3 Lessons In Love, 1 Big Lesson In Life- Day 120: 365 Radical Self Love Project

Relationships are fascinating things.

Every day I am alive I am ever in awe of the intricacies of human dynamics and the profound nature of intimate relationships.

radical self love kelsey grant

The 3 most prevalent lessons on my mind lately when it comes to love, intimacy and romantic relationships:

  • Radical Self Love Kelsey GrantNothing goes away before it teaches us what we need to know. Meaning the same cycles of behaviour will continue to arise and manifest until we “wake up” to the deeper lesson our soul is trying to get us to learn. Each time we repeat a lesson it gets more intense in the hopes we will pay attention, understand our dysfunctional behaviour, take steps to transform and move forward in a spirit of love.


  • radical self love kelsey grantRelationships do not cause pain or unhappiness- they simply bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already inside of us. For this reason alone relationships to me are incredibly sacred. It is in these intimate dynamics with other people that we come face to face with ourselves and what we have been deeply hiding. Most relationships don’t ever get to this state of awareness. The trap of the ego keeps both people blaming and pointing fingers at one another- which is a fabulous diversion tactic to keep us from looking within, which is where all the juiciness and answers lie. Our partners are our mirrors giving us a front row seat to that which we do not want to look at about ourselves and that which we love about ourselves. The trouble is we are quick to “own” the good stuff and quick to project the not so good stuff. When we come to know that our relationships are set in place to bring out our shadows, for the sole purpose of transforming the lower energies, patterns and beliefs to those aligned with love, it takes massive pressure and weight off the relationship. This allows for the possibility of both people operating from a space of curiosity, self awareness and gentleness.


  • radical self love kelsey grantThere is always a reason people come into our lives. Either you need them to change your life or you are the one to change theirs. Not all the relationships we have are meant to be “THE ONE”. Many of these are “prep” relationships that are there to stretch us, grow us and strengthen us- usually through shitty circumstances. We may not always understand “why” certain people or situations are called into our lives or why they last for as long or as short as they do. What there is to know is that they are always there to prepare us for the positive, open, vulnerable partnerships we are all capable of. This by no means is exclusive to 1-1 relationship dynamics. This absolutely applies for every single type of relationship dynamic possible. Especially if we are entering into the “open relationship” territory our intuition, communication, openness, vulnerability and honesty have to be at an all time high, just the same as in a monogamous relationship, if we intend to have a healthy, fulfilling partnership that is an extension of love.

The main life lesson:

There is always something to be learned from every single encounter, relationship or intimate experience. I have come to realize in the past few days through my relationship that the things I am most afraid of happening to me (being abandoned) are merely a projection of my own patterns of avoidance and running away.

In my past relationships I was always the one who bailed, who refused to let my guard down, be vulnerable. The one who ran away. Literally. I was in my relationships but not present. I would go through the motions of what I thought it meant to be in a relationship all the while never truly opening, surrendering or being open to the possibility of love.

The fascinating part

radical self love kelsey grantAll of those relationships, situations and circumstances had to happen, just the way they did, in all their pain, in all their joy, in order to bring me to this exact moment of extreme awareness. It is inside of this “knowing” that I get to reclaim my power, heal and see the bigger reason and lesson behind everything that I have ever been through in my entire life. I now am presented with the opportunity to move forward in the space of this new awareness. This means I will be called to act in ways I never have before, cultivate new belief and emotional patterns and open to the incredibly possibility of deep, fulfilling partnership.

Sounds deliciously beautiful to me so here I go- leaping into this beautiful unknown 😉

Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!



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