Asking For What You Need IS Part Of The Path Of Love- Day 291: 365 Radical Self Love Project

The lessons just keep coming and it’s perfect.

As I shared a few days ago my partner and I celebrated a pretty fantastical milestone. If you missed it you can read about it HERE.

Over the past couple days I’ve been present to a few things. First being that it is so easy to get caught up in comparing our lives with what we think we know about someone else’s. When we slip into this ego trap we are comparing our lives, with all our beautiful and not so beautiful pieces, to an INTERPRETATION or PERCEPTION of what we THINK another persons life is- not the actual reality of it.

This is very true when it comes to looking at role models or leaders in our lives. The truth of the matter is EVERYONE has shit they gotta deal with and even the most distinguished and incredible leaders still have to deal with the lifeyness of life. No one has a picture perfect life- we all have challenges and we all have wins.

The second thing I’ve been present to is how much of the journey is really about claiming what we need moment to moment and conjuring up the courage to ask for what we need.


This showed up in my relationship BIG time these past few days.

Even though we achieved a significant and incredible milestone it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. We’ve had to work through some dark ass shit this week. Ultimately leading us to the place where I was able to really get clear on what I needed and ask for it.

At this stage of our relationship I’m really feeling the need for a little re-assurance and external validation from him. While I know he shows me love in many different ways there was still a major disconnect- I wasn’t pickin up what he was throwing down so to speak.

So we dove in.

We stood head on in the face of both our shadows and called for the greater parts of ourselves. The parts that were capable of understanding one another. The parts of us that are pure, divine and sacred.

This took some time but over the course of a few conversations we were finally really understanding each other. We came to the realization that right now the most effective means for him to communicate his love to me in a way that makes sense to me is through words of affirmation.

The outcome:

I awoke to one of the most beautiful written notes he has ever given me AND certainly the most love filled note I have ever received from a partner. The second I read it my entire body and being relaxed, I settled into the massive beam of love and affection he had just sent my way and I allowed myself not only to receive it fully but completely surrender into the bliss of the gift.

The lesson:

Not only is it completely OK to ask for what you need, it is a requirement for our path and our healing. It is also completely OK if from time to time you need outside reassurance and validation during this path. It can get intense and if we have the courage to ask for what we honestly need (while still doing the work to fill ourselves up in the self love department) we will always be blessed with the abundant gifts of the Universe and most likely we will start to see a side of the human condition that is soft, kind and downright incredible.

Give yourself permission to really OWN what you need right now, trusting that it may very well change in the future but for now it is what you need- and it’s all perfect.

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!




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