This morning I awoke to a lovely surprise from my man.
Ahhhemm!! Mind. Gutter. Out. Meow.
If your your mind went into the gutter as mind did right after I wrote that sentence, have a little giggle, keep that smile beaming and lets move on 😉
This morning he brought me breakfast in bed…well more like a breakfast smoothy in bed…and breakfast none the less. In our beautiful little life together I am usually the one who rocks the food prep and food creation. You know what is nice…occasionally breaking out of those roles and doing kind and loving things for each other.
I honestly love this role I take on in our relationship. Making food and rocking the home front to me is a pleasure. I love cooking, I love being creative and I love rocking my creation in a clean clear space. For me cleaning allows me to experience peace of mind and a sense of pride and accomplishment. Now and again though it sure is rad to have those things taken care of. The only reason this is a peaceful and enjoyable situation is because my partner and I have clearly communicated our areas of strength and interest when it comes to keeping the home and we also openly communicate our needs and requests to be in harmony with our own personal values.
This is one of the things that makes my relationship so fantastical and my partner so darn special. He is super aware and understands the value in both of us contributing to the home, to the relationship and to each other just like I do. To get to this place has taken trial and experimentation. Living with a partner while incredible, will take some effort on both sides. Coming together in this way takes hyper awareness and a commitment on both ends to co-creating a rocking relationship.
We all have our models of the world-we learn these models through our upbringing and our personal life experience. So when it comes to living together we have to respect ourselves enough to create the environment where you can both get curious about each other’s way of being and way of life.
Word to the wise
The way your partner lives and does life may be different than yours, most likely it is, and it is in no way wrong or worse than yours. We are all brought up different and we all value different things. Why does this fall into the “respecting yourself “category you may be wondering. Simple. Imposing your reality and un-communicated expectations onto anyone is an act of disrespect.
You have every right to be happy and fulfilled in a relationship and your access point to this happiness and respect is communicating your expectations and partaking in open, expansive and co-creation dialogue with your partner. When you make an authentic effort to understand your partners model of the world there is a very high probability they too will want to understand yours (If they really don’t want to understand and co-create with you it is an indication that perhaps it’s time for this relationship to come to a close).
When you are both in the energy of curiosity, acceptance and love you then enter this beautiful space where you can consciously co-create the unique relationship only the two of you can have.
When it comes to communication no one is perfect
It may take a few times to really get these conversations flowing in a positive direction. People are so used to being judged that at first, curious discussion may trigger an automatic response of defence. If this does happen keep your calm, remind yourself you are asking from a place of pure love with the intention of co-creating an even more harmonious relationship. Sometimes you may have to reassure your partner of this intention, especially if this type of conversation or dialogue is out of the ordinary in your relationship.
Also remember you don’t have all the answers and you are just doing the best you can with the tools you have. As you open to new paradigms of communication, relating and harmonious partnership you will be given new tools to implement. Give yourself some grace if you mess up. If you don’t “get it right” on the first go, learn from what didn’t work and fine tune your approach for the next time. That is how we grow and design a life and a relationship that mirrors what our hearts truly desire.
So if you want some help around the house let your partner know, if you have needs or expectations that you’ve been suppressing share with your partner. Let them authentically know how their contribution makes your world a better place, ask for what you need and be open to hearing what they need to thrive. Ultimately this kind of dialogue begins the co-creation of something really special!
RSL’s Rockstar Relationship Training starts January 2014. Email us for more details if you are digging all this relationship content and are looking for the tangible how to’s to put all of this into practice! More love, more happiness and rocking relationships…2014 it’s ON!!! For more deets email us here @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Radical Self Love to the MAX!!!