There has been a theme running through my community lately- the ego’s version of perfection.
Part of my Radical Self Love journey has required me to surrender my ego’s versions of pretty much everything and hop on the high vibe train of my higher self. Not always an easy task but always a really fulfilling one.
It has meant making peace with the fact that life isn’t always perfect in the sense that everything is always harmonious, positive, happy and love filled.
It has meant accepting that part of the journey is the shadow times when all my shit comes up and hits the fan in a big time way.
It has meant that my dream relationship from time to time will face the battlegrounds of an ego-ic blowout.
It has meant there are times when I struggle with insecurity in all areas of my life. I question what the heck I’m doing, doubt myself, diminish the accomplishments I’ve made, reject my body, and hide away from connection.
And it has meant in light of all of these shadow moments there is divine perfection.
It is through these moments of non-perfection where I have the opportunity to see the divine perfection of the situation, moment or experience. It is in these moments of battle or challenge I get to come face to face with my ego, dance with it, get to know it, understand it better and from that place of greater awareness I can begin to transform those lower energies into something greater.
The Key to Moving On
To move forward in any capacity, especially when it comes to painful points in our past we have to acknowledge what is true for us- even if it seems completely absurd and unproductive. The ego will always label it as unproductive so you don’t do the work and continue to stay stuck.
There have been so many times since re-uniting with my partner nearly a year ago where all of my vulnerabilities, fears have been triggered. For the longest time I didn’t want to admit that I was angry. I let myself feel upset and emotional but I shut down the entire part of me that was pissed. Angry at him for betraying my trust and the agreements of our relationship. Angry at her for pursuing my partner for months and ultimately creating enough chaos where shit went down and our relationship broke.
Until I was willing to get in the ring with my anger and get real about it, it unconsciously continued to control me. I would punish myself emotionally over and over by repeating the entire scenario in my head and experiencing it all over again. I had to get incredibly honest with myself and let myself admit that I was deeply hurt and underneath that incredibly angry.
The Sweet Beauty of Release
The process of letting go in matters of the heart is often a process. We do what we can with where we are at. As I got more truthful and honest about what was really there for me I began to dissolve the charge that was holding me captive. Every time I told the truth on myself sans drama and making wrong stories I would set myself free a little bit more.
As I set myself free- just by being honest that everything isn’t always perfect, there are parts of me that are still hurt and angry- my vibration began to increase. The weight of my suffering began to shed. A result of this shedding I was now more open and receptive to goodness flowing in.
I began this layer of healing last month and this past month has been one of the most abundant and profitable months I’ve experienced since embarking on this journey full out last summer. As I got honest about what was real for me I dissolved my ego’s death grip and opened up to the incredible abundant flow of love.
So where ever you are right now is “perfect” however it is. Give yourself permission to be honest with yourself. Honour your feelings and what is true for you. When you are no longer in resistance to your reality a sweet release begins to take place and inside of this release you reclaim your juicy freedom.
To me now perfection is being at peace with reality and dancing in the glorious imperfections of my life. It is within these imperfect moments I am able to reclaim my power, my divinity, my abundance, my heart, my awareness, my happiness and my greatness- to me that is pure perfection in all it’s glory.
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!