The Coffee Shop Cry: Lessons In Personal Freedom – Day 339: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Today I got triggered in a big time way.

As the magical universe would have it I was spiritually tested this afternoon to express and dig even deeper to expand my capacity for forgiveness.
radical self love kelsey grant

Inside of this triggering breakdown I had the chance to reach out and ask for support from my partner.

As soon as the trigger was activated, instead of letting it fester, I asked for support and if I could clear something with him that was activating an experience of upset and stress within me. Of course he said yes- he is incredible that way.

We dialogued for about 20 minutes while I cleared what I needed and gave him the stage to contribute his perspective and coaching my way. I let it in and found some peace around my challenge.

Then we headed out to adventure and find a new coffee shop to work in.

When we arrived at the coffee shop we continued our conversation and explored the deeper lessons and reasons why I was so triggered and upset. Inside of this very vulnerable exploration I was overwhelmed with emotion and I teared up.

I cried in the coffee shop

And it was incredibly freeing.

It was a testament to how far I’ve come along my journey. In a big time way I was able to be completely present to what was going on with me and not give a shit about where I was or the fact being gently emotional in public might make me “look bad” to anyone watching.

It didn’t matter because for one of the first times in my life, the exploration and expression of my wellbeing no longer dependant on the level of comfort people around me. My healing and gentle release was top priority. I allowed myself to completely be in my experience without stuffing it down or pretending I wasn’t hurting. I gave myself the freedom to just BE.

radical self love kelsey grant

Years ago I wouldn’t have been caught ever showing emotion in public never mind being vulnerable enough to allow someone into the most intimately sacred parts of myself and courageously outing my insecurities. I would have shut it down immediately and saved it for a more “acceptable” time and place- which in all honesty meant I just wouldn’t deal with it.

This RSL journey has supported me in accessing deep and profound levels of self acceptance through my ever growing understanding and application of self love. My free self expression allowed me to constructively clear what needed to be let go of and created the space for deeper intimacy and connection between my partner and I.

radical self love kelsey grant

I acknowledge my partner for the strength to hold space for me today and within that space anchor in more acceptance, compassion and connection.

I acknowledge myself for the courage it took to be boldly honest and deal with something immediately so that I could find a deeper sense of freedom, forgiveness and self expression.

Passing a spiritual test with grace and compassion = levelling up to the next stage of greatness

Crying and the most raw and authentic self expression in the moment = freedom. Beautiful, pure freedom.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

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The Benefits of Being Real In Relationships-Day 338: 365 Radical Self Love Project

As my RSL journey has unfolded I’ve become more tuned into my passion and love for relationships.

Inside of this passion I’ve been noticing some behaviours in the dating and relationship world that deeply repel love in really sneaky ways.

This is one of the main reasons why I was called to write the first RSL ebook “Sabotaged Love- The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want”. 

One of the archetypes I explore in the book is The Chase and Dodger. This archetype thrives on the thrill of the chase. It knows what to say, how to say it, when to say it to keep their “interest” interested. The thrill of chasing and pursuit is strong in this archetype and once they get what they say they want almost instantaneously loose interest.

While I won’t dive into why this archetype shows up I will offer you some very solid coaching on how to lovingly approach and handle these types of dynamics.

The best and only way to approach people with this archetype is to be straight up. Be real. Be honest- like all out on the table honest- right from the beginning.

radical self love kelsey grant

This archetype only wants to pursue someone who is OK with ambivalence, ok with the grey zone and ok with a lack of clarity and grown up communication. The hint of any real talk spooks this archetype and they fast track themselves into the second aspect of their behaviour which is to dodge- dodge talking, dodge clarity, dodge commitment anything deemed as restricting their idea of freedom will send them running for the hills.

You might be wondering why clear communication is a good thing with these archetypes if they spook easily. To know where you stand with yourself means you are in your power, you are in alignment with your heart. When you are in this alignment you attract people who are playing at the same level. People with honest and true intentions, who have dealt with their shit, and are willing to be real and vulnerable can only be attracted into your life when you are being this way. People harbouring this archetype are, at the present time, unable to reciprocate this honesty and transparency, which leads you to know with deep certainty they are not the perfect partner for your precious heart.

Have the courage to pull out the real card, get honest and tell the truth about how you feel will filter out the chase and dodge types nearly immediately. This way your time isn’t wasted playing cat and mouse dating games and you support the vibration of love in the world by not buying in and feeding their ego archetype.
radical self love kelsey grant

Being real with a new potential partner is either going to freak out and run away or they will be excited and relieved because you are both on the same page. Either way you are taken care of. If they run away- it is a massive blessing from the Universe protecting you from a potential painful future heartache. The people who run away are NOT your perfect partner. No matter how we reason, justify or try and manipulate it, the fact is the perfect partner for you is the one who meets everything you are looking for and is willing to invest themselves into the relationship 100%. This means the perfect partner for you is someone who is available in every sense, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually.

If someone freaks out because you love yourself enough to respect what you want and have the courage to boldly communicate your desires- they are not the perfect person for you. Let them run, eventually they will face themselves and once they do they too will be able to find themselves in the arms of their perfect match.

radical self love kelsey grantYou are so deeply worthy of a love that fills you up and a partner who is truly available to you and your heart. Honour yourself, be radically real and raise those standards baby! By declaring how you feel and what you are looking for right away you confirm your relationship order with the Universe. You have to act in alignment with your desires in order to bring them to fruition.

I knew my ideal partner would have to be someone who was capable of hearing my truth but also open and conscious enough to speak his truth and what his heart was calling for. Ever since I uncovered this nugget of wisdom years ago my dating life has become this beautiful, exciting and respectful place to dwell.

There is an ease present when both people know what the parameters of the union are and are in full agreement with the co-creation.

My relationship now is a testament to my clarity and willingness to speak my truth over and over and over. My heart is happy and my relationship is thriving. Being honest may not bring you the immediate result (person) you were hoping for but it will always deliver you exactly what you ask for (the perfect person for YOU) if you open your mind and heart to receive it.

If you would like to receive a copy of the first RSL ebook before we release it to the world hop onto our mailing list to join the community who will receive first dibs on reading this juicy book! You can join our list over at our website www.kelseygrant.com

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!

Kels

Saying Goodbye, Getting Real and Taking Relationship Connection To A New Level Of Greatness- Day 281: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Tomorrow my man takes off for 2 weeks of work training.

With that being said today’s post will be shorter than most as we make the most of our last day together for a couple weeks.

This is a huge step forward for us and a massive opportunity to heal and really move into the next chapter of our conscious love story. So to make the most of it we declared the entire day to our relationship and having fun with each other.

radical self love kelsey grantWe got up early and went to a hot yoga class together.

Came home made breakfast I did a couple things around the house and gave myself a 20 min max for responding to important messages and being on social media.

Then we headed out to Granville market to grab stuff for dinner, do a little shopping and enjoy one of my favourite places to go for date day.

We followed the market up with a trip to one of our fav coffee shops and did some creation and brainstorming for his project.

Then our ego’s flared

Upon detached reflection I think this was our ego’s (or at least mine) attempt of avoiding addressing feeling sad and emotional for this time apart- and it lead a little mini breakdown in communication.

The breakdown in communication ultimately lead to the uncovering of my vulnerability and sadness of him leaving. While logically I know everything is going to be ok and I have worked through the anxiety of this massive step (for us) there was still a sadness around him leaving.

We got to explore the feelings and get out what needed to get out. I allowed myself to be true to myself and honour my feelings and show him that I truly was going to miss him. That realness and vulnerability is what truly brought us closer today. Sure all the fun stuff we did today was fabulous for the memory bank however the true heart merging occurred when I was ok enough with not being ok to show him exactly where I was at and what I was feeling underneath the strong exterior.

From this release, opening and connection we solidified our communication plan, made sure all of our modes of technology were working and set out to have a great night together, make some home made pizza and embrace this new chapter with as much positivity, realness and possibility we are capable of.

So off I go to have an incredible night with my man and say goodbye in the most honest, real and loving way I can 🙂

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Why Relationships Bring Out Our Shadow- Day 269: 365 Radical Self Love Project

“Demons”- Imagine Dragons

I’ve had this jam on all weekend.

When I find something I like I consume it big time especially when it comes to music.

What I particularily like about this rendition of “Demons” originally by Imagine Dragons but performed here by Kina Grannis and Tyler Ward, is the beautiful blending and harmony of two incredible voices, the originality of the musical arrangement and the deep feeling both of them are emoting through their performance.

Embracing the shadow in love

As I’ve been embracing elements of my shadow this week in relation to my relationship this song really resonates. We all have “demons” and they are all hidden within the corners of our mind, body and soul. When we find ourselves in relationships there is often a time when when our shit starts to surface.

At the start of a relationship we are pretty open, we are in the bliss of love and our hearts are blasted right open. Then something happens. We start to change. Things become more challenging- our shadows begin to emerge.

The beautiful spiritual purpose of intimate relationships is to evolve, transform and open to our truth. How do we get there? We gotta go through the shit. All the crap we have accumulated over a lifetime of believing in fear or at least making agreement with it. We gotta undo all of it. The more we undo the higher we fly- the freer we become.

The purpose of intimate love is to set us free- free from the illusions of our ego and into the bliss of our hearts the bliss of love.

To experience love in its purest forms and in all its glory we must become aware of all the blocks we have to love and then consciously do the work to dissolve them. We have to heal ourselves. We have to let love in.

Romantic relationships are the greatest access point to our healing.

They will open us, crack us open and then shine the spotlight into those deep dark corners of our being. Our shadow will be called out. At first if we are unaware it will seem like the relationship is falling apart and beliefs like “love shouldn’t be this hard” or “love is supposed to be easy” are what keep us trapped in the illusion.

What we are being called towards every single time shit hits the fan in love is to go within. Look at what part of our shadow is wanting to be made seen. What “demon” is ready to be let go of.

Why this happens in relationships

Because it is only in the energy of love that we can truly heal these elements of our being. When our hearts are deeply connected to another there is an opening to the divine. There is an exchange of love’s bliss. It is in this highest vibration that all darkness can be transmuted. In the divinity of intimate relationship we have the chance to dive in, swim to the depths of our being and come out alive. The energy of love is safe. On a soul level we all understand this and so we are drawn into relationships with the exact people who will help us heal the most.

This is why we may have many partners in a lifetime. Each relationship will take us into different layers and levels of who we are. All of it is a beautiful exploration if we let ourselves perceive it that way. Relationships bring out our shadows so we can learn to become greater versions of ourselves, understand fully and lovingly embrace the totality of being.

When we can make friends with our shadow we have passed the soul lesson. We have many shadows and many lessons. So when we bring curiosity, awareness and love into our relationship mix we access infinate potential for massive soul expansion and deep human connection.

Who knew our shadows could bring to us something so beautiful and deeply fulfilling 😉

For more relationship goodness hit me up at rsl@kelseygrant.com as I’m currently working on a new relationship program coming this spring!  If you are interested in going deeper and stepping up your love game lets connect and get the conversation started!!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

The Sexiest Thing a Man Can Ever Do. Day 179: 365 Radical Self Love Project

I am constantly blown away by the calibre of men in my life now. I’ll be honest with you it wasn’t always this way.

radical self loveI’ve made my journey through the most contrasting of relationships and dynamics with men. Men who are doing the best they can to express their understanding of what being masculine truly means. What I’ve learned from those men is what sexiness isn’t. To me sexiness isn’t the best dressed or machismo displays of dominance, “power” or strength. To me it isn’t the man who can outsmart and belittle others or the one who no matter what show he always has it together. It’s not the man who coolly supresses his emotions and plays it cool with women. It’s not the man with the best hair cut or the super cut body. It’s not any of those things.

A return to the true masculine- the sacred masculine.

I completely understand those types of sexiness and those types of masculine displays need to exist. To me they showcase a very valuable piece to our evolution. They show us the massive impact of a world where a lot of men are brutally cut off from the freedom to be. The freedom to be just how and who they are and be loved and accepted. It illuminates, through contrast, the immense possibility and potential we hold as a human collective to make things better. It shows us the pain, anger and destruction that comes from cutting off the emotions, the intuition and the feminine.

We all have masculine and feminine aspects within us. We have both sets of hormones just in different levels. Men obviously have more testosterone and women more estrogen. Here is the thing men have estrogen and women have testosterone. What this tells us on a spiritual level is that both genders are meant to learn, embrace and allow the lessons and power of the non-dominant energy within them. To do so causes the experience of balance, inner calm and inner peace. When women learn to balance their emotional and intuitive strengths with the energies of logic, rational and strength we see a emergence of women who are powerful beyond belief and who are humble, who are kind, who are compassionate and who can stand their ground when they need to.

radical self love

Likewise when men learn to balance their dominant energies of strength, forward motion, decisiveness and power with the more subtle feminine energies of receptivity, intuition and compassion we see an emergence of men who are powerful leaders, who instinctively understand the diverse nature of the human experience who then can use their powers of guidance to lead people toward their own empowerment. We see an emergence of men who not only know how to listen but also know the incredible power which resides within truly listening, they understand the value of being in touch and very aware of their emotions and find constructive ways to channel them. A man who is balanced in these energies is clear. Energetically he is strong, psychologically people know he can be relied on and is trustworthy. Men in their power understand the gift of vulnerability. 

The sexiest thing a man can ever do is to allow himself to express his vulnerability with power and clarity.

radical self loveThere is nothing else like it in the entire world. A man who is so connected and clear about who he is, doesn’t give a shit what other people will think or say if he speaks his truth. When he shares honestly what is up for him, what he’s been through and where he has fucked up he opens the space of possibility, rapport and leadership. He knows by doing so he will give other men and women the external permission they are seeking to do the same. He not only can be honest about his shortcomings but will also learn from them, and he will use this learning for his greatest good and the greatest good for all those who have the privilege and honour of meeting him.

He has learned spiritual surrender and knows inside of this surrender is where his true power resides. He knows by taking down his walls his power can radiate into the world and when his authentic power radiates into the world his mission and purpose can be wildly fulfilled. 

The sexiest thing a man can ever do is be real.

Real with himself and real with others. He is courageous enough to be real in such a way where communities are inspired to step into their greatness and bravely live their truth. This level of integrity, strength, honesty and raw vulnerability is the sexiest thing a man can do in my eyes.

radical self love kelsey grantI am so blessed I have a man of this calibre as my partner. Every day he continues to expand into his greatness and be a stand for what he knows in his heart to be true. He is a fearless leader, a loving and supportive partner and a courageous example of the journey of the sacred masculine. He is a powerful source of inspiration and guidance to many, myself included. A man who is willing to receive guidance, a man who shows me all of him, a man who is connected spiritually, emotionally and physically in this lifetime. A man who bears his soul so that others may find their own power and strength again. A man who reminds the world to love, to be a contribution and that we all have something of incredible value to share with this world.

Our experiences are given to us for many reasons one of which is to bravely and constructively share them with the minds an hearts of the masses. A truly powerful man understands this and leads by incredible example.

I am honoured to have a partner who has chosen to be all of this for the world and who continually shows up to do the sexiest thing a man can ever do- be real, be raw and be vulnerable. I know just by his and his circle of influence’s impact we will see a beautiful transformation in the minds and hearts of men and women for lifetimes to come.

With deep and loving gratitude to all the men who show up this way for the world, you are honoured, you are valued and you are so very loved!

Thank you for all you do to make this world a better, gentler and loving place to be.

Radical Self Love to the Max

Kels

Consistency: It’s The Secret Ingredient to Success- Day 174: 365 Radical Self Love Project

How are you so consistent?

I have heard this exact same question or versions of it all week long. I’m taking it as a sign to actually answer it and give some insight into how I maintain such strong consistency.

1. I just do it.

I have invoked a no excuse policy with this year long commitment. Which means no matter what comes up, I do what I say I will do. I sit myself down at the computer every day and make sure that I have carved out the time to make this magic happen. When I don’t know what to write- I write that. From there something beautiful always comes through-always.

2. I’ve learned to prioritize.

ConsistencyIf I was shite at time management and gave whim to all my excuses this project would never happen. I have learned to choose what is important to me and make sure there is always time to get those things done. I start my day with my RSL routine and I don’t compromise. To be a light in this world and a leader I have to be able to show up 100%, to do this my tank has to be full. For the tank to be full I have to know what is important to my success and ensure those things get done first. I don’t always write in the morning but I ground myself so that whatever the day brings- I am able to create the space and time to sit and write a post.

3. I only invest my commitment into things that actually light me up.

This was a big lesson. I had to learn to say no to things I really wasn’t inspired by and to only give my word to things I really wanted to do. I chose this commitment because it inspired me, it also challenged me to take a achievable “big” step beyond the boundaries of what I knew was possible for me and level up my game. I know what I’m capable of handling and I also know what will push me out of my comfort zone. The key here is to find the delicate balance between those two worlds because that is what inspires us to become greater versions of who we know ourselves to be.

love trust respect

My big why

It is just as important to share with you why I place so much value on being consistent. The underlying reason it builds trust. I begin to build trust in myself that I can give my word and fulfill on it, that I can actually accomplish any thing my heart desires, and trust in that I am fulfilling a greater mission by completing these writings.

To be real honest, there are days when I really don’t want to write a post. There have been days where I push it to the very last hours of the day to actually sit down and write. And even though I have resistance sometimes I still continue to fulfill on my word. This is what sets me up for success in my relationships, in my career and in my life.

a_little_more_love_couldn__t_hurt_by_gorilla_ink-d559n4oIt leaves an impression on the world that I am someone who can be relied on and trusted in a big time way. You know what that makes possible? More vulnerability, more heart opening, more healing and more love. The environments required for this type of work have to be created with the utmost care and intention. People aren’t comfortable going into the deep dark parts of their being if they don’t trust they will come back out of it. This is why I am consistent. To be the safe space for people to open to their own brilliance, to embrace their shadow from a place of empowerment and to open to the incredible beauty of their vulnerability- which is their capacity to give and receive love.

This is why I choose to be consistent. For myself and for those around me. To participate in being a guiding force to bring forth real time examples of what is possible when we are inspired by love’s energy. It is why we are all here after all 😉

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!
Kels

Want to Love Yourself More? Make a List- Day 56: 365 RSL Project

29b4b90a02a511e29bea22000a1e8b98_7One of the ways in which I have truly grown my muscle of Radical Self Love is through acknowledging the qualities and aspects of myself I truly do love. This list varies from day to day because in all honesty some days are just better than others. To illustrate to all of you beautiful Radical Self Love lovers how I get my self love on I’m sharing with you one of my lists filled with things I love about myself.

First things first- Why making an RSL List works

When I have one of those days when things aren’t appearing as bright and shiny as per usual, I bust out this list and give it a read. When I first started building this list I was challenged to come up with 10 things, for true! I soon came to understand though that my resistance was just a way to keep me trapped in a cycle of negativity. It was also an indication that doing this exercise would be of great benefit simply because I was doing everything I could possibly imagine to avoid making this list.

If you are asking yourself how that makes any sense check this out:

Any time I am on the verge of a huge breakthrough my ego flairs up and pulls out all the stops to ‘try’ and get me to stay in the same cycles I’m in, meaning resistance around taking new empowered actions shows up.

Once I acknowledge what I love about myself, I have clear and realtime evidence that I actually do love myself. This evidence means my ego’s shit talk of ‘you aren’t good enough, you aren’t loveable’ or whatever nonsense it decides to spew out that day, is absolutely and positively false.

Imagine that, the illusions of the ego and the chatter of the monkey mind are just distortions of reality and completely untrue. Huh, who knew?!! 😉

Once I know the truth I can no longer allow myself to get away with diminishing my value, my worth and my being. We can’t un-know things. When all the facts are on the table we fully enter into the land of free will and choice. When I am present to how lovely and amazing I actually am, behaving from the ego is then something I am consciously choosing to do out of my own free will. This is a really terrible use of my time and in all honesty completely disrespects the opportunity I have as a human being to make this world a better place through my moment to moment actions, thoughts and feelings.

So in the spirit of making solid use of my time here on earth, being an example of love through my be-ing and supporting you lovelies in cultivating more of your own radical self love here is a list of 56 things I love about myself. Feel free to use any of these as inspiration for your own list!

Love List 1

KG’s RSL List:

I love:

1. My weirdness- I’m a big weirdo and it’s amazing 😉

2. My eyes and how bright and sparkly they are

3. My ability to be present with people and really hear what they are saying

4. My ability to interpret omens and synchronicities

5. My feet

6. My hair

7. How strong my nails are

8. My smile

9. My infectious laugh

10. My relationship to integrity

11. My ability to make a commitment and stick to it

12. My songwriting ability

13. My courage and inner strength

14. My awareness of my be-ing and ability to take 100% responsibility for all the things that happen in my life.

15. My ability to love openly and freely

16. My warm and inviting nature

17. How I can easily create the space for others to feel safe, taken care of and accepted

18. The lens of beauty I see the world through

19. How adaptable and flexible I can be

20. How open I am to learning, growth and expansion of who I know myself to be

21. My ability to inspire people by being authentic and raw

22. My ability to stand my ground and speak my truth

23. My musical talents

24. My sexuality and being able to experience deep profound spiritual sexual experiences

25. My selective nature of keeping only the best in my life

26. My high standards I achieve for myself in all areas

27. My understudying of universal laws and truth

28. My calves

29. My collarbone

30. My mindfulness

31. My kind and compassionate energy

32. My epic hugs

33. My ability to read energy

34. My ability to intuitively know and understand what is going on for people

35. My acceptance and unconditional love for those in my life

36. My connection with animals

37. My commitment to always be bettering myself

38. My ability to learn through contrast quickly

39. My honesty, loyalty and devotion

40. My vulnerability

41. My ability to pull myself out of contrast and see the underlying message and lesson

42. My ability to integrate lessons and stay on track

43. My positive self talk

44. My inner and outer beauty

45. My peaceful and grounded energy

46. My ability to be decisive and independent

47. My ability to own needing my own space and being free

48. My ability to learn from others

49. My attraction and manifestation abilities

50. My angel singing voice

51. My courage to step beyond what people think I should do and live life on my terms according to my highest truth

52. My courage to reinvent myself and keep going

53. My ability to take care of myself and know what to do to be my best version

54. My creativeness

55. My ability to communicate with love

56. My passion and drive

Bonus:

My belief in the world and its greatness and my belief in YOU and YOUR greatness!!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!

Kels

If you are inspired to share something you love about yourself comment on this post or share with us on our Facebook page! We would love to experience the yummy vibes of your Radical Self Love! xo

Pride, Mom Visits and the Epic Birthday Adventures Continue Day 44: 365 RSL Project

HAPPY NEW DAY/ HAPPY PRIDE!!!! Today my momma flew into town for a quick little bday visit. It’s pretty cool that my mom flies out to the city I live in on her few days off just to spend some time together and celebrate my birthday.

These occasions are just so incredibly precious. There was a time when I honestly didn’t truly value the importance and amazingness of the relationship with my mom. I can say I am truly lucky to have awoken to the preciousness of a mother daughter relationship and am so incredibly blessed to have done some big time solo healing in order to open and allow our relationship to develop into the incredible friendship we now share.

photo copy 12I feel so lucky to have such a loving and caring mom, who truly does support me in every single way possible. To have a relationship so connected that she flew out to Vancouver (after flying to LA last week to support me in my show) to take Connor and I out to celebrate my birthday.

photo copy 13Before our dinner tonight we quested around this beautiful city, went for breakfast, visited our favourite book store, took a lil gander to a crystal store, picked up some new friends for the crystal collection, got mom her new ipad and then made our way to an incredible dinner.

I am so happy to have the relationship we now do- and it has come formed through our cultivation of these four principals:

1. Honesty

2. Vulnerability

3. Openness

4. Unconditional Love

We each have travelled our unique paths to lead us to this point in time. Both paths have been filled with juicy lessons and opportunities for growth and deeper connection. I am so happy we both stepped up to the plate many years ago and freely chose to co-create a better relationship. The bond we share now is beyond what I ever thought was possible and I can truly say my mom is one of my best friends.

I am so grateful for this mini weekend trip and all the magical blessings it has already ushered in. How does it get any better than this?!

photo copy 10Love you momsie!!!

P.S. Mega gratitude to my moms friend Tony who blessed us with some incredibly pie for birthday dessert! Feeling very loved! ❤

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels