Why Relationships Bring Out Our Shadow- Day 269: 365 Radical Self Love Project

“Demons”- Imagine Dragons

I’ve had this jam on all weekend.

When I find something I like I consume it big time especially when it comes to music.

What I particularily like about this rendition of “Demons” originally by Imagine Dragons but performed here by Kina Grannis and Tyler Ward, is the beautiful blending and harmony of two incredible voices, the originality of the musical arrangement and the deep feeling both of them are emoting through their performance.

Embracing the shadow in love

As I’ve been embracing elements of my shadow this week in relation to my relationship this song really resonates. We all have “demons” and they are all hidden within the corners of our mind, body and soul. When we find ourselves in relationships there is often a time when when our shit starts to surface.

At the start of a relationship we are pretty open, we are in the bliss of love and our hearts are blasted right open. Then something happens. We start to change. Things become more challenging- our shadows begin to emerge.

The beautiful spiritual purpose of intimate relationships is to evolve, transform and open to our truth. How do we get there? We gotta go through the shit. All the crap we have accumulated over a lifetime of believing in fear or at least making agreement with it. We gotta undo all of it. The more we undo the higher we fly- the freer we become.

The purpose of intimate love is to set us free- free from the illusions of our ego and into the bliss of our hearts the bliss of love.

To experience love in its purest forms and in all its glory we must become aware of all the blocks we have to love and then consciously do the work to dissolve them. We have to heal ourselves. We have to let love in.

Romantic relationships are the greatest access point to our healing.

They will open us, crack us open and then shine the spotlight into those deep dark corners of our being. Our shadow will be called out. At first if we are unaware it will seem like the relationship is falling apart and beliefs like “love shouldn’t be this hard” or “love is supposed to be easy” are what keep us trapped in the illusion.

What we are being called towards every single time shit hits the fan in love is to go within. Look at what part of our shadow is wanting to be made seen. What “demon” is ready to be let go of.

Why this happens in relationships

Because it is only in the energy of love that we can truly heal these elements of our being. When our hearts are deeply connected to another there is an opening to the divine. There is an exchange of love’s bliss. It is in this highest vibration that all darkness can be transmuted. In the divinity of intimate relationship we have the chance to dive in, swim to the depths of our being and come out alive. The energy of love is safe. On a soul level we all understand this and so we are drawn into relationships with the exact people who will help us heal the most.

This is why we may have many partners in a lifetime. Each relationship will take us into different layers and levels of who we are. All of it is a beautiful exploration if we let ourselves perceive it that way. Relationships bring out our shadows so we can learn to become greater versions of ourselves, understand fully and lovingly embrace the totality of being.

When we can make friends with our shadow we have passed the soul lesson. We have many shadows and many lessons. So when we bring curiosity, awareness and love into our relationship mix we access infinate potential for massive soul expansion and deep human connection.

Who knew our shadows could bring to us something so beautiful and deeply fulfilling 😉

For more relationship goodness hit me up at rsl@kelseygrant.com as I’m currently working on a new relationship program coming this spring!  If you are interested in going deeper and stepping up your love game lets connect and get the conversation started!!

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!

Kels

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