As my RSL journey has unfolded I’ve become more tuned into my passion and love for relationships.
Inside of this passion I’ve been noticing some behaviours in the dating and relationship world that deeply repel love in really sneaky ways.
This is one of the main reasons why I was called to write the first RSL ebook “Sabotaged Love- The 12 Archetypes Keeping You From The Love You Want”.
One of the archetypes I explore in the book is The Chase and Dodger. This archetype thrives on the thrill of the chase. It knows what to say, how to say it, when to say it to keep their “interest” interested. The thrill of chasing and pursuit is strong in this archetype and once they get what they say they want almost instantaneously loose interest.
While I won’t dive into why this archetype shows up I will offer you some very solid coaching on how to lovingly approach and handle these types of dynamics.
The best and only way to approach people with this archetype is to be straight up. Be real. Be honest- like all out on the table honest- right from the beginning.
This archetype only wants to pursue someone who is OK with ambivalence, ok with the grey zone and ok with a lack of clarity and grown up communication. The hint of any real talk spooks this archetype and they fast track themselves into the second aspect of their behaviour which is to dodge- dodge talking, dodge clarity, dodge commitment anything deemed as restricting their idea of freedom will send them running for the hills.
You might be wondering why clear communication is a good thing with these archetypes if they spook easily. To know where you stand with yourself means you are in your power, you are in alignment with your heart. When you are in this alignment you attract people who are playing at the same level. People with honest and true intentions, who have dealt with their shit, and are willing to be real and vulnerable can only be attracted into your life when you are being this way. People harbouring this archetype are, at the present time, unable to reciprocate this honesty and transparency, which leads you to know with deep certainty they are not the perfect partner for your precious heart.
Have the courage to pull out the real card, get honest and tell the truth about how you feel will filter out the chase and dodge types nearly immediately. This way your time isn’t wasted playing cat and mouse dating games and you support the vibration of love in the world by not buying in and feeding their ego archetype.
Being real with a new potential partner is either going to freak out and run away or they will be excited and relieved because you are both on the same page. Either way you are taken care of. If they run away- it is a massive blessing from the Universe protecting you from a potential painful future heartache. The people who run away are NOT your perfect partner. No matter how we reason, justify or try and manipulate it, the fact is the perfect partner for you is the one who meets everything you are looking for and is willing to invest themselves into the relationship 100%. This means the perfect partner for you is someone who is available in every sense, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, spiritually.
If someone freaks out because you love yourself enough to respect what you want and have the courage to boldly communicate your desires- they are not the perfect person for you. Let them run, eventually they will face themselves and once they do they too will be able to find themselves in the arms of their perfect match.
You are so deeply worthy of a love that fills you up and a partner who is truly available to you and your heart. Honour yourself, be radically real and raise those standards baby! By declaring how you feel and what you are looking for right away you confirm your relationship order with the Universe. You have to act in alignment with your desires in order to bring them to fruition.
I knew my ideal partner would have to be someone who was capable of hearing my truth but also open and conscious enough to speak his truth and what his heart was calling for. Ever since I uncovered this nugget of wisdom years ago my dating life has become this beautiful, exciting and respectful place to dwell.
There is an ease present when both people know what the parameters of the union are and are in full agreement with the co-creation.
My relationship now is a testament to my clarity and willingness to speak my truth over and over and over. My heart is happy and my relationship is thriving. Being honest may not bring you the immediate result (person) you were hoping for but it will always deliver you exactly what you ask for (the perfect person for YOU) if you open your mind and heart to receive it.
If you would like to receive a copy of the first RSL ebook before we release it to the world hop onto our mailing list to join the community who will receive first dibs on reading this juicy book! You can join our list over at our website www.kelseygrant.com
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!