What To Do When Tempted To Act Out Old Patterns- Day 336: 365 Radical Self Love Project

It is no secret that the path of Radical Self Love calls us to examine ourselves, our beliefs and our patterns.

radical self love kelsey grantFor the majority of us we have a collection of patterns and beliefs drummed up by our ego’s that have been repeated on automatic default settings in our brains for a large majority of our lives.

Often there is a defining moment in our lives when we are awoken from this unconsciousness and begin to question ourselves, our motivations, our patterns of behaviour and ultimately question who we are and why we are here.

As we begin to dive into the world of self reflection and discovery we begin to see how the functions of our ego have lead us into some less than desirable situations. The ego is rooted in fear and fear never leads us to the path of fulfillment and bliss.

If we truly desire to remember who we are and return to our natural state which is bliss we must consciously examine the behaviours and thoughts of an ego or fear based mind. Once examined we must begin to consciously question these behaviours and thoughts to honestly determine if they are truly serving our highest good. The final stage is choosing better high quality love based thoughts and establishing more empowering behaviours.

When tempted to act out old patterns of the ego here are three questions to bring yourself back to the vibe of possibility, potential and love:

1. What would love do right now?

2. Would love do what I’m about to do?

3. Would love say what I’m about to say?

Then the key is to LISTEN honestly to the answer your inner guidance will give you and act in accordance to this guidance.

Often old patterns are triggered anytime we feel vulnerable, open and our hearts are exposed. The work of RSL is designed to crack open the shells around your heart to open you up to the fullness of love and authentic connection. It is inevitable along this path that when we feel open and exposed the ego will do anything it can to shut down this opening and build the familiar fear walls right back up.

The only one who has the power to dissolve the walls around your heart is you. Dissolving these walls is essential to the manifestation of heart to heart connections with other human beings, to the manifestation of your dreams and potential and to the manifestation of your own self awareness which is the biggest gift of all.

The reason people avoid doing the work is because you can’t un-know something. When we learn these aspects about ourselves and our default ego settings, from that point forward each time the egoic patterns surface and we act on them it becomes a conscious choice. Most people don’t want to be honest and own that they are choosing to act out fears plan instead of their highest potential which is always rooted in love. The only way we can shift these patterns, thoughts and behaviours is through our conscious choice to change and choose love.

It is all up to you, are you open, willing and ready to choose love?

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!


If you would like support in learning to choose love and say YES to your great potential join in on our 30 Day Radical Self Love Program!!

Super Moon Intensity and A Lil Social Media Break- Day 225: 365 Radical Self Love

Yesterday was the second new moon this month, otherwise known as a  supermoon, it also happened to be the beginning of a New Year cycle in the Chinese calendar.

supermoon-01Due to the rare nature of this occurrence we can really use these new energies to our advantage. We are entering the year of the wooden horse which simply put is about prosperity, happiness and freedom. Pair this with the super new moon which is a great place for planting seeds of manifestation and getting clear on what we want to bring into creation.

The energies of the next few days are the ripe soil to plant your desires. It is a fabulous time to do some conscious creation and be very mindful of the thoughts you are thinking, the emotions you are feeling and the actions you are taking.

Given the intense energy of the super new moon it may bring up a lot of emotions or cause the mind to run wild. If this is happening a conscious deep breathing exercise is so important right now. Deep breathing calms the nervous system which triggers in the brain that you are ok and there is no actual threat to you. It also stabilizes the emotional mind and allows you the space to rationally reframe the creativity of the emotional mind.

Something I have been really present to lately is how creative our imaginations actually are. We also generally use this imagination to dream up the worst possible scenarios. When we allow our imaginations to go off on these types of tangents we are planting seeds in the soil of our minds. These are seeds of fear and of things we don’t actually want to have happen.


To shift this pattern and to use your imagination to your benefit and for the greatest good for you and all involved we must begin to consciously shift our habitual practice of fantasizing about the negative and instead train our brains to focus on what we want and creatively fantasizing about the best case scenario.

The first step of this is awareness. We must be aware of how much our mind “goes off the deep end”. Then when we notice it has attempted to go on it’s negative creating spree, stop it with a new train of thought.

This new train of thought doesn’t punish you for having the negative creating thought- since that is just more fear and negativity. This habit is often disguised as a moral judgement of right or wrong thinking. This unconscious habit which punishes us for “doing wrong” is a another sneaky face of fear and it something we must embrace through the lens of love.

black-heart-wallpaper-9297-hd-wallpapersLove is kind and accepting. It doesn’t punish or make wrong. It seeks to understand, it sees the divinity which flows through all people, all thoughts and all circumstances of our human lives. Love is forgiving. Love says

“I have chosen a thought that is outside of what I wish to create, I have chosen a thought of fear as a product of my past conditioning and I have all the power within me to transform this habit and replace it with a love based consciousness. I choose to forgive myself for this choice and choose a new thought aligned with love. If I were to dream in a love consciousness what would I be thinking about right now?”

Then wait. The thoughts of love will come.

Then the thoughts of fear will probably creep back in. When they do, take a deep breath and remember that building a new habit takes time, consistency and repetition and this is all part of the process. Begin to see these experiences of fear from a higher place where you understand your ego and fear consciousness is trying to pull out all the stops to keep your from stepping into your power and your bliss, and anything you experience as contrast, pain or upset is all a function of the illusion of fear.

It may take some time to really “get” this for yourself. Keep up the practice of noticing when you have a disempowering thought and then change it as soon as possible. With a committed practice the space between the breakdown (negative creating) and the breakthrough (positive creating) becomes shorter and shorter.

Here is also another thing to keep in mind.

You are human and breakdowns are part of the journey. It may be your path to reach enlightenment where the fear consciousness is completely dissolved from your experience and it may be your path to learn how to navigate it gracefully and efficiently or it may be anywhere in between.

  • Be patient with yourself
  • Learn self reliance
  • Learn to reach out for support when you need it
  • Practice self compassion and forgiveness

(Forgiveness removes a block in you, to your awareness of love’s presence)

imagesInside of the Radical Self Love Journey we learn through trial and experimentation what our needs are, what triggers us the most, the places we feel most raw and vulnerable and then we beam love and compassion into those spaces. We learn to fill ourselves up internally instead of relying on others to give us this sense of self worth, validation or confirmation.

You are your own best guide and the path of Radical Self Love will support you in uncovering it. Every part of your process and your journey is required for your highest good and highest evolution. You are a beautiful and incredible contribution to the world and playing BIG is your access point to epic inner transformation and beaming a new love based consciousness into this world.

Where you are is perfect.

Take some time today to disconnect from the distractions and reconnect within.

I’ll be taking a social media breather today and instead going outside, spending time with my family and revelling in the beauty of this moment. Today I will also be planting some positive, empowered and love filled intentions into the soil of my mind and heart. It’s a fabulous day to take some time out for you, focus on what you want and begin the new practice of fantasizing about the BEST possible outcome, the BEST case scenario and ALL of your dreams and ambitions.

Wishing you all a beautiful and love filled creation day!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!