Bench These 3 Naughty Holiday Relationship Habits For An Amazing Season

***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading

Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love-Day 365: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy shitballs I did it!!!

radical self love projectSuccessfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.

  • I considered writing the highlights of the year.
  • I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
  • I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
  • I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
  • I considered just writing another self love lesson.
  • I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.

All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.

To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.

Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.

Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love

In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.

But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.

That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.

Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.

radicalselfloveMy new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.

In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.

As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.

This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.

I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.

This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.

radical self love kelsey grant

In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!

Gift #1:

A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook-  Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE

Gift #2:

First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.

For more details drop me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).

Gift # 3:

Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:

My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00

To register for the 5 pack email me at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack

30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).

To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift

I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!

I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉

So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

3 Self Loving Steps To Gracefully Navigate Emotional Storms- Day 361: 365 Radical Self Love Project

There is a general vibe floating through the air these days in the RSL community.

Stories of breakups, heartache and intense emotional upheaval seem to be subtly crossing my path lately. I sure have been through my fare share of all of these this past year and a half I wanted to shed some inspired light on navigating this tender territory from a place of self love.

radical self love kelsey grant

3 Self Loving Steps To Gracefully Navigate Emotional Storms

1. Give yourself permission to be feeling what you are feeling.

It’s actually ok to be experiencing whatever you are. Happy, sad, upset, angry- whatever has made it’s presence known in your experience, is there for a reason. If we avoid, deny or try to stuff down this “stuff” it just builds more momentum and comes bursting out uncontrollably at a later date. Giving ourselves permission to be is one of the most freeing things we can ever do for our healing, growth and spiritual evolution.

A wonderful RSL mantra: “I give myself permission to be human and experience all emotions knowing each serves a divine and perfect purpose.”

2. Come into full acceptance of your emotions when they arise.

A really magical thing happens when we come into acceptance- diffusion. When we give ourselves permission (step 1) then accept the emotional experience we are having as its happening- the duration of the upset is significantly reduced. Now all emotional upheavals and storms will be unique and some may last longer than others and that’s totally ok. The point is to remind yourself it is perfectly ok to be experiencing what you are.

A really great RSL mantra I use when emotions arise is this: “At this present moment I am having an experience of (I then identify the experience as best I can- anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness- whatever it is give it a name), it is ok that I am having this experience as having it means I am growing and expanding who I am, I accept this experience and trust I will receive the value of what it is here to teach me.” Then…

3. Allow, allow, allow.

Your emotions need an avenue to clear themselves, period. It is at this stage where you also encounter the divine assignment of practicing personal responsibility. Just because you’re having an emotional storm doesn’t mean everyone around you needs to be pulled into the emotional hurricane too. Find responsible and respectful (to yourself and others) outlets to allow the emotion to pass. Like all storms it will and the more you resist it the longer and more intense it will get.

If I am in a situation where the clearing will negatively impact another I make a promise and pact with myself to allow the emotion passage to happen at a specific time and place in the very near future- then keep my word to myself. If I am in a space where no one will be negatively impacted I just allow the clearing to happen in the moment. To consciously make this distinction will require self awareness and self loving discipline, which in all honesty just takes a bit of practice to polish.

Some of the things I do to allow the clearing:
  • Crying (I’m a Cancer and this is the most effective method for me)
  • High intensity exercise
  • Screaming into a pillow
  • Punching a pillow or punching bag
  • Lions breath
  • Real talk journalling
  • Verbal clearing (done only in a professional context with a coach)
  • And my ultimate fav, because it inevitably cracks me up is: stomping around and over dramatizing- think 2 year old temper tantrum 😉

All of these prove to be quite effective and in my allowing of the emotion to pass through, without additional internal judgement (“Oh I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t be feeling this”) I am able to return to a state of clarity and calmness relatively quickly- in the grand scheme of things.

Part of the Radical Self Love journey is learning how to be ok with all  aspects of your human experience. Learning how to bless these types of “negative” experiences and extract the gold always lying deep within, has certainly been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my Radical Self Love journey to date.

Give yourself permission, own the experience, allow the storm to fill you up and then allow it to pass on through. What you will begin to notice, with regular practice is, the duration and intensity of each emotional upheaval lightens as you become stronger in your application of these three graceful steps.

When we spend less time, energy and emotion in the stormy storms we free ourselves up to play and radiate in the blissful moments and experiences our lives are meant to bring.

Where ever you are is perfect, what ever you’re feeling is perfect, you are perfect just as you are. Remember that.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

It’s Time To Go Bigger and Brighter!!! Day 347: 365 Radical Self Love Project

I am over joyed and deeply moved with the outpouring of love and support from my communities within the last 24hrs.

Since publishing my post last night I’ve been flooded with positive feedback, incredible stories of courage, people relating and taking inspired and brave actions in their own lives. All of this possibility, transformation and love because of one extremely raw and authentic post.

Releasing that blog post was one of the best moves I’ve ever made.

It activated people in a big time way.

It touched hearts.

It opened minds.

It widened the capacity for compassion and forgiveness.

It evoked strong emotional reactions.

It caused the activation and expression of truth.

It gave the beautiful souls in this community the space to tell the truth on themselves.

It was shared- a lot.

This is not a coincidence. This is what happens when love leads the way. The activity and incredible feedback I have received in the past 24 hrs sparked within me a massive jolt of creativity, confidence and increased my capacity and willingness to be real and be seen.

Writing that piece wasn’t easy and releasing it out into the world brought up a lot of resistance- but the benefit I’ve seen in such a short time makes up for any initial uneasiness.

So Im stepping up.

radical self love kelsey grant

I’m playing bigger.

I am willingly submitting my work to additional platforms and allowing this to take me where I am meant to go.

I am going full stop into my passion- supporting peeps in repairing the #1 relationship in their lives (the one with themselves) and support these lovers in rocking their romantic relationships through the vehicle of Radical Self Love.

This past year has been literally life changing and I’m stepping into it all. I’ve been cracked wide open and I’m ready and willing to step beyond my limitations and play like I never have.

We’re getting really real and really rad for this next year of RSL.

Love you all so dearly. Thank you for standing for love in the world. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing up and thank you for your willingness to radiate love consciousness into the world. Even if we’ve never met you have contributed to my life in such a deep and profound way, for this I am eternally grateful and I won’t stop going deeper and expanding higher. I’m open, ready and willing to release the aspects of my ego archetypes that keep me from being fully lit up, self expressed and self loving.

You all have made this journey so fulfilling and I bow in humble gratitude to your brilliance. Lets do this lovers! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

If you are ready to release ego archetypes in your relationships and level up in love’s radiance, sign up HERE to our mailing list to receive a FREE copy of my first ebook “Sabotaged Love- The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want” coming in July!!!

How The “Other Woman” Helped Me Find Freedom and Happiness- Day 346: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Finding Freedom in the shadows

radical self love kelsey grantWe all have that side of ourselves we would rather keep hidden. Some call it a shadow, some call it an ego, some call it our darkness.

Whatever the name, we all have it. The elements of our personality with less than positive intentions. It is when we are living through our shadow we have a higher tendency to get triggered. Triggered by another person, circumstances in life and scenarios we are faced with.

Your shadow is one of the greatest access points to your highest potential if you allow this unfolding to take place. Embracing the lessons the shadow leads us towards, encourages the harnessing of energy and activation of our awareness for the highest good and potential for all involved.

What you can’t be with about another, leads you towards a deeper awareness of yourself.

Everything we can’t be with, everything we reject, resist or flat out dislike about someone or something outside of ourselves will always lead us to a greater understanding to what is going on inside ourselves on a deep deep level.

We can only identify that which exists already inside us and we are only activated or triggered by anything outside of ourselves, when an aspect of our own experience we have rejected and can’t be with- is still lying dormant in our unconscious.

How the “other woman” was key for my self awareness and deep deep healing.

There are a lot of things I could say about the woman with whom my partner broke our relationship agreement with and the only thing worth sharing is the truth.

It was really easy for me to hate her. It was really easy for me to be angry at her. It was really easy for me to make her wrong for everything. It was really easy for me to find fault in everything she did and everything she continues to do.

What wasn’t easy was coming to terms with one of my greatest spiritual lessons: Everything I despised about her, were actually elements of myself I had left unhealed and unattended. What a massive wake up call.

radical self love kelsey grant

My healing massively expanded when I started to use her reflection or more accurately my perception of her, for my own self discovery. Everything I couldn’t stand about her I took very close notice of- because it was actually mirroring what I couldn’t be with about myself.

I had to come to terms with the fact I had done the very same things I perceived she did- earlier in my life. I had repeated these disempowered behaviours multiple times during my life and I was still harbouring resentment and regret about it. I was withholding forgiveness towards myself.

Forgiving My Past

In my early 20’s I pursued men who were unavailable, men who were dating other people and I made it my game to manipulate them out of their relationships. In some shadowy twisted way when I “won” them away from their partners I made it mean I was enough, I was obviously a real catch and my bruised self worth was validated.

I would maintain friendships with men in relationships that were a little too close to respect the terms of their relationship agreements. I played the really good friend who was always there to listen to the relationship problems then eagerly offered my “advice”- advice to benefit me and my ego’s desires. I gave very little if any consideration to the woman in the relationship with the person I was scoping. She didn’t matter to me. I turned my back on my sisters.

I manipulated.
I meddled.
I flirted.
I seduced.
I made my ‘needs’ more important than the other hearts involved.
I broke trust.
I was dishonest.
My only intention was to get what I wanted at whatever cost.

Then I woke up.

Something in me shifted and I wanted more from myself and for my life. I wanted to learn what it meant to live in integrity. I wanted to learn what it meant to live on purpose. I knew enough back then that I would have to stop behaving this way to have the relationship and life I was deeply desiring. What I didn’t have access to was the essential healing ingredients- compassion and forgiveness.

Moving to Vancouver began a 5 year journey of understanding and developing my capacity for compassion and forgiveness. I practiced living on purpose and creating relationships in alignment and in integrity. When my partner and the other woman did what they did, it activated all of the unhealed wounds of my past. The shadow of my past behaviour was still unforgiven and reeking havoc on my present capacity for happiness. I was still living with the heavy heavy  impact of my past unconscious life.

Usher in the compassion

radical self love kelsey grantIt was through her, I was given an opportunity to identify all the suppressed junk I had been holding onto. The mirror of her behaviour also enabled me to wrap my past actions in compassion and love and set myself free- something I had not yet been capable of doing.

During this year long process of healing I’ve had to remind myself time and time again nothing I perceive about someone else is ever about them- it’s about me.

 

Through her, my awareness was directed to all the shadow wounds deeply buried within my unconscious mind. This situation happened at the exact point in time that I was capable of handling it. All of my “stuff” came up for review when it did was because I was in a place in my development and soul journey where I had the awareness and tools to move forward effectively.

This year I proved to myself how capable and willing I am at embracing my wounds, healing my perceptions and setting myself free.

We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. We all have done things we wish we could have done differently. If we hold onto them and make ourselves wrong until we leave this planet, we rob ourselves of the genuine happiness and possibility our lives hold.

When we learn from our behaviour and make conscious changes to become more respectful, more aware, more compassionate, more kind, more on purpose, more aligned with integrity and more loving- we have learned what that experience was meant to teach us. Then we can set it free. We keep the wisdom of the lesson and release the pain.

Making yourself wrong and others wrong until the end of time does no one any good. In fact it robs the world of your brilliance. This brilliance explodes into the world in the vehicle called your vibrance. Your vibrance is enhanced when you are happy, when you have released the weight of your “mistakes” and forgiven people who made their own mistakes. When you are living on purpose your brilliance inspires the world.

radical self love kelsey grantIt hasn’t been easy doing this work and forgiving all that has happened but it sure as heck has been worth it. Without her and all that happened I wouldn’t have developed Radical Self Love, I wouldn’t have this beautiful community to share with, I wouldn’t have uncovered and activated my purpose and potential. Without her I wouldn’t have done the inner work required to be in alignment with the relationship I desired so deeply and without her I wouldn’t have the relationship I do.

After I released myself from my past what I can see is I have a lot to thank her for. My life is beautiful, amazing, aligned and abundant because of her and all that happened. To be here in this head and heart space, a year later is a pretty incredible feat. It is through this experience I now have the honour to work with women in healing their blocks to love and finding their authentic relationship alignment and that my friends freaking lights me up!!!

You and only you have the capacity to set yourself free. You deserve happiness. You are worthy of success. You are so deserving of love, freedom and happiness. Be brave and do the most challenging and rewarding work of all: looking within.

Look, see, understand and love it all.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

If you are ready to learn to love you check out our RSL 30 Day Program to get started on building the best relationship of your life- the one with YOU!

Numerology, Love and Relationships- Day 340: 365 Radical Self Love Project

As an intuitive being I am super keen on using numerology in just about any way I can.

When it comes to relationships there is one particular way in which I find it very helpful. The personal year cycle. This is done by adding the date of birth, with the month of birth with the current year and reducing to a single digit.

For example my birthday is July 27th so I figure out my year cycle by adding all the numbers together like this:

My birth day is 27. I add both numbers together to get my first single digit: 2+7=9

Next I add 9 (day) + 7 (month I was born)= 16

16 reduced to a single digit is: 1+6=7

The I add in the next number which is the first number of the current year (2): 7+ 2= 9

Add in the next number of the current year (1): 9+1= 10

Reduce this number to a single digit: 1+0=1

Finally add in the final number of the current year (4):1+4= 5

My current year cycle is 5.

Knowing this I can prepare myself for the significant lessons of 5 this year which are change, movement and freedom. I use this website for a more in depth read out of each cycle. 

Then I do the same process for my partner to see what year cycle he’s in. This gives me access into understanding what challenges, growth and expansion await him in his year ahead.

Knowing this information allows me to operate at a higher level of awareness. First I can prep my partner for what may be coming down the pipeline for me. For example I knew that a year 5 brings massive change, lessons in freedom and flexibility and movement. At the start of the year I shared with him that this year for me would likely be full of experiences where I would be tested to learn and understand the true meaning of change, flexibility and freedom in my life. Simply put there would likely be a lot of change to experience.

To know this about myself helps me to be more responsible about my life and what we will likely face together as a couple.

Knowing his year cycle also gives me the opportunity to be the type of partner who will support his soul lessons for that particular year. For example my partner is in a 9 year, meaning this year is all about endings, completion and wrapping up an entire 9 year cycle of lessons and growth. Knowing this I can gently direct him into completing on certain areas of life, leaving old patterns behind and above all else not forcing new things to happen right now. There is a huge opening and serge of new life in a year 1 cycle and to push for things to happen in a 9 year only leads to upset and frustration.

I also use numerology to gauge the compatibility between people. I personally believe everyone has the capability to be compatible with one another, however some relationships are going to be more free flowing than others. The way we increase the flow of compatibility is through understanding the information in a numerology chart.

radical self love kelsey granto

I want to know what the soul urge of my partner is since this number influence will be the driving force behind almost everything he does. Having insight into his life path lets me see what the main themes of his life will be. Knowing the characteristics of his outward personality number lets me see who he becomes when in a community setting (out in the public eye).

There are so many extensive ways to utilize numerology within the relationship. The best use is always going to be for your own self discovery of YOU. The more you know how you are, the ways in which you function, what your areas of strength are, what your areas of challenge or growth are, you begin to return to the remembrance of your wholeness. A person who is in alignment with their wholeness and aware of their divine nature is a pretty sweet individual to partner up with simply because they are tuned into the power of love.

People often use these tools as a way of only understanding the other person better. That is all fine and dandy, it’s great to have positive insight and guidance on what could make the dynamic most optimal, but it is so so so important that you remain focused on using this tool to deeply understand yourself on a authentic level.

When you know who you are and what you stand for being in a relationship transcends into a whole new level of connectivity, relatedness and possibility.

When beginning to explore the world of numerology starting with a basic awareness of your year cycle and what is likely in store will support you in being your best version, embracing the soul lessons, passing the spiritual tests and rocking the main lessons of the cycle with as much ease, grace and positivity possible!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The Coffee Shop Cry: Lessons In Personal Freedom – Day 339: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Today I got triggered in a big time way.

As the magical universe would have it I was spiritually tested this afternoon to express and dig even deeper to expand my capacity for forgiveness.
radical self love kelsey grant

Inside of this triggering breakdown I had the chance to reach out and ask for support from my partner.

As soon as the trigger was activated, instead of letting it fester, I asked for support and if I could clear something with him that was activating an experience of upset and stress within me. Of course he said yes- he is incredible that way.

We dialogued for about 20 minutes while I cleared what I needed and gave him the stage to contribute his perspective and coaching my way. I let it in and found some peace around my challenge.

Then we headed out to adventure and find a new coffee shop to work in.

When we arrived at the coffee shop we continued our conversation and explored the deeper lessons and reasons why I was so triggered and upset. Inside of this very vulnerable exploration I was overwhelmed with emotion and I teared up.

I cried in the coffee shop

And it was incredibly freeing.

It was a testament to how far I’ve come along my journey. In a big time way I was able to be completely present to what was going on with me and not give a shit about where I was or the fact being gently emotional in public might make me “look bad” to anyone watching.

It didn’t matter because for one of the first times in my life, the exploration and expression of my wellbeing no longer dependant on the level of comfort people around me. My healing and gentle release was top priority. I allowed myself to completely be in my experience without stuffing it down or pretending I wasn’t hurting. I gave myself the freedom to just BE.

radical self love kelsey grant

Years ago I wouldn’t have been caught ever showing emotion in public never mind being vulnerable enough to allow someone into the most intimately sacred parts of myself and courageously outing my insecurities. I would have shut it down immediately and saved it for a more “acceptable” time and place- which in all honesty meant I just wouldn’t deal with it.

This RSL journey has supported me in accessing deep and profound levels of self acceptance through my ever growing understanding and application of self love. My free self expression allowed me to constructively clear what needed to be let go of and created the space for deeper intimacy and connection between my partner and I.

radical self love kelsey grant

I acknowledge my partner for the strength to hold space for me today and within that space anchor in more acceptance, compassion and connection.

I acknowledge myself for the courage it took to be boldly honest and deal with something immediately so that I could find a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness and self expression.

Passing a spiritual test with grace and compassion = levelling up to the next stage of greatness

Crying and the most raw and authentic self expression in the moment = freedom. Beautiful, pure freedom.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The Benefits of Being Real In Relationships-Day 338: 365 Radical Self Love Project

As my RSL journey has unfolded I’ve become more tuned into my passion and love for relationships.

Inside of this passion I’ve been noticing some behaviours in the dating and relationship world that deeply repel love in really sneaky ways.

This is one of the main reasons why I was called to write the first RSL ebook “Sabotaged Love- The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want”. 

One of the archetypes I explore in the book is The Chase and Dodger. This archetype thrives on the thrill of the chase. It knows what to say, how to say it, when to say it to keep their “interest” interested. The thrill of chasing and pursuit is strong in this archetype and once they get what they say they want almost instantaneously loose interest.

While I won’t dive into why this archetype shows up I will offer you some very solid coaching on how to lovingly approach and handle these types of dynamics.

The best and only way to approach people with this archetype is to be straight up. Be real. Be honest- like all out on the table honest- right from the beginning.

radical self love kelsey grant

This archetype only wants to pursue someone who is OK with ambivalence, ok with the grey zone and ok with a lack of clarity and grown up communication. The hint of any real talk spooks this archetype and they fast track themselves into the second aspect of their behaviour which is to dodge- dodge talking, dodge clarity, dodge commitment anything deemed as restricting their idea of freedom will send them running for the hills.

You might be wondering why clear communication is a good thing with these archetypes if they spook easily. To know where you stand with yourself means you are in your power, you are in alignment with your heart. When you are in this alignment you attract people who are playing at the same level. People with honest and true intentions, who have dealt with their shit, and are willing to be real and vulnerable can only be attracted into your life when you are being this way. People harbouring this archetype are, at the present time, unable to reciprocate this honesty and transparency, which leads you to know with deep certainty they are not the perfect partner for your precious heart.

Have the courage to pull out the real card, get honest and tell the truth about how you feel will filter out the chase and dodge types nearly immediately. This way your time isn’t wasted playing cat and mouse dating games and you support the vibration of love in the world by not buying in and feeding their ego archetype.
radical self love kelsey grant

Being real with a new potential partner is either going to freak out and run away or they will be excited and relieved because you are both on the same page. Either way you are taken care of. If they run away- it is a massive blessing from the Universe protecting you from a potential painful future heartache. The people who run away are NOT your perfect partner. No matter how we reason, justify or try and manipulate it, the fact is the perfect partner for you is the one who meets everything you are looking for and is willing to invest themselves into the relationship 100%. This means the perfect partner for you is someone who is available in every sense, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually.

If someone freaks out because you love yourself enough to respect what you want and have the courage to boldly communicate your desires- they are not the perfect person for you. Let them run, eventually they will face themselves and once they do they too will be able to find themselves in the arms of their perfect match.

radical self love kelsey grantYou are so deeply worthy of a love that fills you up and a partner who is truly available to you and your heart. Honour yourself, be radically real and raise those standards baby! By declaring how you feel and what you are looking for right away you confirm your relationship order with the Universe. You have to act in alignment with your desires in order to bring them to fruition.

I knew my ideal partner would have to be someone who was capable of hearing my truth but also open and conscious enough to speak his truth and what his heart was calling for. Ever since I uncovered this nugget of wisdom years ago my dating life has become this beautiful, exciting and respectful place to dwell.

There is an ease present when both people know what the parameters of the union are and are in full agreement with the co-creation.

My relationship now is a testament to my clarity and willingness to speak my truth over and over and over. My heart is happy and my relationship is thriving. Being honest may not bring you the immediate result (person) you were hoping for but it will always deliver you exactly what you ask for (the perfect person for YOU) if you open your mind and heart to receive it.

If you would like to receive a copy of the first RSL ebook before we release it to the world hop onto our mailing list to join the community who will receive first dibs on reading this juicy book! You can join our list over at our website www.kelseygrant.com

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!

Kels

What To Do When Tempted To Act Out Old Patterns- Day 336: 365 Radical Self Love Project

It is no secret that the path of Radical Self Love calls us to examine ourselves, our beliefs and our patterns.

radical self love kelsey grantFor the majority of us we have a collection of patterns and beliefs drummed up by our ego’s that have been repeated on automatic default settings in our brains for a large majority of our lives.

Often there is a defining moment in our lives when we are awoken from this unconsciousness and begin to question ourselves, our motivations, our patterns of behaviour and ultimately question who we are and why we are here.

As we begin to dive into the world of self reflection and discovery we begin to see how the functions of our ego have lead us into some less than desirable situations. The ego is rooted in fear and fear never leads us to the path of fulfillment and bliss.

If we truly desire to remember who we are and return to our natural state which is bliss we must consciously examine the behaviours and thoughts of an ego or fear based mind. Once examined we must begin to consciously question these behaviours and thoughts to honestly determine if they are truly serving our highest good. The final stage is choosing better high quality love based thoughts and establishing more empowering behaviours.

When tempted to act out old patterns of the ego here are three questions to bring yourself back to the vibe of possibility, potential and love:

1. What would love do right now?

2. Would love do what I’m about to do?

3. Would love say what I’m about to say?

Then the key is to LISTEN honestly to the answer your inner guidance will give you and act in accordance to this guidance.

Often old patterns are triggered anytime we feel vulnerable, open and our hearts are exposed. The work of RSL is designed to crack open the shells around your heart to open you up to the fullness of love and authentic connection. It is inevitable along this path that when we feel open and exposed the ego will do anything it can to shut down this opening and build the familiar fear walls right back up.

The only one who has the power to dissolve the walls around your heart is you. Dissolving these walls is essential to the manifestation of heart to heart connections with other human beings, to the manifestation of your dreams and potential and to the manifestation of your own self awareness which is the biggest gift of all.

The reason people avoid doing the work is because you can’t un-know something. When we learn these aspects about ourselves and our default ego settings, from that point forward each time the egoic patterns surface and we act on them it becomes a conscious choice. Most people don’t want to be honest and own that they are choosing to act out fears plan instead of their highest potential which is always rooted in love. The only way we can shift these patterns, thoughts and behaviours is through our conscious choice to change and choose love.

It is all up to you, are you open, willing and ready to choose love?

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kelsey

If you would like support in learning to choose love and say YES to your great potential join in on our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program!!

30 Days Of Blogging Left And A Gift For You All!!!- Day 335: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy smokes today is the final 30 day mark lovers!

radical self love kelsey grantIn 30 days from now I will have successfully completed one full year of one blog post per day! 365 blog posts!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!

In these final 30 days I intend to optimize this time together and write about the things YOU really want me to cover. This is my first of many gifts to you all! In the coming months after this blogging project wraps up I will be transitioning to a video blog format as well as weekly blogs over on my website and I would love to get into the habit of writing content based on our communities questions and interests.

So I have an ask of you.

If there is a specific topic you would like me to cover in these next 30 days let me know. Anything related to radical self love, self care, relationships, breakups, makeups, forgiveness, boundaries, trusting, healing infidelity, signs from the Universe, ego, love, fear, patience, anything about our 30 Day Program, RSL courses or RSL coaching we offer- ask away!

Send me a quick email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and give me a short heads up on your RSL or Relationship related questions and the first 30 people to write me I will be answering their questions directly on the blog for the final month. Every submission question will be kept anonymous to respect privacy of each of you love faces.

Everyone who submits a question will receive a direct response from me confirming we received the question and approximately the date your question will be addressed on the blog. If we end up with more than 30 questions we will find alternative creative ways to answer the questions to benefit you and the community- if you are one of those submissions I will let you know what to expect from us!

radical self love kelsey grantWhat I love about this style of sharing is, if one of you is having a challenge with anything self love, self care or relationship based, guaranteed there are many others dealing with a similar challenge. When you speak your truth and ask for what you need you give others permission to do the same and you also contribute in a massive way to the community as a whole.

I receive a lot of questions 1-1 and it makes sense to me to frame the inquiries in such a way where all of us can benefit from the insights, wisdom and coaching. Really excited to step it up a notch for the final stretch! I am so very grateful for each and every one of you lovers who have joined me in co-creating this community. This past year of blogging and radical self love adventures has been pretty wild and deeply transformative and this gift one of the best ways I can illustrate my gratitude and give a massive THANK YOU for all of the support and love!

Send me your questions loves and lets rock these final 30 Days together in a HUGE way! xo (rsl@kelseygrant.com)

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels