Searching for Security and the Quest For Freedom: The Dance of Relationship Polarities (PART1)- Day 314: 365 Radical Self Love Project

It is a well known fact that in love men and women approach things differently.

For the most part the feminine searches for security and the masculine quests for freedom.

This poses quite the dilemma when it comes to creating harmonious relationship dynamics as what the feminine is searching for pushes the masculine away and what the masculine is searching for pushes the feminine away. Seems like a challenging place to be and if we see it from this level it can seem like both genders are from different planets destined to be at odds forever. This is not the case, to see things differently and elevate our understanding of WHY this dynamic exists, we must elevate our awareness and come into greater alignment with our spiritual essence.

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So how can we come into alignment, have our conscious and unconscious desires fulfilled and experience harmony in our relationships?

We have to consciously choose to come into alignment with ourselves.

In this two part series I will dive into the juicy world of why women crave security and what we can learn from our masculine counterparts on creating internal alignment. In part two which I will release tomorrow, I will dive into the fascinating domain of why the masculine quests for freedom and what the feminine example can teach the masculine about achieving this search for freedom and create alignment internally.

Ladies listen up:

shiva3What the feminine unconsciously seeks in partnership is security. The feminine wants to feel safe and secure knowing that if the heart is openly given this act of love will be reciprocated and remain consistent and forever. This is a first level understanding of security. It is completely dependant on someone else and if the other person leaves or changes their mind our experience of security is crushed to bits. Not so fun. The next level understanding of security is this:

Knowing that the only true security is the security we cultivate within. This security is rooted in a strong and loving relationship to ourselves and our potential. When we learn to trust ourselves our experience of security flourishes.

One of the most powerful places to learn this massive soul lesson is in the domain of romantic relationships. Until we wake up spiritually, we will always seek out another to fill us up when we have no clue how to do that ourselves. In this circumstance we look to our romantic partner to provide us with an experience of “security”.

When it comes to embracing a conscious partnership we understand that our partners role is not to fill us up- we have to do that ourselves. Our partners role is to lead us into a greater understanding of how we can fill up our cup, leading by spiritual example and illuminate the areas in our lives where we are called to grow and expand.

How the Sacred Masculine leads the Divine Feminine to an expanded experience of wholeness and completeness.

If our collective soul growth as the divine feminine is to understand security and there isn’t a better example than to look to the sacred masculine. This is really good news lady loves as the masculine is a fabulous example of directing our awareness towards increased security, stability and grounding in truth- spiritually speaking.

The masculine energetically represents structure and the pillars of foundation. In real life this plays out generally like this:

Guys are usually pretty clear who they are, where they are going, what works for them, what doesn’t work for them and are for the most part are really solid in standing in this awareness and taking action in alignment with this knowingness. As women when we are tapped into these energies within ourselves, we are nourishing the sacred masculine within. It is in this discovery of self and knowingness of who we are that we begin to unearth and cultivate the feeling of security.

When we are constantly changing our minds, who we are and what we stand for (which is the energetic nature of the feminine) this unconsciously develops an untrue idea that the outside world can’t be trusted. A deep unconscious belief of this nature ultimately leads to activating and playing out a fear that we are unsafe. If we feel unsafe you better bet we are not feeling secure.

How do we heal this?

radical self love kelsey grantThis is one of the most magical aspects of the masculine feminine dynamic. The answers to the underlying lesson the feminine is called to learn is accessed through the example of the masculine and the answers to lessons the masculine is called to learn comes through the example of the feminine.

 

 

To spiritually evolve and come into greater alignment the feminine will draw inspiration from our masculine counterparts. We utilize the ways in which they come into knowing their truth, how they know what they stand for and the ways in which they maintain structure, stability and being anchored into who they are.

Then, we ask for help. We ask our spiritual brothers to lead the way to teach us how to become more internally stable. Our nature as the divine feminine is naturally free, changeable and all over the place and so if we want to thrive we must put any ego-ic guards down to sleep, embrace our humility and understand there is everything sacred about allowing the Sacred Masculine to lead us in the direction of becoming more balanced and really understanding our wholeness.

This is and always will be an inside job. The feminine’s ability to cultivate security resides in her willingness to honour and claim both polarities within her. It requires her to honour the masculine energies within and allow those structures for stability provide her with the security she is so deeply seeking. Our search for security is only a search for our wholeness- the merging of our masculine and feminine aspects within.

If any of these ideas about surrendering spiritually activates feelings of resistance, my invitation to you is to examine that resistance very closely. To examine this you will have to elevate your perspective and energy. When your vibration increases the stories around the resistance dissolve naturally and in this space of calmness we become open and receptive to really hear what is being said.

The longer the masculine and feminine are at war energetically with each other the longer peace, serenity and spiritual wholeness will elude us.

radical self love kelsey grantBoth the masculine and the feminine have EQUAL parts to play in each others evolution. As much as the masculine will lead and teach the feminine, the feminine will lead and teach the masculine. Men and women who put down the battle gear and surrender into this wisdom will be gifted with an awareness of their wholeness. With this awareness comes true peace of mind, happiness and you guessed it, Love.

Spiritual surrender is a cornerstone of any conscious partnership.

For those of you who have a desire to have a relationship where you are totally seen, understood, fulfilled, bursting at the seams with happiness, cherished, appreciated and loved in all the fantastical juicy ways you deserve- the path of conscious love is awaiting you to show up.

Show up for yourself, fill your cup and ladies its time to look to our spiritual brothers through the lens of compassion, curiosity and an openness to learn how to come into greater alignment with our inner masculine. If we ask the right questions, keep our senses acutely attuned and open our hearts to learning HOW to cultivate security and stability through the example of the Sacred Masculine- which is the dominant energy in EVERY man on this planet- we will embark on a powerful journey of self awareness, self empowerment, wholeness and the cultivation of divine love.

In tomorrows post I will be diving into the wonderful gifts the feminine has to teach to the masculine about his quest for freedom through her juicy example, so sit tight for those wisdom nuggets babes.

If this article really vibed with your heart, share share share it!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Sunshine, Smooches And A Whole Lot Of Love- Day 295: 365 Radical Self Love Project

What an absolutely perfect first day back together today!

We had a nice leisurely start to the morning, enjoyed the sunshine filling up our bedroom this morning, laughed snuggled and just enjoyed staying in bed longer than usual.

After a breakfast of fresh raw juice and gluten free blueberry and banana pancakes we set out on our day adventure.

We walked to a coffee shop we had never been to together did some reading and enjoyed delicious coffee. Then our long walk began.

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In total we rocked a 10km walk and adventured to new places and soaked up the sun, fresh air and the gloriousness of each others company.

After some smooches and selfies we made our way home to relax, make dinner and have a super chill night just lovin all over each other!

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I am so grateful to have him back and this time apart truly strengthened our bond and we are clear more than ever just how “in” this relationship we both are and how deeply committed we both are to the success of our partnership- such a massive win!

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With a very happy heart I wish you all the most beautiful evening! xo

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

1 More Sleep Until My Man Comes Home!!! 293: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Only 1 more sleep until my man gets back and I am so freaking stoked!!

After 2 weeks of being apart he will be coming home tomorrow night and my heart couldn’t be happier. Today as a beautiful way to wrap this entire adventure up we hopped on a call and just reflected on all the positive aspects of our time apart has had on our relationship.

Some of the highlights:

1. We learned how to more effectively communicate our needs to each other.

2. We had the opportunity to have really deep, authentic and new level conversations about our relationship, where we are headed and share our excitement in co-creating in this new direction.

3. We got a chance to really miss each other.

4. We explored new creative territory with one another and infused this new creativity into our daily communication.

radical self love kelsey grant5. We got a chance to really build a foundation of trust and honesty.

 

While I am grateful for all of these beautiful gifts we have acquired over our time away from each other I am most certainly ready for him to come back.

So tonight I am going to celebrate this massive accomplishment (being apart and being ok) with my favourite dinner and a lil vino and enjoy a super chill vibe in the house flying solo for one more evening. I feel so blessed to have the relationship that I do and it most certainly has required work, positive intention, commitment to both our healing and a desire to co-create the relationship of our dreams.

After todays reflection I’d say so far we are doing pretty freaking amazing 😉

Wishing you all the love in the world and the most happiness this evening can provide!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

A Year Ago Today- Celebrating a New Year of Relationship Memories- Day 289: 365 Radical Self Love Project

A year ago today was a hugely monumental day.

It marks the official re-uniting day between my partner and I. After a short 6 week breakup we began seeing each other. Testing the waters. After 5 weeks of seeing each other and clearly moving in the direction of being together we had to have the “clearing” convo. This convo took place exactly a year ago today.

The convo where he told me everything.

This convo about everything changed everything. In the moment of hearing the entire truth I had the chance to react in the same ways I always had and ultimately walk away or I could choose something different. Do something I had never done before- with no guarantees of a successful outcome- but with the opportunity to create infinite positive possibilities. So,

I chose to stay.

I chose to forgive.

I chose to heal.

I chose to grow.

I chose to love.

It has been one hell of a ride so far. Not easy by any means. It’s be rough. We’ve hit some major breakdowns and some major breakthroughs. We’ve had to deal with the impact and the delicate nature of both of our healings. While it has been nutty at times I wouldn’t change it for anything because he is the one I choose. He is the greatest love of my life and to me this kind of connection, authenticity, and depth of love is worth every ounce of challenge we’ve endured to end up here.

While I know there may be some more bumps along the way today marks a hugely significant milestone for us and I am so thrilled to see what this next year ahead has in store. In honour of the incredible journey this past year has been I’m going to share a little picture montage documenting this amazing year together!

Enjoy!

1. The first event we went to following our official reunion

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2. A family camping trip to kick off the summer

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3. A trip to LA for a performance I rocked

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4. Some summer time mountain climbing 

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5. A visit with my mom and more summer time adventures

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6. Wedding #1

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7. Wedding #2
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8. September Romantic Getaway -Salt Spring

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9. November Romantic Getaway- Whistler

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10. December Romantic Getaway- Big White

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11. Christmas Funtime

radical self love kelsey grant12. Christmas with the Famjam

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13. A New Years Trip Home 

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14. Sibling Visits to Van

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15. Our last date day before his work trip

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This has been one of the biggest and most profound years of growth and expansion I have ever experience and I am so grateful to spend my life with this incredible man by my side. Looking forward to levelling up this next year ahead! To the magic that awaits us…

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

 

 

How Interviewing Your Partner Leads To More Love- Day 272: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Homework is an awesome thing 😉

My assignment today in B-School was to ask my community what my 3 greatest qualities are. I sent out the question to my network and so far have received some pretty wonderful answers.

When my partner arrived home I asked him to share what he thought, his response: “Beautifully open, abundantly authentic and unconditionally loving”. 

Pretty freaking awesome.

Then we decided to go a little deeper and do a mini interview with each other. This was a exercise we both learned in a personal development training program that we hadn’t yet done with each other. Everything happens at the perfect time.

radical self love kelsey grant

The interview was 5 questions.

The way it is set up is that you ask questions about yourself and the other person answers to give you insight into how you occur to them, or in other words who they see you as.

He went first. Which meant I had to answer questions about him. In all honesty I was a little bit nervous, which I observed but continued on with the interview.

The answers that came out of my mouth really surprised me as they required me to go deeper than a surface conversation and to really give him access to who he is to me.

Then it was my turn. I asked the same series of questions and he got to give me access to who I am to me.

A pretty heart opening conversation to say the least.

Among my strengths:

An ability to see the unseen in people and in their lives and an ability to support people through the process of seeing their unconscious or unseen elements in a safe and loving environment.

Among my weaknesses:

Not fully believing in myself or my abilities.

Among the things I can be counted on for:

To be unconditionally loving and nurturing to those in my life.

Among the things I can never be counted on for:

To miss details of any kind.

Among the things my community collectively knows about me:

I will always see them as their greatness and lend support no matter what.

Pretty f’ing cool. So what started as a homework assignment turned into a pretty incredible conversation and opportunity to deepen our bond and really understand more fully who we really are to eachother in this partnership.

Feeling pretty loved and filled with gratitude.

What this exercise has reminded me of

That the conversations that matter  the most in life wont always be the easiest ones to have. The deeply juicy, life changing, heart opening, vulnerability cracking, authenticity revealing conversations that call us to connect on a way more profound level will take something to start.

They will take courage

They will take bravery

They will take love

They will take vulnerability

They will take feeling your fear and resistance and stepping through it

They will take you showing up for yourself and for your life.

These real, raw and revealing conversations are what remind us of our humanity, of our connection and of our ability to live in love’s example. This goodness is possible if we choose to step up and step into the call of our hearts.

All things are possible with an open heart and the power of love.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Making Time For Love and Dates- Day 268: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Today has been all about Love and Dates.

Self love dates, friendship dates and relationship dates.

I woke up nice and early this morning to hit up a hot yoga class with 2 of my friends. It was such a wonderful way to start the day and a fabulous way to get some friend love and friendship dates in the mix.

Following yoga it was time for a self love date. I hopped into my fav coffee shop, grabbed a coffee and a chocolate croissant and set up shop. I had my book and some paper to journal. I spent time mapping out the next evolution of the business, wrote a 2 hour workshop on relationships and read.

radical self love kelsey grant

After 2.5 solid hours of me time and heart centred creation I met up with my partner.

We had a mini business meeting about his projects, did some creative masterminding and then headed out for our afternoon date.

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We adventured to a different part of the city, grabbed a coffee, went for a beautiful walk along the beach, had incredible chats about our relationship, how we can strengthen our bond, how we want to grow together, the next chapter of RSL and building this company and the next chapter of our love story. It was amazing.

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Then we went for late afternoon ice cream at this amazing independent shop that just opened recently. Seriously so yummy.

After all of that we made our way home to make an awesome pizza dinner and complete the night with a lil more work/study time then snuggles and movie!

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Pure purrrrfection.

We have so much time every day to make the most of our lives and fit in all the things that truly matter. The key is clearing the space. When we fill up our lives with shit we don’t really want to do or agree to things that drain our energy more than they contribute or we say yes to hanging with peeps when all we really want is some solo time- we find ourselves on the edge of burnout and breakdown.

You are the only one in the drivers seat of your life. You choose what you say yes to and what you say no to. While it may not always be possible to design each and every day this way- we all have responsibilities and such- it is possible to begin to create more time for ourselves doing what we love.

Start with one afternoon a week. A 2 hour window each week that is purely dedicated to YOU and doing exactly what you want. Then expand it from there! You are completely worth it!!!

If you really want to amp it up and learn how to effectively rock the self love train join us in the 30 Day Radical Self Love Program! It’s designed in such a way where we start to build the muscle of imputing time for ourselves little by little each day so we can really thrive in love and life. Sign up HERE

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

Healthy Body, Healthy Love: How Our Body Image Shapes Our Relationship Success- Day 245: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Well it’s monthly workshop share time!!

This month is a juicy one!

“Healthy Body, Healthy Love: How Our Body Image Shapes Our Relationship Success”

In this month’s Radical Self Love Workshop series we are diving into the world of body image, health and relationships.The image we hold of our bodies is directly correlated with the outcome and harmony of our intimate and romantic relationships. In this month’s workshop we are going to identify the connection between how we see ourselves and the ways in which we show up for love and relationships.

In this workshop you will learn:

* How our health/body image habits directly mirror our patterns and habits in relationships.

* Why we fall back into old habits and new effective tools to embrace this normal experience.

* How to cultivate the harmony of positive self image, body image and relationship image.

*The fundamental importance of learning to embrace our shadow side with the beautiful energy of light and love.

radical self love kelsey grantWomen and men alike all struggle to some degree with body image. Like wise we all struggle to a degree in our ability to connect and thrive in romantic partnerships. The cause of both breakdowns is a block in love.

In this workshop we will be sharing HOW to uncover the blocks to love we all have in body image and drawing the incredible correlation that our body image has on our success in romance.

Only once the darkness within has been identified can it be transformed into something beautiful, something new, something worthy of love’s name.

If you are vibin with us and are ready to come rock out another fabulous Thursday session we will be starting promptly at 7. Please arrive early doors will open at 6:30. We will be in the love flow until 9pm!

Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door. Advance tickets are available in the link below or copy and paste this link into your browser (https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/healthy-body-healthy-love-how-our-body-image-shapes-relationship-success-tickets-10707846457)

***If you are not in the Vancouver area and would like to join us you may purchase the audio of the live workshop for $11. Email me directly at rsl@kelseygrant.com with the subject line “February Virtual Workshop Details” and I will set you up from there! ***

This workshop IS for you if:

  • You have struggled with maintaining a positive self image and body image and feel ready and willing to make a substantial shift in your life.
  • You are interested in tools to increase your positive body image.
  • You are compassionate, self forgiving and embrace your ever growing evolution and expansion.
  • You are open minded and have embraced some level of spiritual connectivity.
  • You are looking for ways to enhance your romantic relationship and become a better partner.
  • You are keen on being surrounded by like minded positive, expansive and love filled community.
  • You are on your own unique journey of self love, self compassion, self awareness- and jump at the opportunity to soak up any resources and information that can contribute to your healing and growth.
  • You understand the importance of contribution and relate to yourself as someone who has a worth while perspective and you honour the contribution you are to your community.
  • You are committed to your personal transformation.
  • You believe in the power of love.

This workshop is not for you if:

  • You are looking for a quick fix
  • You are looking for dieting tips
  • You are closed off and naturally distrusting of new information or “happy people”
  • You don’t see the value in being on time, paying for workshops or being part of a high vibing community.
  • You are all talk and no action in your life.
  • You are more interested in looking at other peoples flaws and shortcomings than investigating your internal terrain.
  • You don’t believe in the power of love.

As always, whether or not this workshop or community is a fit for you, we honour you for stopping by and beam to you infinite blessings for your journey!!!

You can scoop up your ticket and additional event info HERE

 

Only Love,

Kelsey and Kristin