my vulnerability and sadness of him leaving. While logically I know everything is going to be ok and I have worked through the anxiety of this massive step (for us) there was still a sadness around him leaving.
We got to explore the feelings and get out what needed to get out. I allowed myself to be true to myself and honour my feelings and show him that I truly was going to miss him. That realness and vulnerability is what truly brought us closer today. Sure all the fun stuff we did today was fabulous for the memory bank however the true heart merging occurred when I was ok enough with not being ok to show him exactly where I was at and what I was feeling underneath the strong exterior.
From this release, opening and connection we solidified our communication plan, made sure all of our modes of technology were working and set out to have a great night together, make some home made pizza and embrace this new chapter with as much positivity, realness and possibility we are capable of.
So off I go to have an incredible night with my man and say goodbye in the most honest, real and loving way I can 🙂
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Persistent complaints in relationships.
The judgements we have about others are a fascinating thing. The biggest illusion we all get caught in is thinking our complaints are the truth. They may occur that way, in fact they often do. The thicker the illusion the more our complaints seem real.
Here is the Kicker
Your complaints about your partner are not about your partner- they are about you.
This is one of the main reasons why most relationship issues are rarely resolved. We think the problem is someone else. They need to change. They need to fix something about themselves. Judgement after judgement.
All this judging cuts us off from our life force and the love within.
For those of you who are ready to drop the exhausting loop of illusion and fear, keep reading because this will forever change the way in which YOU show up for your relationships and will forever change YOUR experience of success and flow in love.
Every complaint you have about your partner (or anyone in your life) is something within YOU that you haven’t dealt with, claimed and forgiven. These are shadows lying dormant within you. This will flare most egos to the point where they refuse to see the truth within.
What we see in someone is the greatest divine gift we could give ourselves. To set ourselves free from the burden of illusion is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and for the people in our lives.
It frees us up to live.
It frees us up to love.
Use your relationship to come into a better understanding of yourself and take yourself to a new level of greatness. Remember, the truth will always set you free.
- Examine the complaints you have about your partner or the people in your life. What are they? Write them down.
- Next reflect on where in your life this is actually true about you. Rewrite all the statements from a place of owning it. “When I say this about my partner what it means about me is…”
- Once you have reflected on the ways in which your complaints of others is a reflection of your own shadow do the deep and brave work of reflecting on how do you treat your partner when you have these thoughts about them? How does it feel in you when you treat them this way?
- Next ask yourself are these complaints about your partner actually true? Truth in the sense that these thoughts are expressions of love. Go through every single complaint until you see it clearly.
- Now ponder, who would you be without this story you have about your complaints?
- Finally what do you need to do for you to repair these illusions within you? What do you need to say to you? What gift has this person brought into your life?
We set ourselves free when we are able to get really honest with ourselves and come clean about the lies we have been harbouring. Most people don’t actually want to know the truth which is why they don’t ever ask these tough questions. We all have these illusions running rampant within. The beautiful reality is that if you have read this far you are one of those people who are willing, ready and able to really own your place in this world and own your greatness when it comes to love and relationships.
When we come to understand that people will do what they do until they don’t, we see obstacles, challenges and breakdowns from a new powerful place.
When your partner doesn’t do the things that trigger you anymore is a pure reflection of the resolution you have found within. At this stage, your partner may actually continue the behaviour we previously found a trigger in, however we have changed our perception and idea about it within ourselves, found peace within and are no longer controlled by the illusion. It is from this place we don’t even recognize the behaviour any more and all we see is love.
The love we see outside of ourselves reflects the love we have within us. For more juiciness like this come join us for a 9 week Journey into the land of Radical Self Love and Relationships. Our online course begins Feb 19th and we have a couple spots left for the people who are ready and willing to take their relationships to the next level of greatness! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more details and to register!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
It is an act of love for me to say no.
We have grown up in a culture which has conditioned us on many levels to fear saying and claiming what we want.
Part of being clear about what we want and desire also includes being clear what we don’t want. There comes a time in all of our lives when we are faced with saying no and staying true to ourselves.
How to deal with the guilt that comes up when we speak our truth.
If you are feeling like you have to explain why you are saying no, it is an indication that you have been saying no to yourself for a long time and saying yes to the world at the expense of your own true happiness. The impact of compromising in this way breaks our personal integrity. When we do things we don’t want to do we compromise our souls. We give up a piece of who we are. Doing this enough times leads to an experience of energetic fragmentation.
Energetic fragmentation is simply the scattering of our soul energy. When we give up ourselves for others energetically we give up a piece of who we are and unconsciously give the other person control over our soul energy.
Inevitably there comes a time when we become so sick of ourselves acting outside of our heart’s guidance that we WAKE UP. In this phase of awakening we become acutely aware of all the ways in which we have given ourselves up.
Once we are aware of the places in which we have given up ourselves we can begin the reclaiming process. We must command our spirit back. This means doing the exploration to identify the places, people and circumstances in which we have given away our power. Then we do a lil self lovin forgiveness work.
Self Loving Forgiveness
The commanding of our spirit back will require you to get radically real about where you gave yourself up and approach it from a space of empowerment. Meaning don’t fall into the ego’s trap of making yourself wrong for doing it. You did the best you could with the consciousness you had. When you know better you do better. Next one by one you are going to pull the circumstance, person or place in which we gave up our power and bless it with love.
” I am aware I unconsciously gave up my power to you. I forgive myself love myself. I forgive you and I love you. Thank you for teaching me this precious lesson. I now release you from playing this role for me and willingly command my spirit back.”
This is a fabulous practice to include into your daily RSL Routine.
We are all human and we all give up pieces of who we are along the way so we can learn to reclaim our power and become incredibly present to our divinity.
When we feel like we have to constantly justify ourselves what’s up with that?
It is a sign you have ignored your intuition for too long and your confidence has suffered a bit of a blow. Your perception of their lack of acceptance reflects your own inner insecurity with yourself and your choice. This is totally natural lovers especially for those of us, who for a very long time, didn’t speak up or share our truth.
You are building a new muscle and for the first little while you are going to feel uncomfortable. The length of time you feel uncomfortable is total under your control.
Minimizing the Discomfort
Every time you feel like you have to justify or explain your choices, remind yourself your need to speak your truth will not always include everyone’s acceptance of your truth. Some people just won’t get it. Especially if it means you are now standing up for yourself inside a relationship where you previously allowed yourself to be walked over.
Ego’s don’t like transformation and they certainly do not like self love actions.
When you are feeling like you are being challenged by someone on your belief system, remind yourself that your discomfort is a function of your ego not wanting to let go of a past, disempowering way of being. Any time we go into defence mode or justification mode we have activated our own ego’s.
Not everyone is going to like what you have to say when you start speaking your truth and darlings that is totally ok. One of two magical things will happen the more consistent and confident you become at speaking your truth:
1. People will really not be ok with your new confident and self lovin ways and it will become incredibly obvious through they’re behaviour that they are no longer be in vibrational harmony with you. Meaning you will start to attract people who are more on your wavelength who understand and respect where you are coming from.
2. The more self assured you become the more your community will naturally acclimatize to your authenticity. They may need a little time to get used to it, but they will indeed get used to it and then come to know you as someone who now unapologetically speaks their truth – which is a pretty rad thing.
Basically the process of you sticking with it, even when it’s tough in the beginning, will reveal to you your honest and true friends, family and soul tribe.
How to increase the confidence when it comes to speaking your truth
Feeling confident about ourselves goes hand in hand with speaking our truth. So to enhance our success and our feeling of acceptance both internally and externally we must also develop our confidence and give ourselves mega acknowledgment.
The 30 Day Radical Self Love Program is designed for this exact transformation and inner development work. And if you haven’t scooped up your program yet try these on in the mean time:
1. Do more of what you are naturally good at.
When we put ourselves into situations where we will naturally shine our confidence gets a massive boosting. We all have a couple things we know we are just rockstars at, give yourself permission to do more of those things and make it a regular daily occurrence.
2. Walk through life with an engaged core.
Yup I’m talking about flexing those tummy muscles. When we activate our core we hold ourselves higher AND on an energetic level we activate our solar plexus which is our storage unit for confidence, self assuredness and self love. Practice tightening your core any time you are walking or sitting. If you really wanna take it up a couple notches add a plank exercise into your daily routine. Holding plank pose is a fabulous way to develop those muscles, activate the core, tone everything up and activate the yummy self confidence waiting to be set free in your solar plexus.
3. Give yourself some credit.
We are often so focused on where we are lacking that we deplete our self confidence and self love tank without even noticing what we are doing. Giving gratitude and acknowledgement to yourself for all the greatness you are up to helps strengthen our confidence in a massive way. When we are thriving in positivity land we can HEAR the voice of our intuition clearly. When we can hear our intuition it is much easier to act on it’s guidance. To act on the intuition’s guidance is to act in our own integrity.
4. Remember this is a process.
We can be so hard on ourselves when we don’t see immediate results when it comes to shifts in our personal development. Remember this is much like training at the gym. You won’t see results right away after a workout, but with consistency and repetition you will one day look in the mirror and be blown away with the epic results you have achieved. The same goes for our self love and inner journeys. It will take time. Be patient and loving and enjoy flowing with the journey of your own awakening.
The more you begin to get comfortable with saying no to things that are really a no and yes to things that are really a yes your quality of life quickly begins to skyrocket. You have every right to thrive, be happy and live a life that honours your internal knowing.
No two people will have the same life experience so it is up to you to claim what works for you and what doesn’t coming from a place of respect, kindness, love and peace.
People will do what they do and say what they say and in the end none of it has anything to do with you.
Keep rockin your truth lovers! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
For all those ready to ROCK your 30 Day Radical Self Love Journey sign up here to get started: www.kelseygrant.com/30dayprogram
I love Thursdays
Thursdays are my coaching days. They kick off with my amazing coaching session with my coach and then I rock client sessions throughout the day.
Why I have a coach
What makes me an effective coach, leader and facilitator is my willingness to be coached and teachable. I know enough to know I don’t know everything. I am like anyone else who signs up for coaching. I have a life that sometimes gets lifey. I experience contrast, breakdowns and challenges. I am effective at what I do because I allow myself the space to work through my stuff and clear my shit in respectful and constructive ways.
My coach reminded me of three very valuable lessons today:
2. Conflict can only arise when there is a lack of clarity.
3. When dealing with conflict, breakdown and emotions there is always room for possibility and the opportunity of a breakthrough.
While we may write certain people off in our lives because they are challenging we must keep in mind that those people are brought into our lives for a very important reason. They are always brought into our lives to help us overcome our own limitations and internal conflict. While they may present this opportunity it is important to note it is not required to keep them in our lives. Sometimes we just have to bless people, wish them the best and set them free.
What we see in others means nothing about them and everything about us.
Our model of the world is based on our own personal life experience. No two people experience life the same and there for no two people will share the same perspectives and interpretations of life’s events. What occurs to one person as peaceful occurs to another as an attack and it is all rooted in our perceptions of the world. Some people just have a lens of drama. They unconsciously seek it and perpetuate it.
We either believe we live in a hostile universe where everyone and everything is out to “get” us or we believe we live in a kind and loving Universe where everyone and everything exists to help us grow, understand and come more into alignment with our truth. When we believe the world is out to get us we act in such a way to ensure we are “right” about it. Meaning we leave a lot of grey room in our communication, in our actions and in our behaviour. Lack of clarity is the ideal breeding grounds for conflict. This is why clear agreements and the management of details plays such a vital role in our ability to thrive and experience possibility.
Clarity is the foundation in which possibility is built on.
When we have a solid foundation we minimize the opportunity and space for breakdowns with each other. However when breakdowns do occur, and they do for all of us. What there is to understand is we all have the opportunity to handle them in a respectful and constructive manor. One of the foundational pieces of coming into harmonious resolutions is this: before launching into coaching mode or giving feedback mode create the space for possibility and have their agreement.
This means setting the conversation or context up in such a way where you allow the other person to freely choose what is best for them at this point in time. Most people just spew their breakdown, go on the attack and then wonder why the person on the other end is not receptive.
What we can do to shift this is simply ask permission.
Get their buy in. When you have something you need to share, before you share, ask them if they are open and willing to hear what you have to say right now and have the conversation. This one simple step sets you both up to win.
It ensures you will only have the conversation when both parties are open, willing and receptive to feedback. Until that happens we leave the space for more upset, more conflict and no resolution.
It certainly takes courage and a higher level of self awareness to operate this way- and it is totally worth it. Communication that is clear, honest and constructive is always the way to go. When you respect another by allowing them the space to choose when is the best/most optimal time to have the convo you are already on the path to success.
Harmony in breakdowns comes from a willingness to see things differently. Willingness to forgive. Willingness to learn. Willingness to grow and most importantly willingness to love.
Choose love lovers- it just feels better 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
This past week has brought a new level of awareness and eventually self acceptance into my experience.
About a week ago I went to go get my hair cut. I’m very particular about my hair and lets just be honest, I’m totally attached to it. It took me five years to grow it out and I have always really loved long hair. So imagine my surprise when my long locks were lying on a pile on the floor below my chair. When something like this happens there really isn’t much to do except eventually get to a place of acceptance via shifting internal perceptions.
What this hair cut taught me:
1. Un-communicated expectations are at the root of many, and most upsets.
I had an expectation of how my hair was going to look, I showed a picture and it turned out very different. Had I communicated how important it was to me to keep the length of my hair, perhaps it would have gone differently, perhaps it wouldn’t. The point though is not my hair, but what my hair brings to my awareness. If I have uncommunicated expecations with a hair cut- I have them all over my life. It is now up to me to discover where these expecations exists and then *GASP* communicate them effectively.
2. Attachment to an outcome is painful.
I was really set on the way it was going to go and when it turned out differently I completely had a meltdown and continued to experience internal conflict-all because I had a very strong attachment to how it should go. Like anything in life what is meant to happen is what does. Everything happens for a reason and when we hold death grips on our expectations we rob ourselves from the opportunity to see what we are being called to learn. There is always a greater and higher reasoning to why things happen the way they do. I can see first hand why having these restrictive attachments is something my higher self was guiding me to release- the more I embrace going with the flow and being clear in my expectations, the more I can actually relax and trust that whatever happens is what is meant to happen for my highest good. This does wonders for the experience of inner peace, happiness, abundance and flow. For True.
3. I am my biggest critic.
This massive change brought up a whole lot of “stuff” about feeling pretty, attractive and sexy. This entire situation has brought to my attention how hard I can be on myself and my physical appearance. What this also really brought to my attention was the fact that until my internal state resonates with the positive feedback I was receiving from others, I will actually reject what is coming at me externally. Meaning every single person I have come into contact with since getting the hair cut has affirmed just how amazing it actually looks- I couldn’t accept their praise as the truth simply because that was not what I believed inside. It wasn’t until today when I fully embranced, accepted and could see the beauty of it that I could really take in the positive feedback externally as truth.
4. The things that trigger an upset are not actually what we are upset about.
WHHHAAAT??!!! Yup it’s true, while I’ve known this for quite some time this entire experience drove the lesson home even more. I was triggered into an upset by my hair cut. Deep down what I was actually upset with was much different. The hair cut was just the surface trigger point to lead me to a deeper understanding of myself and the profound richness of my being. It was really about: my levels of self acceptance, my communication skills and my self perceptions. I have learned through this experience to see myself as beautiful no matter what, to accept myself as a beautiful and attractive woman inside and out, to level up my communication, learn how to communicate my expectations clearly, and how to allow the positive feedback from the outside guide me towards developing a more positive and loving relationship with myself.
So all things considered this was indeed one of the best hair cuts I have ever received, because it was so much more than a change in physical appearance. It inspired the transformation of my self acceptance, my body acceptance, my body love and ultimately my self love. This is a win, a really big one 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Say what you need to say has absolutely been the theme of the day.
The theme of what kept coming to me this weekend in all my course material, in my books and in my meditation/reflections was this:
“You have to say what has been given to you to say. The words you are gifted with are rooted in love and when you speak your truth the world opens up”.
This afternoon I got an opportunity to put it into action inside of a lengthy conversation. This conversation was a gift to both parties. By saying what was there to be said it allowed a massive flow of possibility and expansion to flood in to both of us. It got the creative vibrations rocking allowing us individually to fuel our respective endeavours AND clearing the weight of a false belief that was so obviously (to me on the outside) in the way.
It also brought my awareness to my effective abilities as a coach and healer. If we see things that others can’t in the moment and don’t say anything we rip them off from experiencing a miracle and we rip ourselves off from the healing the miracle generates for both people. I became very present to the fact I now longer am riddled by the paralyzing belief of wanting people to like me and gaining their approval. I am more concerned with the transformation of consciousness and serving a higher purpose. To be a messenger of love means saying things that others won’t AND saying what others won’t from a place of loving detachment.
Speaking with love is the key here. A lot of people speak their minds without being connected to their hearts. This more often than not invokes more of an ego battle in both people and in a space of agitation and aggravation healing and miracles can’t exist. To speak through the heart means it needs to be open, it needs to be active and it needs to be committed to the higher good for ALL. It means bringing awareness to the blind-spot without attacking but with acceptance, without demeaning but with compassion, without aggression but with peace. This is the gift I have been given on my earthly journey, to say the things that very much need to be said for any hope of positive shifting internally and externally, and to say them with compassion, openness, acceptance and love.
My invitation to you all tonight is simple- willingly choose to speak your truth and speak it through the heart. Speak your truth through love. If you are unsure what that would sound like you are in the perfect place. It is not you who will be doing the speaking, you will not need to think of what to say, your higher self is the energy that will be speaking through your vessel. This happens when we bring our awareness to the present moment and surrender our will to the will of a higher nature, the will of love. Go ahead and ask your higher self for help, that’s what it’s there for. Ask your higher self to speak through you and that all words, intentions and vibrations come only from love. Then be present, allow and watch the miracle unfold.
There is so much power in saying the things that will be uncomfortable in the moment but will ultimately lead you both towards your highest potentials. Quite a beautiful gift to each other and the world don’t ya think? 😉
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!