***This post originated on my personal site a few weeks ago, since hitting some technical malfunctions I’m re-posting these holiday blogs here for continued accessibility over the holidays while we get everything back up and running on our main site*** … Continue reading
Today I got triggered in a big time way.
Inside of this triggering breakdown I had the chance to reach out and ask for support from my partner.
As soon as the trigger was activated, instead of letting it fester, I asked for support and if I could clear something with him that was activating an experience of upset and stress within me. Of course he said yes- he is incredible that way.
We dialogued for about 20 minutes while I cleared what I needed and gave him the stage to contribute his perspective and coaching my way. I let it in and found some peace around my challenge.
Then we headed out to adventure and find a new coffee shop to work in.
When we arrived at the coffee shop we continued our conversation and explored the deeper lessons and reasons why I was so triggered and upset. Inside of this very vulnerable exploration I was overwhelmed with emotion and I teared up.
I cried in the coffee shop
And it was incredibly freeing.
It was a testament to how far I’ve come along my journey. In a big time way I was able to be completely present to what was going on with me and not give a shit about where I was or the fact being gently emotional in public might make me “look bad” to anyone watching.
It didn’t matter because for one of the first times in my life, the exploration and expression of my wellbeing no longer dependant on the level of comfort people around me. My healing and gentle release was top priority. I allowed myself to completely be in my experience without stuffing it down or pretending I wasn’t hurting. I gave myself the freedom to just BE.
Years ago I wouldn’t have been caught ever showing emotion in public never mind being vulnerable enough to allow someone into the most intimately sacred parts of myself and courageously outing my insecurities. I would have shut it down immediately and saved it for a more “acceptable” time and place- which in all honesty meant I just wouldn’t deal with it.
This RSL journey has supported me in accessing deep and profound levels of self acceptance through my ever growing understanding and application of self love. My free self expression allowed me to constructively clear what needed to be let go of and created the space for deeper intimacy and connection between my partner and I.
I acknowledge my partner for the strength to hold space for me today and within that space anchor in more acceptance, compassion and connection.
I acknowledge myself for the courage it took to be boldly honest and deal with something immediately so that I could find a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness and self expression.
Passing a spiritual test with grace and compassion = levelling up to the next stage of greatness
Crying and the most raw and authentic self expression in the moment = freedom. Beautiful, pure freedom.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Wow! Epic masculine vulnerability ahead!
I came across this incredibly raw, real and authentic video from a fellow Awesomeness Fest tribe member Jonathan Budd today. Jonathan is such an inspirational leader in our Afest family and such a positive inspiration in the world and he just took that greatness to a whole new level of awesomeness.
In this 30 minute video he vulnerably shares his journey of Radical Self Love. This is such a courageous story and he zones in around the 21 minute mark as to why doing this work is so freaking important for our journey.
Have a watch, get ready to hear some radical real talk and best of all see that where ever you are, whatever you are going through, whatever you’ve gone through you are not alone and it is completely ok and acceptable to own your journey just as it’s been and to give yourself permission to “do the work”.
You are worthy, you are deserving and you are so loved above all else ❤
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Homework is an awesome thing 😉
My assignment today in B-School was to ask my community what my 3 greatest qualities are. I sent out the question to my network and so far have received some pretty wonderful answers.
When my partner arrived home I asked him to share what he thought, his response: “Beautifully open, abundantly authentic and unconditionally loving”.
Pretty freaking awesome.
Then we decided to go a little deeper and do a mini interview with each other. This was a exercise we both learned in a personal development training program that we hadn’t yet done with each other. Everything happens at the perfect time.
The interview was 5 questions.
The way it is set up is that you ask questions about yourself and the other person answers to give you insight into how you occur to them, or in other words who they see you as.
He went first. Which meant I had to answer questions about him. In all honesty I was a little bit nervous, which I observed but continued on with the interview.
The answers that came out of my mouth really surprised me as they required me to go deeper than a surface conversation and to really give him access to who he is to me.
Then it was my turn. I asked the same series of questions and he got to give me access to who I am to me.
A pretty heart opening conversation to say the least.
Among my strengths:
An ability to see the unseen in people and in their lives and an ability to support people through the process of seeing their unconscious or unseen elements in a safe and loving environment.
Among my weaknesses:
Not fully believing in myself or my abilities.
Among the things I can be counted on for:
To be unconditionally loving and nurturing to those in my life.
Among the things I can never be counted on for:
To miss details of any kind.
Among the things my community collectively knows about me:
I will always see them as their greatness and lend support no matter what.
Pretty f’ing cool. So what started as a homework assignment turned into a pretty incredible conversation and opportunity to deepen our bond and really understand more fully who we really are to eachother in this partnership.
Feeling pretty loved and filled with gratitude.
What this exercise has reminded me of
That the conversations that matter the most in life wont always be the easiest ones to have. The deeply juicy, life changing, heart opening, vulnerability cracking, authenticity revealing conversations that call us to connect on a way more profound level will take something to start.
They will take courage
They will take bravery
They will take love
They will take vulnerability
They will take feeling your fear and resistance and stepping through it
They will take you showing up for yourself and for your life.
These real, raw and revealing conversations are what remind us of our humanity, of our connection and of our ability to live in love’s example. This goodness is possible if we choose to step up and step into the call of our hearts.
All things are possible with an open heart and the power of love.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
I am so grateful and honoured to have been asked to write two guest posts this month for the amazing team over at Young and Raw.
They are rawking the theme of love and relationships this month and it was so perfectly perfect they asked me to contribute some relationship and self love wisdom to their community!
To make sure all of you lovers get in on the action too here is a like to the guest blog!
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Fear is a Liar. It wasn’t too long ago when I was living a completely different life. I was in a relationship that didn’t call me to my greatness, I was doing things in my life to make others happy … Continue reading
This morning I awoke to a lovely surprise from my man.
Ahhhemm!! Mind. Gutter. Out. Meow.
If your your mind went into the gutter as mind did right after I wrote that sentence, have a little giggle, keep that smile beaming and lets move on 😉
This morning he brought me breakfast in bed…well more like a breakfast smoothy in bed…and breakfast none the less. In our beautiful little life together I am usually the one who rocks the food prep and food creation. You know what is nice…occasionally breaking out of those roles and doing kind and loving things for each other.
I honestly love this role I take on in our relationship. Making food and rocking the home front to me is a pleasure. I love cooking, I love being creative and I love rocking my creation in a clean clear space. For me cleaning allows me to experience peace of mind and a sense of pride and accomplishment. Now and again though it sure is rad to have those things taken care of. The only reason this is a peaceful and enjoyable situation is because my partner and I have clearly communicated our areas of strength and interest when it comes to keeping the home and we also openly communicate our needs and requests to be in harmony with our own personal values.
This is one of the things that makes my relationship so fantastical and my partner so darn special. He is super aware and understands the value in both of us contributing to the home, to the relationship and to each other just like I do. To get to this place has taken trial and experimentation. Living with a partner while incredible, will take some effort on both sides. Coming together in this way takes hyper awareness and a commitment on both ends to co-creating a rocking relationship.
We all have our models of the world-we learn these models through our upbringing and our personal life experience. So when it comes to living together we have to respect ourselves enough to create the environment where you can both get curious about each other’s way of being and way of life.
Word to the wise
The way your partner lives and does life may be different than yours, most likely it is, and it is in no way wrong or worse than yours. We are all brought up different and we all value different things. Why does this fall into the “respecting yourself “category you may be wondering. Simple. Imposing your reality and un-communicated expectations onto anyone is an act of disrespect.
You have every right to be happy and fulfilled in a relationship and your access point to this happiness and respect is communicating your expectations and partaking in open, expansive and co-creation dialogue with your partner. When you make an authentic effort to understand your partners model of the world there is a very high probability they too will want to understand yours (If they really don’t want to understand and co-create with you it is an indication that perhaps it’s time for this relationship to come to a close).
When you are both in the energy of curiosity, acceptance and love you then enter this beautiful space where you can consciously co-create the unique relationship only the two of you can have.
When it comes to communication no one is perfect
It may take a few times to really get these conversations flowing in a positive direction. People are so used to being judged that at first, curious discussion may trigger an automatic response of defence. If this does happen keep your calm, remind yourself you are asking from a place of pure love with the intention of co-creating an even more harmonious relationship. Sometimes you may have to reassure your partner of this intention, especially if this type of conversation or dialogue is out of the ordinary in your relationship.
Also remember you don’t have all the answers and you are just doing the best you can with the tools you have. As you open to new paradigms of communication, relating and harmonious partnership you will be given new tools to implement. Give yourself some grace if you mess up. If you don’t “get it right” on the first go, learn from what didn’t work and fine tune your approach for the next time. That is how we grow and design a life and a relationship that mirrors what our hearts truly desire.
So if you want some help around the house let your partner know, if you have needs or expectations that you’ve been suppressing share with your partner. Let them authentically know how their contribution makes your world a better place, ask for what you need and be open to hearing what they need to thrive. Ultimately this kind of dialogue begins the co-creation of something really special!
RSL’s Rockstar Relationship Training starts January 2014. Email us for more details if you are digging all this relationship content and are looking for the tangible how to’s to put all of this into practice! More love, more happiness and rocking relationships…2014 it’s ON!!! For more deets email us here @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!