Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love-Day 365: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Holy shitballs I did it!!!

radical self love projectSuccessfully completed writing one self love blog post every day for an entire YEAR!!!! There are so many things I could write about today and I have given careful and thoughtful consideration for them all.

  • I considered writing the highlights of the year.
  • I considered writing the top lessons of the year.
  • I considered not writing much at all- total honesty and transparency 😉
  • I considered writing a simple celebratory post.
  • I considered just writing another self love lesson.
  • I considered sharing the impact of a year of self love on my relationship.

All of these were great however they didn’t feel quite right. Today is a significant day for me. For the past few years I have been levelling up and giving myself these “challenges” in order to grow and expand the person I know myself to be. This 365 Day RSL blog project was no exception.

To show up and create a blog post every day for an entire year took some serious commitment and dedication. It took bravery, honesty, transparency. It required me to face my shadow and deal with my shit. It called me to step into my role as a leader and a teacher and really own my place in the world. This project supported me in getting clear on who I am and what I am truly meant to be doing in the world. And it brought me face to face with my biggest supporter and my biggest nemesis- and coming to the profound realization that both happened to be me.

Today’s post I am going to share the biggest transformation that has taken place over the past year.

Unravelling The Ultimate Ego Sabotage Through Self Love

In one year I’ve done a hell of a lot of healing, forgiving, loving and moving forward.

But there was one thing that has held me back in all areas of my life and in the span of this project I was brought face to face with this disempowering mechanism. This is what I call “the ultimate ego sabotage” and I have had the opportunity to look it in the face with loving and kind eyes and find ways to gently and lovingly put it to rest.

That sabotage was an old familiar story of “not feeling like it”. How many times in my life have I used this line as a way to manipulate, get out of commitments and generally not show up for life? More than I can count.

Giving my word to a project of this magnitude brought me face to face with this disempowering habit every single day. Yes every single day it reared it’s face. Some days more than others but it always did.

radicalselfloveMy new self love habitual patterns were the only saving grace. If I had allowed my ego’s justifications or behaviours to run the show I would have quit. Something would have stopped me along the way. But because of my solid Radical Self Love foundation I was able to maintain my commitment even in the most challenging of times.

In my past my ego didn’t have to work very hard to get me to stop going down the path of transformation. It would pull the “oh I’m tired” excuse or something very similar and that would be enough of a reason to not show up for life.

As I grew and expanded my awareness my ego took to instigating physical pains in attempts to prevent me from showing up somewhere that would inevitably be a cause for my further transformation. The most memorable occurance of this function showed up a few years ago when I was heading out to be a production supervisor for the Advanced Course through Landmark Education. This role at the time called me to step up and lead a team of peeps and also create the space for all the people in the seminar to feel safe to dive into their own transformation- not an easy role by far. The morning of I was leaving my house and literally tripped over my own feet and fell down the steep stairs of my house. In the past this would have been enough for me to not show up- but I had done enough work to get acquainted with my ego that I knew it was just trying to take me out in any way possible to avoid my own immanent growth. Pretty bold stuff.

This year brought me into a whole new level of understanding my tricky ego. The function remains the same it’s just the measures and characteristics that change. Writing a self love blog every day for a year stretched me. Some days the words flowed, inspiration was at an all time high and some days it was fucking hard. I was emotional, my world was crashing around me and some how I managed to pull it together long enough to get real, get transparent and transform. In this year I have come to learn my ego’s new game is to take things incredibly personal.

I honestly at times couldn’t believe just how ridiculous I was being but somehow I couldn’t manage to stop it- that is until I realized this behaviour was a new form of my old ego friend. Once I became aware of this mechanism I was able to notice it’s take over sooner and become less reactive and more responsive to life.

This self love blog was ultimate training in playing bigger, creating something from nothing and standing for something way greater than myself. I knew my key to healing my heart was rooted in finding something I cared more about than the pain I was feeling. That “something” is this community, that “something” is supporting people in having more deliciously juicy relationships to themselves, to their lives and to the people in their lives. That “something” is self love.

radical self love kelsey grant

In honour of achieving such a kick ass milestone I want to celebrate with some gifts to you all!

Gift #1:

A FREE copy of my first RSL ebook-  Sabotaged Love: The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want. This baby is launching into the world on July 17th. Everyone on our email list will receive a free copy of the book as a mega thank you for being here and co-creating such a magical community of love and transformation. You can sign up for our email list HERE

Gift #2:

First dibs on attending my free summer webinar: The Self Loving Secrets To Long Lasting Commitment.

For more details drop me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com and I will send ya all the registration details! xo (eta end of July- Official date will be released within the next week).

Gift # 3:

Radical Self Love Coaching. For those of you who have been wanting to work with me to get your self love vibes thriving I’m rocking a summer coaching promo:

My 30 Minute RSL Reset five pack- (normally $444.00) until June 30th: $222.00 from July 1-30th: $333.00

To register for the 5 pack email me at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: RSL Celebration 5 Pack

30 Day RSL Intensive- For those of you looking for a more intensive self love coaching package I am offering 2 months of my 30 Day RSL Intensive for the price of one. You will receive two months of 1-1 coaching with me for $1111.00 and together we will design your sessions to fit and harmonize with your summer schedule and your needs. (Offer expires July 30th).

To register for the 30 Day Intensive send me an email at rsl@kelseygrant.com with subject line: 30 Day RSL Intensive Celebration Gift

I am so proud of what has been achieved in this past year and I am looking forward to this next year of bliss with all you lovers. A heads up, since the intention of this blog is complete I will be shifting over to my website for my regular blogging. Make sure to sign up to the email list to ensure you stay up to date on all things RSL!

I will likely post a couple more blogs here just to phase out and to share my new blogging schedule after I take a well deserved couple days off 😉

So much love to you all!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming along for this journey! We’re only going up from here! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

How The “Other Woman” Helped Me Find Freedom and Happiness- Day 346: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Finding Freedom in the shadows

radical self love kelsey grantWe all have that side of ourselves we would rather keep hidden. Some call it a shadow, some call it an ego, some call it our darkness.

Whatever the name, we all have it. The elements of our personality with less than positive intentions. It is when we are living through our shadow we have a higher tendency to get triggered. Triggered by another person, circumstances in life and scenarios we are faced with.

Your shadow is one of the greatest access points to your highest potential if you allow this unfolding to take place. Embracing the lessons the shadow leads us towards, encourages the harnessing of energy and activation of our awareness for the highest good and potential for all involved.

What you can’t be with about another, leads you towards a deeper awareness of yourself.

Everything we can’t be with, everything we reject, resist or flat out dislike about someone or something outside of ourselves will always lead us to a greater understanding to what is going on inside ourselves on a deep deep level.

We can only identify that which exists already inside us and we are only activated or triggered by anything outside of ourselves, when an aspect of our own experience we have rejected and can’t be with- is still lying dormant in our unconscious.

How the “other woman” was key for my self awareness and deep deep healing.

There are a lot of things I could say about the woman with whom my partner broke our relationship agreement with and the only thing worth sharing is the truth.

It was really easy for me to hate her. It was really easy for me to be angry at her. It was really easy for me to make her wrong for everything. It was really easy for me to find fault in everything she did and everything she continues to do.

What wasn’t easy was coming to terms with one of my greatest spiritual lessons: Everything I despised about her, were actually elements of myself I had left unhealed and unattended. What a massive wake up call.

radical self love kelsey grant

My healing massively expanded when I started to use her reflection or more accurately my perception of her, for my own self discovery. Everything I couldn’t stand about her I took very close notice of- because it was actually mirroring what I couldn’t be with about myself.

I had to come to terms with the fact I had done the very same things I perceived she did- earlier in my life. I had repeated these disempowered behaviours multiple times during my life and I was still harbouring resentment and regret about it. I was withholding forgiveness towards myself.

Forgiving My Past

In my early 20’s I pursued men who were unavailable, men who were dating other people and I made it my game to manipulate them out of their relationships. In some shadowy twisted way when I “won” them away from their partners I made it mean I was enough, I was obviously a real catch and my bruised self worth was validated.

I would maintain friendships with men in relationships that were a little too close to respect the terms of their relationship agreements. I played the really good friend who was always there to listen to the relationship problems then eagerly offered my “advice”- advice to benefit me and my ego’s desires. I gave very little if any consideration to the woman in the relationship with the person I was scoping. She didn’t matter to me. I turned my back on my sisters.

I manipulated.
I meddled.
I flirted.
I seduced.
I made my ‘needs’ more important than the other hearts involved.
I broke trust.
I was dishonest.
My only intention was to get what I wanted at whatever cost.

Then I woke up.

Something in me shifted and I wanted more from myself and for my life. I wanted to learn what it meant to live in integrity. I wanted to learn what it meant to live on purpose. I knew enough back then that I would have to stop behaving this way to have the relationship and life I was deeply desiring. What I didn’t have access to was the essential healing ingredients- compassion and forgiveness.

Moving to Vancouver began a 5 year journey of understanding and developing my capacity for compassion and forgiveness. I practiced living on purpose and creating relationships in alignment and in integrity. When my partner and the other woman did what they did, it activated all of the unhealed wounds of my past. The shadow of my past behaviour was still unforgiven and reeking havoc on my present capacity for happiness. I was still living with the heavy heavy  impact of my past unconscious life.

Usher in the compassion

radical self love kelsey grantIt was through her, I was given an opportunity to identify all the suppressed junk I had been holding onto. The mirror of her behaviour also enabled me to wrap my past actions in compassion and love and set myself free- something I had not yet been capable of doing.

During this year long process of healing I’ve had to remind myself time and time again nothing I perceive about someone else is ever about them- it’s about me.

 

Through her, my awareness was directed to all the shadow wounds deeply buried within my unconscious mind. This situation happened at the exact point in time that I was capable of handling it. All of my “stuff” came up for review when it did was because I was in a place in my development and soul journey where I had the awareness and tools to move forward effectively.

This year I proved to myself how capable and willing I am at embracing my wounds, healing my perceptions and setting myself free.

We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. We all have done things we wish we could have done differently. If we hold onto them and make ourselves wrong until we leave this planet, we rob ourselves of the genuine happiness and possibility our lives hold.

When we learn from our behaviour and make conscious changes to become more respectful, more aware, more compassionate, more kind, more on purpose, more aligned with integrity and more loving- we have learned what that experience was meant to teach us. Then we can set it free. We keep the wisdom of the lesson and release the pain.

Making yourself wrong and others wrong until the end of time does no one any good. In fact it robs the world of your brilliance. This brilliance explodes into the world in the vehicle called your vibrance. Your vibrance is enhanced when you are happy, when you have released the weight of your “mistakes” and forgiven people who made their own mistakes. When you are living on purpose your brilliance inspires the world.

radical self love kelsey grantIt hasn’t been easy doing this work and forgiving all that has happened but it sure as heck has been worth it. Without her and all that happened I wouldn’t have developed Radical Self Love, I wouldn’t have this beautiful community to share with, I wouldn’t have uncovered and activated my purpose and potential. Without her I wouldn’t have done the inner work required to be in alignment with the relationship I desired so deeply and without her I wouldn’t have the relationship I do.

After I released myself from my past what I can see is I have a lot to thank her for. My life is beautiful, amazing, aligned and abundant because of her and all that happened. To be here in this head and heart space, a year later is a pretty incredible feat. It is through this experience I now have the honour to work with women in healing their blocks to love and finding their authentic relationship alignment and that my friends freaking lights me up!!!

You and only you have the capacity to set yourself free. You deserve happiness. You are worthy of success. You are so deserving of love, freedom and happiness. Be brave and do the most challenging and rewarding work of all: looking within.

Look, see, understand and love it all.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

If you are ready to learn to love you check out our RSL 30 Day Program to get started on building the best relationship of your life- the one with YOU!

The 1 Simple Step To Take You From Crappy to Happy In A Flash- Day 341: 365 Radical Self Love Project

We all feel crappy sometimes- it’s a normal aspect of the human experience.

Contrast helps us gain more and more clarity into what we truly want and can be consciously used to direct our lives in a more on purpose direction. If these downward spirals of the ego are left unattended for too long, we may find ourselves trapped in what seems like an unchangeable state of upset and despair.

In those times of feeling super low, choosing better thoughts or curbing the negative self talk is often quite challenging. So how can you move from one of these moments of energetic lowness to a higher vibrational state?

The 1 Simple Step To Take You From Crappy To Happy

Perform a random act of kindness for a stranger or someone with whom you do not expect anything from in return.

radical self love kelsey grant

When we act out a physical action of unconditional kindness towards another being it immediately reconnects us with our truth. It reminds us, ever so slightly of our interconnectedness with one another and our true nature which is love.

When we perform a selfless act of kindness towards someone else we take the focus off of ourselves. To step up the vibration scale this must happen. Staying trapped in the musings of the ego happens because the focus is all on you and the unfair or painful circumstance  you are experiencing. The ego loves this attention. It feeds off it. When we go into the space of being of service or a positive contribution to anyone other than ourselves we elevate our vibration, because to do so requires us to step out of the dramatic stories of the ego, expand our awareness to another persons needs and recalibrate with love.

To receive love we must first give it away freely.

A simple gesture of opening the door for someone, holding the elevator, smiling at a stranger, giving a nice compliment to someone who momentarily crossed your path- anything that takes the immediate focus off the ego drama and into making a strangers life a little better, will immediately send a surging of positive emotion through your body. When this happens our truth is triggered and we remember if for a second the essence of who we are- love.

The next time you are feeling crappy- embrace the world and do something kind for someone. The more consistent you are in your practice of random acts of kindness the more expansive your heart becomes. Inside this expansiveness we re-establish our connection to each other, to the world and most importantly to ourselves- our true selves that is 😉

Go be kind and watch with a keen eye to witness your circumstances improve.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

What To Do When Tempted To Act Out Old Patterns- Day 336: 365 Radical Self Love Project

It is no secret that the path of Radical Self Love calls us to examine ourselves, our beliefs and our patterns.

radical self love kelsey grantFor the majority of us we have a collection of patterns and beliefs drummed up by our ego’s that have been repeated on automatic default settings in our brains for a large majority of our lives.

Often there is a defining moment in our lives when we are awoken from this unconsciousness and begin to question ourselves, our motivations, our patterns of behaviour and ultimately question who we are and why we are here.

As we begin to dive into the world of self reflection and discovery we begin to see how the functions of our ego have lead us into some less than desirable situations. The ego is rooted in fear and fear never leads us to the path of fulfillment and bliss.

If we truly desire to remember who we are and return to our natural state which is bliss we must consciously examine the behaviours and thoughts of an ego or fear based mind. Once examined we must begin to consciously question these behaviours and thoughts to honestly determine if they are truly serving our highest good. The final stage is choosing better high quality love based thoughts and establishing more empowering behaviours.

When tempted to act out old patterns of the ego here are three questions to bring yourself back to the vibe of possibility, potential and love:

1. What would love do right now?

2. Would love do what I’m about to do?

3. Would love say what I’m about to say?

Then the key is to LISTEN honestly to the answer your inner guidance will give you and act in accordance to this guidance.

Often old patterns are triggered anytime we feel vulnerable, open and our hearts are exposed. The work of RSL is designed to crack open the shells around your heart to open you up to the fullness of love and authentic connection. It is inevitable along this path that when we feel open and exposed the ego will do anything it can to shut down this opening and build the familiar fear walls right back up.

The only one who has the power to dissolve the walls around your heart is you. Dissolving these walls is essential to the manifestation of heart to heart connections with other human beings, to the manifestation of your dreams and potential and to the manifestation of your own self awareness which is the biggest gift of all.

The reason people avoid doing the work is because you can’t un-know something. When we learn these aspects about ourselves and our default ego settings, from that point forward each time the egoic patterns surface and we act on them it becomes a conscious choice. Most people don’t want to be honest and own that they are choosing to act out fears plan instead of their highest potential which is always rooted in love. The only way we can shift these patterns, thoughts and behaviours is through our conscious choice to change and choose love.

It is all up to you, are you open, willing and ready to choose love?

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kelsey

If you would like support in learning to choose love and say YES to your great potential join in on our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program!!

Why Challenges And Relationship Squabbles Are Really Just Soul Tests- Day 298: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Challenges are soul tests- if we choose to see them this way.

Last night right before the energies of the lunar eclipse kicked into full swing I was given a soul test. Around 8:45 I over heard a conversation my partner was having about our relationship and his recall of what had transpired.

One little phrase of what he said triggered me, and triggered me deeply.

Knowing that the eclipses are opportunities to plant new seeds of being I knew I was being handed this “gem” from the Universe to see how far I had truly progressed in the past six months. The position of the eclipse was especially significant for me and my astrological chart.

For the past six months I have been working on my relationship stuff and really going deep within to resolve the deep parts of me that I was being called to heal. This specific moon placement would call into action all of those lessons and bring them up for review in the form of a soul test.

radical self love kelsey grant

To achieve a result you have never had you must do something you have never done

So in knowing this I did something different. I noticed my reaction and instead of sitting with it and replaying it over and over in my head- completely convoluting the scenario, I went to have a shower. I knew on many levels for me water is very cleansing and standing under the shower head visualizing the heated energy within me washing off and going down the drain is often highly effective for me. In this particular instance it did help me reground and return to the present moment- that was until I saw my partner.

As soon as I saw him the trigger was activated almost immediately and I knew there were more tests just on the horizon. I knew I had to be honest and clear with him what was going on. So I shared. At first it was pretty calm, but as we continued to talk and communication became more misunderstood I exploded.

Yup I had a full on ego-blow out. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t formulate sentences, I was overcome with intense feelings of rage and so instead of entering into world war 3 with my partner I let myself be guided to do something different.

I walked away from the conversation and told him I was going to meditate.

I grabbed my crystals (Angelite and candle quartz) and sat myself down. At this point I was trembling with upset and just made an agreement to sit with myself and my experience until it passed however long it took. I’m not exactly sure how long I sat in meditation. I sat there as tears rolled down my face- I thought that I had failed this soul test by having an ego eruption. As I sat with myself and called on my guides it became very clear to me that there was something greater going on beyond what I could currently see. As I made peace with the reality of the situation and accepted it for what it was the feeling of upset dissolved.

When I came out of meditation I picked up a book on soul lessons conveniently sitting beside me and flipped to a “random page” knowing that whatever page I landed on would be the perfect message for me to receive at that moment. I opened it to the soul lesson of: “Embrace Life’s Tests”– ummm how divinely perfect.

I read the lesson finding more and more peace with every word I read. As I completed the chapter I came into the awareness that I had actually passed the soul test. I had done something remarkably different in the face of conflict and upset. I had removed myself from the charged situation and immediately chose to invest myself into an action that would truly lead me out of where I was at.

When I returned to the living room nearly 40 minutes later something major had shifted. I apologized for my outburst, took responsibility for the fact I was triggered and then another miracle occurred. He softened, he told me he understood why it had triggered me and that next time he would be more aware of the words he was choosing to describe what had really happened. I felt understood. Then he acknowledged me for doing something different and handling the situation in a way I never had before. I felt appreciated. I felt loved.

Challenges expand our souls capacity for kindness, compassion and love

So you see friends we all have shit that hits the fan and it’s in these times of challenge/soul testing that we are given the opportunity to do something different to achieve a different result. It takes time. It takes practice. Our ego patterns are intense and deeply engrained in our behavioural patterns and it takes conscious awareness and a commitment on our part to begin to show up for ourselves differently.

Where ever you are, whatever you are facing, know you aren’t alone, know that you are capable of transcending whatever limitations are within you and that every challenge is a sign our souls are eager to grow and expand into our greatest potential. They arise so we can learn each time how to handle ourselves with more compassion, grace, kindness and love.

To you and all your delicious soul expansion ❤

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Lessons of a 21 Day Yoga Challenge- Day 274: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Yesterday marked the completion of the 21 day yoga challenge.

I did not complete it as designed and I am totally ok with it.

Here is why:

During this challenge I was brought face to face with something within myself- my ego’s desire to look good. It became very clear to me that my major intention for doing this challenge was to prove to myself I could do it because doing it would make me look good to others in my life.

gentleWell thats all fine and dandy if I had made the choice while taking into consideration of all my other life commitments I had going on at the same time too- AND taking into consideration if the classes offered at the studio would actually harmoniously fit into my jammed schedule. Turns out they didn’t.

For the first week I really stressed myself out to get to yoga- completely anti-yoga- I know, I know 😉

The second week I loosened the reigns on myself and my egos super tight “looking good” grip.

I tuned into what my body actually needed.

I gave myself permission to be flexible, creative and honour my needs

6 Days straight of hot yoga, 1 hot yin class and 1 meditation a week just weren’t working for my body. It was too intense. My schedule didn’t really jive with the studio schedule and the hot classes were pretty much all I could make happen.

When I tuned into what my body wanted everything changed.
  • One day my body was craving a run- so instead of stressing to get to the studio I put on my runners and ran the seawall and enjoyed every second of it.
  • Other days my body craved meditation sessions- so I would load myself up with crystals and zen out in my living room.
  • And other days I made it to my mat in the studio.

I lost track of the amount of classes I took and there were days when I showed up for class and actually forgot about putting a star on the wall chart.

What I “got” about that was it was no longer about the recognition or putting a sticker on the wall (aka listening to the intensity of my ego) it was now about listening to my intuition, my body and my heart. I let my heart guide me day to day to the exact situation that would be best for me in the moment.

I’m so happy I did the challenge because it gave me even deeper perspective, a clearer understanding of my ego and the opportunity to surrender into my path and make the incredible call of what honestly works best for me.

Next time there is a yoga challenge I’ll be sure to put more thought and intention into whether I can honestly make it work or not. Until then I have a wonderful new practice of getting to practice 4-5 times a week. Perhaps that was part of the learning and lesson too 😉

Back to the mat and back to my heart ❤

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The 5 Step Guide To Get You Back To Feeling Good- Day 248: 365 Radical Self Love Project

There has been a common theme among all the client sessions I’ve had today-

“How do I get back to feeling good when I feel so crappy?”

I figure if this showed up for all these peeps chances are a lot of you are wondering the same thing, so I am going to share with you some key practices to getting back into the good vibe!

Radical self love kelsey grant

The 5 Step Guide To Get You Back to Feeling Good

1. Stop resisting where you are right now.

What we resist persists and what we fight we strengthen. The first and most important step to getting back to goodness is accepting the present as it is right now. Own what you are feeling even if it’s shitty. The moment you come into acceptance of what is so in the moment you allow yourself the energetic, mental and emotional space to create something new. It all starts with being honest with yourself.

2. Find your outlet to get all your excess energy out.

When we allow the not so good vibes to fester we run the very high possibility of snowballing into the world of downward spiralling. To approach this common pattern with love you will have to establish a way that works for you to get your excess energy out. When you are feeling frusterated, angry, upset what is your physical outlet to blow off that steam? Daily exercise is a great way to get these icky vibes out when they present themselves and it’s a long term solution to having them show up less frequently and certainly less intensely. Dancing, running, yoga anything that gets your body active and your heart rate up and your sweat on is ideal.

3. Stop hanging around with jerks.

Make a radical self love declaration to only keep around people in your life that bring out the best in you and you in them. Positivity, authenticity and compassion are key when making the social circle YES list.

4. Stop giving yourself permission to avoid doing things that will make you feel good, keep you in alignment and keep your vibes high.

The more we listen to our excuses the less results we see. Simple truth. If you want to be happier it is actually all up to YOU. If you keep doing things that make you feel crappy, or avoid doing the things you know will bring massive positive change  your way then the actual truth is you don’t really want to be happy. You most likely like the idea of being happy but are more committed to staying stuck that taking the actions that will get you there. Instead, if you are really committed to being happy, every time you come up with an excuse of why you shouldn’t do something you know will make you feel better, acknowledge it, and make the choice to do it anyway. Thank your excuse for sharing and remind yourself that happiness is a result of the actions, thoughts and feelings you call forth within yourself.

5. Make a go-to short list of things that raise your vibes.

Often when we are in the pit of self dispair we have short term memory loss and conviently forget what we could do that would raise our vibes and get us back into alignment (sneaky sneaky ego tricks). Make a list when you are clear and feeling good of the things you know to do to raise your energy and your vibes. For example my list consists of: listening to Keith Urban, looking a pictures of kittens or puppies, going for a walk and petting dogs on the street, snuggling an animal, watching the pure joy and laughter of a little human, meditation, watching episodes of The Awesomeness Advantage and the list goes on. The point is when we have this list we don’t give ourselves any room to default to our excuses which is a beautiful thing.

It’s ok to feel it all- just let yourself come back up for air.

radical self love kelsey grantIt is important to note that feeling, sad, low, and angry are all legit experiences of the human condition and we are meant to feel them to some degree in our lives. The purpose of this article and these suggestions is to support you in coming out of those phases quicker, to bring more awareness to why you are experiencing those feelings and how you can constructively learn from them- aka coming back up for air. There is also a distinction to be made here about experiencing a healthy dose of contrast and wallowing in our darkness.

Healthy Dose of Contrast VS Wallowing in Self Pity.

I personally believe the challenging times are the times when our greatest gifts are delivered to us- in the disguise of a challenge, hurt, upset, betrayal ect. Grief is a very important human expression and we must give ourselves permission to feel it all. We must also give ourselves permission to not be consumed by the temptation to wallow or spiral out of control with negative emotion.

radical self love kelsey grantI imagine since you are here reading this you are one of the beautiful humans who has incarnated this time around to beam more love and blessings into the world. This will mean you certainly will have your ups and downs throughout your lifetime and what makes your path a one of love is choosing to bring higher consciousness, deeper awareness and more freaking happiness into your experience!!! 😉

It is your divine birthright to be happy- let yourself go there and let yourself feel it all- especially the good stuff. You are worth it after all!!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels

Giving Ourselves Permission To Change- Day 231: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Giving ourselves permission to change.

If I had to say there was a dominant theme to this week this would be it.

It has shown up with my clients, it has shown up within the RSL community, the RSL 30 Day Program peeps and it has shown up in me.

Giving ourselves permission to change.

I read an interesting passage this afternoon about health, it stated that approximately 30% of people who are sick actually listen to their doctors advice on how to get better. This got me thinking about how most people go through life addicted to their pain, defined by their problems and completely unwilling to change who they are all the while expecting the world around them to change instead.

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Why are so many people who are sick unwilling to do what it takes to heal?

My assumption is that people are willing to stay sick for a few reasons:

change-is-the-essence-of-life-be-willing-to-surrender-what-you-are1. It ensures they maintain the attention of those around them. Think about it. When you are sick you become the centre of attention. People dote on you, they take care of you, they design their lives around you to make you feel better. The ego loves this and is simply not willing to let go of being the centre of attention.

2. Allows people to avoid responsibility. When we are unable to set boundaries, say no or take responsibility for ourselves and our lives we can attract sickness as a way to say no. It gives us an out and we never really have to tell the truth or approach the discomfort of saying no to someone or something.

3. We never have to get real about what is really at the root of our imbalance. This shows up when we treat the symptoms in order to manage the dis-ease instead of doing the internal work to heal. When this happens it is a clear indication that there is an unwillingness to actually feel good. This is the addiction to pain. It is another avoidance mechanism this time to addressing the cause of the imbalance. As humans we have become so removed from the potential we have to feel incredible that we have settled for a quality of life that isn’t exactly comfortable or enjoyable.

Why is this relevant or important to a self love practice?

The ways in which this applies to self love are simple. When we are on the journey of loving ourselves more we will be faced with all the ways in which we haven’t been loving towards ourselves, the places where we must heal to move forward fearlessly and the habitual patterns of behaviour that really only serve one purpose- to keep us stuck.

We become aware of the ways we “get” attention, our patterns of avoidance and our coping mechanisms for our lives. It allows us to take a look at these behaviours from a place of love and compassion.

We all have the capacity to transform and change- the first step is our willingness.

It doesn’t matter if it’s our health, relationships, money, career, soul path what ever area of life we are focused in on these dominant patterns of the ego are going to show up.

How we do anything is how we do everything.

It is when we are ready, able and willing to shine some light on them that the true space for transformation blooms.

The path of Radical Self Love is our own inner journey to awareness. When we are aware of what we do to get attention we can address the underlying needs not being met and design healthy and effective ways to make sure we are receiving what we need. We get to become our own best friends. It is a truly magical process.

photo-37If you are ready to dive in and take your experience of feeling good to a whole new level join us for the 30 Day Radical Self Love Program. Registration details can be found here: www.kelseygrant.com/30dayprogram

Your natural state is bliss, you were designed to feel good. Give yourself permission to change, transform and surrender into the incredible potential you have to feel amazing, live a life that inspires you and most importantly feels incredible from the inside out. It’s your birthright to feel good. Give yourself permission to go there.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

“It Is An Act Of LOVE For Me To Say No”- How To Powerfully and Respectfully Stand In Your Truth- Day 218: 365 Radical Self Love Project

It is an act of love for me to say no.

radical self loveThis is one of my all time favourite Radical Self Love mantras I have.

We have grown up in a culture which has conditioned us on many levels to fear saying and claiming what we want.

Part of being clear about what we want and desire also includes being clear what we don’t want. There comes a time in all of our lives when we are faced with saying no and staying true to ourselves.

How to deal with the guilt that comes up when we speak our truth.

Phase One

img-thingIf you are feeling like you have to explain why you are saying no, it is an indication that you have been saying no to yourself for a long time and saying yes to the world at the expense of your own true happiness. The impact of compromising in this way breaks our personal integrity. When we do things we don’t want to do we compromise our souls. We give up a piece of who we are. Doing this enough times leads to an experience of energetic fragmentation.

Energetic fragmentation is simply the scattering of our soul energy. When we give up ourselves for others energetically we give up a piece of who we are and unconsciously give the other person control over our soul energy.

Inevitably there comes a time when we become so sick of ourselves acting outside of our heart’s guidance that we WAKE UP. In this phase of awakening we become acutely aware of all the ways in which we have given ourselves up.

Phase Two

Once we are aware of the places in which we have given up ourselves we can begin the reclaiming process. We must command our spirit back. This means doing the exploration to identify the places, people and circumstances in which we have given away our power. Then we do a lil self lovin forgiveness work.

Self Loving Forgiveness

The commanding of our spirit back will require you to get radically real about where you gave yourself up and approach it from a space of empowerment. Meaning don’t fall into the ego’s trap of making yourself wrong for doing it. You did the best you could with the consciousness you had. When you know better you do better. Next one by one you are going to pull the circumstance, person or place in which we gave up our power and bless it with love.

” I am aware I unconsciously gave up my power to you. I forgive myself love myself. I forgive you and I love you. Thank you for teaching me this precious lesson. I now release you from playing this role for me and willingly command my spirit back.”

Your-past-mistakes-are-meant-to-guide-youOnce you repeat the forgiveness mantra sit in stillness. In this stillness you will begin to feel the experience of your soul piece returning. Some pieces come back quicker than others.

This is a fabulous practice to include into your daily RSL Routine.

We are all human and we all give up pieces of who we are along the way so we can learn to reclaim our power and become incredibly present to our divinity.

When we feel like we have to constantly justify ourselves what’s up with that?

It is a sign you have ignored your intuition for too long and your confidence has suffered a bit of a blow. Your perception of their lack of acceptance reflects your own inner insecurity with yourself and your choice. This is totally natural lovers especially for those of us, who for a very long time, didn’t speak up or share our truth.

You are building a new muscle and for the first little while you are going to feel uncomfortable. The length of time you feel uncomfortable is total under your control.

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Minimizing the Discomfort

Every time you feel like you have to justify or explain your choices, remind yourself your need to speak your truth will not always include everyone’s acceptance of your truth. Some people just won’t get it. Especially if it means you are now standing up for yourself inside a relationship where you previously allowed yourself to be walked over.

Ego’s don’t like transformation and they certainly do not like self love actions.

1743729_10152232664608707_2009396956_nWhen you are feeling like you are being challenged by someone on your belief system, remind yourself that your discomfort is a function of your ego not wanting to let go of a past, disempowering way of being. Any time we go into defence mode or justification mode we have activated our own ego’s.

Not everyone is going to like what you have to say when you start speaking your truth and darlings that is totally ok. One of two magical things will happen the more consistent and confident you become at speaking your truth:

1. People will really not be ok with your new confident and self lovin ways and it will become incredibly obvious through they’re behaviour that they are no longer be in vibrational harmony with you. Meaning you will start to attract people who are more on your wavelength who understand and respect where you are coming from.

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2. The more self assured you become the more your community will naturally acclimatize to your authenticity. They may need a little time to get used to it, but they will indeed get used to it and then come to know you as someone who now unapologetically speaks their truth – which is a pretty rad thing.

Basically the process of you sticking with it, even when it’s tough in the beginning, will reveal to you your honest and true friends, family and soul tribe.

How to increase the confidence when it comes to speaking your truth

Feeling confident about ourselves goes hand in hand with speaking our truth. So to enhance our success and our feeling of acceptance both internally and externally we must also develop our confidence and give ourselves mega acknowledgment.

The 30 Day Radical Self Love Program is designed for this exact transformation and inner development work. And if you haven’t scooped up your program yet try these on in the mean time:

1. Do more of what you are naturally good at.

When we put ourselves into situations where we will naturally shine our confidence gets a massive boosting. We all have a couple things we know we are just rockstars at, give yourself permission to do more of those things and make it a regular daily occurrence.

2. Walk through life with an engaged core.

Yup I’m talking about flexing those tummy muscles. When we activate our core we hold ourselves higher AND on an energetic level we activate our solar plexus which is our storage unit for confidence, self assuredness and self love. Practice tightening your core any time you are walking or sitting. If you really wanna take it up a couple notches add a plank exercise into your daily routine. Holding plank pose is a fabulous way to develop those muscles, activate the core, tone everything up and activate the yummy self confidence waiting to be set free in your solar plexus.

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3. Give yourself some credit.

We are often so focused on where we are lacking that we deplete our self confidence and self love tank without even noticing what we are doing. Giving gratitude and acknowledgement to yourself for all the greatness you are up to helps strengthen our confidence in a massive way. When we are thriving in positivity land we can HEAR the voice of our intuition clearly. When we can hear our intuition it is much easier to act on it’s guidance. To act on the intuition’s guidance is to act in our own integrity.

4. Remember this is a process.

We can be so hard on ourselves when we don’t see immediate results when it comes to shifts in our personal development. Remember this is much like training at the gym. You won’t see results right away after a workout, but with consistency and repetition you will one day look in the mirror and be blown away with the epic results you have achieved. The same goes for our self love and inner journeys. It will take time. Be patient and loving and enjoy flowing with the journey of your own awakening.

The more you begin to get comfortable with saying no to things that are really a no and yes to things that are really a yes your quality of life quickly begins to skyrocket. You have every right to thrive, be happy and live a life that honours your internal knowing.

No two people will have the same life experience so it is up to you to claim what works for you and what doesn’t coming from a place of respect, kindness, love and peace.

People will do what they do and say what they say and in the end none of it has anything to do with you. 

Keep rockin your truth lovers! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

For all those ready to ROCK your 30 Day Radical Self Love Journey sign up here to get started: www.kelseygrant.com/30dayprogram

From Passion to Paycheck: Fundamental Lessons In Bringing Your Passion to the World- Day 204: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Today was yet another productive and creative filled day. I shot the info video for our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program which launches on Monday!!!! One of the things I love most about making videos is the process. I … Continue reading