Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love-Day 365: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy shitballs I did it!!!

radical self love projectSuccessfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.

  • I considered writing the highlights of the year.
  • I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
  • I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
  • I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
  • I considered just writing another self love lesson.
  • I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.

All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.

To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.

Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.

Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love

In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.

But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.

That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.

Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.

radicalselfloveMy new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.

In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.

As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.

This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.

I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.

This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.

radical self love kelsey grant

In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!

Gift #1:

A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook-  Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE

Gift #2:

First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.

For more details drop me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).

Gift # 3:

Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:

My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00

To register for the 5 pack email me at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack

30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).

To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift

I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!

I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉

So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

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5 Simple Ways To Start Loving Where You Are- Day 363: 365 Radical Self Love Project

radical self love kelsey grantIf there is one thing I have noticed in all my years as a coach and facilitator is that a large portion of peeps have challenge being ok with they are in the present moment- never mind actually loving where they are. The path of Radical Self Love supports us in learning what our own experience of peace of mind is and in the process we end up realizing we actually really love who we are and the life we lead- wherever we might be.

5 Self Loving Steps to Loving Where You Are

1. Drop the lack and limitation.

Nothing much changes when we’re in an incompatible vibe to that which we seek. Meaning we must be in a state of harmony and peace before the manifestation ball really gets going. If we are fully consumed with labouring and convincing ourselves and the people around us how much lack we are experiencing the Universe responds to your state of repeated focus by sending you more of what you are so dominantly focused on. When you make a conscious effort to drop the lack talk and instead focus on all you do have you bring yourself immediately into a place of love and appreciation for the present.

2. Make joy a priority.

Each day choose one positive simple actionable. The sole focus of this action is to usher in massive joy. There are a lot of things you do or have done in your life that just make you freaking happy. These are often the simplest things- going for a walk in the woods, cracking jokes with friends, snuggling a animal, playing with crystals or oracle cards (one of my personal fav’s)- it will be different for everyone and there is a high probability the actionable will be different for you every day depending what’s up and how you are feeling. Doing things you love and that bring out the happiness within, support you immediately in feeling lit up about the now.

3. Take inventory on your accomplishments.

Humans have developed this habit of diminishing their accomplishments and not giving themselves credit for the awesomeness they have achieved. Of course we feel like shit and resist where we are at when we do this- it never feels good to feel like we are under performing or failing. When you are clear of how much you have actually achieved over your lifetime and even the course of a few short months your heart will settle into a place of great elation and calm down an over active mind. If it’s challenging at first to find evidence I would highly recommend you take this practice, make it a regular part of your self love routine and write those wins down as they happen.

When I was in a really rough place a few years ago I kept an evidence and accomplishment journal. Every day before bed I would write down all the actions I took that contributed to the expansion of my business and my dreams. I also recorded ALL the manifestations, attractions, accomplishments and wins of that day alone. It became very clear very quickly I achieve a lot more than I give myself credit for and I experience so many wins that my ego tries with all it’s might to diminish and bury. If this is where you are at- start here and watch those vibes soar.

4. Get still.

Seriously, start meditating. When the mind is an untamed circus you will inevitably feel out of control, overwhelmed and unhappy in the now. When we take our power back, get still and confront what is actually going on in our minds we can consciously direct a different result. Facing and embracing the monkey mind is the first step to causing a new and expanded result. A regular practice of stillness helps us to more easily distinguish between the racket of the ego and the truth of our hearts. If you have never meditated before sitting silent alone with your thoughts is likely uncomfortable and deters you. So set yourself up for success, find an avenue that works for now and work towards sitting in silence one day. Start with short guided meditations. Start small and create a vibration of success by achieving an abundance of little milestones. Find ways that work for you and forget the rest.

5. Celebrate someone else.

When the ego has gone into mega overdrive (aka when we think we should be anywhere other than where we are) we’ve gone into full self absorption and separation land. When you celebrate another person, praise their wins or just find something you are grateful for about them, you fast track your way out of the pit of self absorption despair and enter the beautiful vibe of being a positive contribution to someone else. When we are kind and extend acts of kindness towards others our hearts crack wide open. An open heart is a present heart. A present heart is a content and happy heart. A happy heart isn’t trying to “get” somewhere other than where it is. It understands there is an ever present and ever evolving progression to our experience and it is inevitable in a Universe that is friendly and for you, that more goodness is on it’s way and that goodness will arrive in perfect divine timing.

If you are ready to take your self love practice to the next level check out our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program. This beauty has been intentionally designed to set you up for success, dial in the self love practices that really work for YOU and give you a solid foundation to take your life and relationships to a place of harmony, bliss, abundance and beautiful juicy magnificent love.

You deserve to be happy right now.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Changing The World One Smile At A Time- Day 362: 365 Radical Self Love Project

A Smile Can Change Everything Every time you radiate happiness you activate those same vibrations in anyone and everyone who crosses your path. True story. Not everyone who comes into contact with this invisible feel good energy will become instantly … Continue reading

3 Self Loving Steps To Gracefully Navigate Emotional Storms- Day 361: 365 Radical Self Love Project

There is a general vibe floating through the air these days in the RSL community.

Stories of breakups, heartache and intense emotional upheaval seem to be subtly crossing my path lately. I sure have been through my fare share of all of these this past year and a half I wanted to shed some inspired light on navigating this tender territory from a place of self love.

radical self love kelsey grant

3 Self Loving Steps To Gracefully Navigate Emotional Storms

1. Give yourself permission to be feeling what you are feeling.

It’s actually ok to be experiencing whatever you are. Happy, sad, upset, angry- whatever has made it’s presence known in your experience, is there for a reason. If we avoid, deny or try to stuff down this “stuff” it just builds more momentum and comes bursting out uncontrollably at a later date. Giving ourselves permission to be is one of the most freeing things we can ever do for our healing, growth and spiritual evolution.

A wonderful RSL mantra: “I give myself permission to be human and experience all emotions knowing each serves a divine and perfect purpose.”

2. Come into full acceptance of your emotions when they arise.

A really magical thing happens when we come into acceptance- diffusion. When we give ourselves permission (step 1) then accept the emotional experience we are having as its happening- the duration of the upset is significantly reduced. Now all emotional upheavals and storms will be unique and some may last longer than others and that’s totally ok. The point is to remind yourself it is perfectly ok to be experiencing what you are.

A really great RSL mantra I use when emotions arise is this: “At this present moment I am having an experience of (I then identify the experience as best I can- anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness- whatever it is give it a name), it is ok that I am having this experience as having it means I am growing and expanding who I am, I accept this experience and trust I will receive the value of what it is here to teach me.” Then…

3. Allow, allow, allow.

Your emotions need an avenue to clear themselves, period. It is at this stage where you also encounter the divine assignment of practicing personal responsibility. Just because you’re having an emotional storm doesn’t mean everyone around you needs to be pulled into the emotional hurricane too. Find responsible and respectful (to yourself and others) outlets to allow the emotion to pass. Like all storms it will and the more you resist it the longer and more intense it will get.

If I am in a situation where the clearing will negatively impact another I make a promise and pact with myself to allow the emotion passage to happen at a specific time and place in the very near future- then keep my word to myself. If I am in a space where no one will be negatively impacted I just allow the clearing to happen in the moment. To consciously make this distinction will require self awareness and self loving discipline, which in all honesty just takes a bit of practice to polish.

Some of the things I do to allow the clearing:
  • Crying (I’m a Cancer and this is the most effective method for me)
  • High intensity exercise
  • Screaming into a pillow
  • Punching a pillow or punching bag
  • Lions breath
  • Real talk journalling
  • Verbal clearing (done only in a professional context with a coach)
  • And my ultimate fav, because it inevitably cracks me up is: stomping around and over dramatizing- think 2 year old temper tantrum 😉

All of these prove to be quite effective and in my allowing of the emotion to pass through, without additional internal judgement (“Oh I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t be feeling this”) I am able to return to a state of clarity and calmness relatively quickly- in the grand scheme of things.

Part of the Radical Self Love journey is learning how to be ok with all  aspects of your human experience. Learning how to bless these types of “negative” experiences and extract the gold always lying deep within, has certainly been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my Radical Self Love journey to date.

Give yourself permission, own the experience, allow the storm to fill you up and then allow it to pass on through. What you will begin to notice, with regular practice is, the duration and intensity of each emotional upheaval lightens as you become stronger in your application of these three graceful steps.

When we spend less time, energy and emotion in the stormy storms we free ourselves up to play and radiate in the blissful moments and experiences our lives are meant to bring.

Where ever you are is perfect, what ever you’re feeling is perfect, you are perfect just as you are. Remember that.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

This Week’s Theme Song- Day 358: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Music is amazing.

It lifts our spirits.
It communicates the things most challenging to say.
It puts words to our deepest emotions and most blissful experiences.
It connects.
Connects us to ourselves, to our experience and to each other.

Music is the Universal language.

It is also a massive tool for programming messages into our subconscious minds. Our subconscious minds drive the majority of our behaviour (96-98% on average). Knowing this I’ve been really aware of the messages I program into my mind via music.

I tend to be drawn to music that leaves me feeling good and inspired. I also am super keen on being mindful of the lyrics of the tunes I listen to repeatedly. Our access to consciously reprogramming our subconscious is through repitition and consistentcy. So when we hear the same songs over and over, the programming (intentions and lyrics of the tune) becomes registered in our subconscious and ultimately begins to influence our behaviours.

With that being said I still love music that captures the full range of human emotions and I am all for a tear jerking song when the circumstances call for it. However, for the most part I prefer to stick to positive and uplifting tunes cause when I feel good magic begins to manifest in my life. In the spirit of sharing here is a song I have had on repeat a lot lately. It’s called Good Life” by One Republic and its full of delicious high vibes and positive messages!

Enjoy this beauty and feel free to share with us on our FB page your favourite feel good tune! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The One Word To Remove From Your Vocabulary- Day 357: 365 Radical Self Love Project

As humans we are so privileged to have language to express our life experience.

As a conscious creator and a Radical Self Lover we must use this gift to it’s fullest potential. Which means coming to an awareness that sometimes the shit we tell ourselves is really not the most optimal or beneficial to our growth and expansion.

There are plenty of words I would recommend be removed from you vocabulary but to start off lets get right to the juiciest one:

SHOULD

This word is really damaging to our self confidence, our ability to own our choices and be clear on who we are and what we stand for.

Should is rooted in some belief in obligation.

I should do this because…
I should be there because…
I should invited them because…

Shoulding is also rooted in expectations and usually imposed expectations.

These never feel good.

You should have known…
You should do this…
He/she should just know this about me…

This list could go on forever. When we opt into shoulding we are about to fully embark on the lower vibe train. The point of our human experience is to feel good. Shoulding and feeling good are just incompatible. Shoulding restricts. It reinforces the false perception that where we are isn’t where we are meant to be. It puts us into resistance to what is so- what is reality- what is occurring in the now. To feel good we must learn how to make peace with the now.

We can’t should on ourselves and feel good. Period.

radical self love kelsey grantNext time you go to should on yourself or someone else stop yourself. Tune in and reconnect with love. When we do this we can clearly see other alternatives that allow our communication to be received in such a way where everyone involved is left expansive and feeling good. Which is the point 😉

For more feeling good and self love tools check out our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program and get those vibes in alignment with all the glorious goodness this life has to offer. You are worth it all.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The 3 Magical Gifts A Year Of Blogging Blessed Me With- Day 355: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy hot damn I have 10 days left on this blogging project!

I can’t believe it has been nearly a year since I started this incredible blogging journey. There has been so many incredible blessings and lessons I have embraced this year and today I am going to share with you

The three top gifts this year long project has blessed me with:

1. A mega appreciation and deeper knowing of what being committed really means.

This year has taken something to complete. There have been days when I honestly just didn’t feel like showing up, I didn’t want to write and I didn’t want to share. But I have. I’ve shown up every day. To do so required me to play at a higher level than I ever had before. I know this new relationship to commitment will bring incredible value and wisdom into my coaching practice. I know have the honour  of supporting others in this community to remain committed to themselves even when they don’t feel like it. This is self love on a whole new level baby.

2. An awareness and acknowledgement of my talents, passions and interests.

Over the past year I have come to terms with the fact I am a really incredible writer. My talent and love for writing has truly blossomed over this past year and I am honestly so proud of who I have become and how powerful my writing actually is. My heart is inspired to keep writing- just in new and expanded capacities.

3. The ultimate truth: I am capable beyond measure.

This year has taught me I am so freaking capable of acheviving everything I invest my heart into. I knew this on some level before I began and this project has given me the space to become so clear that as long as my heart is leading the way there isn’t anything I am actually incapable of achieving.

radical self love kelsey grantAfter nearly one year I have a profound new understanding of what living on purpose and creating on purpose truly means. I have shed many layers, grown in a multitude of ways and anchored in an incredible foundation to build the rest of my life upon. This next year ahead is going to be magical, abundant, love filled and so very blessed- because I say so 😉

I’m still in a bit of shock and amazement that here I am 10 days left and so filled with love, excitement and hope. I know by living the example of Radical Self Love I hold the potential to inspire a global community of amazing people who are ready to let love in, create a kick ass relationship with themselves and in turn create relationships that play in conscious partnership playground.

WOW- this is what my life has become and damn is it beautiful ❤

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The Awesomeness Advantage Reunites- Day 351: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Whoop whoop!!!

photoMy wifey/co-host of the The Awesomeness Advantage shmabigail returned back to Van today and I couldn’t be more thrilled and excited to spend the next week frolicking and adventuring just like we did back in the day!!!

In honour of this very special occasion I will share with you two really RAD Awesomeness Advantage episodes

First Share: Lessons in having a positive self image

Second Share: Musings on self care and self worth

And if you just want a good giggle check out these gems:

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Experiments In Gratitude- Day 337: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Gratitude is one of the major foundational elements of any Radical Self Love practice and it is such a pivotal component of our healing, growth and positive evolution. 

This video was recommended to me by one of my dear friends and fellow RSL member. During our high vibing chat about meditation and the power of gratitude and she shared that this video really left a positive impression and impact on her heart.

Sometimes in this world we need a little extra encouragement or evidence to nudge us in the direction of implementing change. This video is a amazing illustration of the basic science behind the practice of gratitude.

This little experiment warmed my heart to watch and reminded me just how powerful gratitude is and how the expression and sharing of our gratitude has the potential to ripple out massive inspiration and activate love in the hearts of the people we share with.

Share your love, express your gratitude- it will make you happier, science says so after all 😉

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

30 Days Of Blogging Left And A Gift For You All!!!- Day 335: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy smokes today is the final 30 day mark lovers!

radical self love kelsey grantIn 30 days from now I will have successfully completed one full year of one blog post per day! 365 blog posts!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!

In these final 30 days I intend to optimize this time together and write about the things YOU really want me to cover. This is my first of many gifts to you all! In the coming months after this blogging project wraps up I will be transitioning to a video blog format as well as weekly blogs over on my website and I would love to get into the habit of writing content based on our communities questions and interests.

So I have an ask of you.

If there is a specific topic you would like me to cover in these next 30 days let me know. Anything related to radical self love, self care, relationships, breakups, makeups, forgiveness, boundaries, trusting, healing infidelity, signs from the Universe, ego, love, fear, patience, anything about our 30 Day Program, RSL courses or RSL coaching we offer- ask away!

Send me a quick email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and give me a short heads up on your RSL or Relationship related questions and the first 30 people to write me I will be answering their questions directly on the blog for the final month. Every submission question will be kept anonymous to respect privacy of each of you love faces.

Everyone who submits a question will receive a direct response from me confirming we received the question and approximately the date your question will be addressed on the blog. If we end up with more than 30 questions we will find alternative creative ways to answer the questions to benefit you and the community- if you are one of those submissions I will let you know what to expect from us!

radical self love kelsey grantWhat I love about this style of sharing is, if one of you is having a challenge with anything self love, self care or relationship based, guaranteed there are many others dealing with a similar challenge. When you speak your truth and ask for what you need you give others permission to do the same and you also contribute in a massive way to the community as a whole.

I receive a lot of questions 1-1 and it makes sense to me to frame the inquiries in such a way where all of us can benefit from the insights, wisdom and coaching. Really excited to step it up a notch for the final stretch! I am so very grateful for each and every one of you lovers who have joined me in co-creating this community. This past year of blogging and radical self love adventures has been pretty wild and deeply transformative and this gift one of the best ways I can illustrate my gratitude and give a massive THANK YOU for all of the support and love!

Send me your questions loves and lets rock these final 30 Days together in a HUGE way! xo (rsl@kelseygrant.com)

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels