How do I love myself?
I get asked this question a lot and I love it every time.
As we all some how know, the first step in transforming or changing anything is realizing there is a need for the change. This question illustrates a desire to be better, a desire for a more rich and fulfilling human experience. We all deserve to have a beautiful and fulfilling life and we are the only ones who can actually make that happen.
Here are the 11 fundamental basics when hoping onto the self love train!
The How to for Loving You
1. Make a declaration. This is the ultimate first step. Nothing will change unless you put your foot down and declare that it will. Doing so is an incredibly empowering and powerful act. When you make a declaration of this kind the Universe begins to conspire with you immediately to bring to your awareness evidence of that which you seek, the circumstances most impactful for your growth and evolution and support in so many ways you can’t even imagine!
2. Stop playing the victim. You must, must, must, begin to step out of the blame game. Life isn’t happening to you it is responding to what you are putting out and who you are being moment to moment. You will have to step up and claim 100% responsibility for yourself and your life. If you have experienced hardship (we all have) have compassion with yourself and release yourself from the trap of giving up your power (blaming/playing the victim) and the trap of making yourself wrong for the experiences and circumstances of your life until now. Embracing this wisdom “we are always doing the best we can with the tools we have” helps to diffuse the ego and surrender into the expansiveness of the human experience.
3. Build up your muscles of seeking good. We all can get better at this. Even the top leaders in the world can seek out the worst in things- however, they make a conscious choice not too. They instead know their energy is better invested into seeking the good, finding the underlying lesson inside of contrast and viewing the world through the lens of possibility and love.
4. Quiet your mind. An over active untrained mind will always default to worrying, anxiety and fear. You do have the power to shift that pattern. Sit with yourself once a day and be still, be quiet, experience solitude. If there is a lot of healing to do being with yourself sans distractions will most likely be uncomfortable at first. So create an environment of success and start small. Almost everyone can sit in silence with themselves for 2 minutes a day. Start there. When you feel a calmness and sense of peace enter your stillness increase your time. Doing so will support you in building a successful meditation practice.
5. Take care of your body. This is your vessel for experiencing the world. Treat it with love and respect. Be mindful of what you put into your body and create the time to physically move your body each day. This might mean giving up late night TV in exchange for being able to get up earlier in the day or rock a workout after your day is done. Move your body, stretch, relax and nurture your body. Feed yourself with high vibrational food as often as possible. No one else is going to do this for you. Step it up.
6. Learn how to think. Begin the process of cultivating stronger more positive thought patterns. Mental activity and idle thought does not count as thinking. Thinking is consciously directing your thought and energy patterns to be in alignment with the life you desire and your intended outcome. If you are desiring financial abundance and the only thing you constantly focus on in your thoughts is your perceived lack, your thoughts are out of alignment with what you want. You must train yourself to do this. Begin by bringing your awareness to your thoughts. Take notice of the general theme. From there you can dive into the world of programming positive and building constructive thought patterns.
7. Give up self defeating and diminishing talk. The way you speak to yourself is the invitation you send out into the world for how you want to be treated. Stop being so hard on yourself- speak kindly within and without. If you said the things out loud to others that you say to yourself you would most likely not have many friends left. So why oh why would you speak to yourself like that? You are a beautiful being and deserve love and kindness. Being hard on you only tanks your energy and diminishes your ability to love yourself and others.
8. Be of service. Taking the focus of the ego’s drama via service of others is the quickest way to open your heart more and connect you with the innate goodness within everyone and everything. Whether it is opening the door for a stranger, volunteering your time and energy, creating art, making a friend dinner, smiling at a stranger on the street- being of service activates the heart in the most extraordinary ways.
9. Build up a daily discipline. Self love is a practice and a daily discipline. It takes showing up each and every day as your best version. This muscle is built through building constructive daily disciplines. Commit to yourself and design a routine that empowers you. My daily discipline is simple- invest minimum 30 minutes into learning/personal development (#6), drinking minimum one litre of water a day and either writing, reflecting or speaking my gratitude. These daily disciplines keep my vibes high, my energy in alignment and inspire me to take empowered actions throughout the day.
10. Acknowledge others. What you do unto others you have already done to yourself. Sometimes it is easier to notice the goodness others are up to so do it. It feels good to share your acknowledgement and it ensures the other person feels seen, appreciated and valued. In turn you unknowingly cultivate those same feelings about yourself when you give another person your appreciation. These moments can change a life and sometimes save one. Do more, share more and leave a lasting imprint of love everywhere you go.
11. Acknowledge yourself. This will have multiple positive impacts. It will help you break away from the addiction we all have of seeking validation and approval of others. It will also ensure you are always acknowledged for the greatness you are beaming out into the world each day. Lastly it will boost your confidence and your knowingness that you are a capable, competent, brilliant and incredible human- which is where the growth of self love will stem from.
There is much to this path of Radical Self Love-which is why we have build a community and a company to support you lovers in the development of this incredible aspect of life. In our continued commitment to supporting and loving the crap out of you all, this is what we have brewing at RSL in the coming months:
- A weekly free video series exploring the how to’s of self love and successful relationships
- A new website YUMMMMY!!
- The Free 7 Day Radical Self Love Challenge
- Our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program
- Our RSL 1-1 coaching packages
- The Conscious Breakup: 15 Self Love Lessons To Open To Love Again- E-Book
- More lovetastic music
- Free radical self love meditations
- An interactive 6 week Radical Self Love for Relationships course
- And more monthly RSL workshops!!!
Stay tuned as we beam these beauties out to you all!! If there is something you would really like to see us cover or teach at RSL leave us a comment below. We are here for you lovers! xo
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!